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Thread: Pretentious Fi

  1. #11
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by teslashock View Post
    It seems like Fi users could be more productive if they were willing to admit that their own feelings are not inherently correct and/or universally felt.
    I don't see how this is an NFP trait, and I explained that what you assume is not the case, or at least with myself and many other NFPs. I think YOU are the one trying to tell us what we feel and how we think now.
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe

  2. #12
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by teslashock View Post
    Heh, agreed. But is this really an NTP/NFJ thing, or are Fe people better at this in general?



    What are these 4?




    Agreed. How can Ti/Fi get along in arguments/discussions then? It seems like Fi users could be more productive if they were willing to admit that their own feelings are not inherently correct and/or universally felt. But what can Ti do?

    Maybe we just all need the Ni to see that Ti and Fi are rather arbitrary standards for governing our values and should not be dogmatically impressed upon all situations regardless of context...
    The first is the hardest, and mentionned already: being emotionally stable yourself and able to detach. Second is asking questions to verify your reading, making sure you're in sync with the person, potentially recapping what's going on to make sure you got it right. Third is knowing the backstory and applying it to your analysis (aka, if a person is feeling anger, the backstory will tell you how that will make them react, whereas you as the interpreter might do something else in that situation), fourth is using the bodylanguage of the person to verify your reading, and back up the questions, steer them. Together, they will often give you a very acurate pic of what's happening.

    What can you do? Don't get defensive
    Much like ENTPs wanna know what's inside your head and logically verify everything and question stuff (which to us feels like you're not believing us, questionning our morals and values and makes us go all porcupine on ya and btw makes us paranoid and read into your emotions to see wtf is wrong with you that you feel like you need to torture us ), we're the same on feelings.

    We wanna know what's going on in your soul. And ENTPs are usually reluctant to share that. When you start getting defensive, we feel, much like yourself in a Ti situation, that you're hiding something..so we'll start digging. If you don't cooperate= no information= guessing is the only option= likely to be very inaccurate. It's pretty much what you guys do to get ideas out of people's heads and verify them. We do the same on the emotional level. Realize that. It helps. We're not trying to emotionally rape you, or tell you how you feel. We want you to tell us. If you don't however, we'll guess.

    Also, in our defense....T's seem to often not realize that they *are* in fact emoting. If you vibe frustration and anger at us because you're getting frustrated at not finding the answer you seek, often it's misinterpreted by us as..omg, she's frustrated and angry at me..but why??? Then we ask...and you tell us that there's no anger or frustration. We get confused coz we clearly see it, and try to point it out, whereas to you that anger and frustration is minimal and irrelevant (so I've been told). To us however, anger and frustration is to be avoided and leaves a big imprint, so we don't wanna be responsible for that in others. Meanwhile you can see how both sides would go porcupine and how the thing would escalate. (you'll also notice that in this description the NF did *not* fulfill the 4 prerequisites as the situation didn't allow them to, and yet he/she needed to make a value judgement to try and resolve the conflict...which only made it worse).

    /end rant.

    Ps: this is my personal experience, if yours is different, feel free to share.
    ★ڿڰۣ✿ℒoѵℯ✿ڿڰۣ★





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  3. #13
    Shaman BlackCat's Avatar
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    Good luck with the incoming NF shitstorm, tesla!

    ZOMG Ti vs Fi! ZOMG that NTP is telling me how I function, and that's not true! But I don't realize that they are just analyzing it, and they are an ENTP, and need to verbalize to come to an understanding! I also don't know that they need to provoke to get more information!

    () 9w8-3w4-7w6 tritype.

    sCueI (primary Inquisition)

  4. #14
    Intriguing.... Quinlan's Avatar
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    This thread needs concrete examples.
    Act your age not your enneagram number.

    Quinlan's Creations

  5. #15
    Habitual Fi LineStepper JocktheMotie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Quinlan View Post
    This thread needs concrete examples.



  6. #16
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BlackCat View Post
    Good luck with the incoming NF shitstorm, tesla!

    ZOMG Ti vs Fi! ZOMG that NTP is telling me how I function, and that's not true! But I don't realize that they are just analyzing it, and they are an ENTP, and need to verbalize to come to an understanding! I also don't know that they need to provoke to get more information!
    It's the double standard that pisses us off. We're supposed to accept their provoking, their probing, their analyzing of us (as if they know us better than ourselves), but we get written off as pretentious know-it-alls when we do the same because then we are supposedly making assumptions about people's emotions.
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe

  7. #17
    triple nerd score poppy's Avatar
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    I've seen this happen with both NFJs and NFPs. There is, I think, an inherent gap in communication between Fi and Fe, because each wants to assume that the other works the way that it does.
    "There's no need to be embarrassed about it, Mr. Spock. It happens to the birds and the bees!"

  8. #18
    Senior Member Nescio's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Quinlan View Post
    This thread needs concrete examples.
    Sounds like a good Idea.

    looks like it too.

    Augh... I feel like such a non-contribution.

  9. #19
    Shaman BlackCat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Quinlan View Post
    This thread needs concrete examples.
    Yeah I see about this discussed CONSTANTLY, but no one ever gives any examples.
    () 9w8-3w4-7w6 tritype.

    sCueI (primary Inquisition)

  10. #20
    Reptilian Snuggletron's Avatar
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    I've had this crap pulled on me by a fellow male INFP. Although it was more of him trying to make me feel guilty over something I asked about another friend. He is pretentious in general though, and he's sometimes a prick in general too. I'm not sure if that applies here.

    As for me, I've assumed how others feel, but I don't tell them. In my experience, that hunch is often wrong so I keep it in the bag until I'm sure.

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