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  1. #91
    & Badger, Ratty and Toad Mole's Avatar
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    Mindfulness

    Quote Originally Posted by highlander View Post
    . Such a beautiful answer. Let's say I completely agree with you. What concrete actions do you think a person should take on this journey? I don't mean this in any manner of disrespect or critique but can you speak in concrete manner and beyond the romantic platitudes?
    Well, it certainly is romantic as the sea is in love with the wind and the wind is in love with the sea. But if we wish to follow a spiritual exercise in a spiritual tradition, we could do worse than mindfulness in buddhism.

  2. #92
    resonance entropie's Avatar
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    I am sexually force vectorial...

    ok math jokes really aint funny :/
    [URL]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEBvftJUwDw&t=0s[/URL]

  3. #93
    Secret Sex Freak Hazashin's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DisneyFanGirl View Post
    I'm an ENFP and I'm saving myself for marriage.
    Why? How would you know if you were sexually compatible or not? It will not be the end of the world if you have sex with someone you're not married to. Sheesh.
    MBTI: INFP
    Enneagram: 6w7, phobic
    Tritype: 6-9-2
    Instinctual Variant: Sx/Sp
    Temperament: Pure Supine
    D&D Alignment: Neutral Good
    Political Stance: Solid Liberal
    Religious Views: Atheist

    Fi > Ne > Ti > Fe > Se > Si > Te > Ni

    "Forgiveness means letting go of the past." ~ Gerald Jampolsky
    "I am justice!" ~ Light Yagami, Death Note
    "The choices people make tell you a lot about a person, but the reasons [...] tell you even more." ~ Albus Dumbledore (paraphrased)

    Tatiana ♥

  4. #94
    Member DisneyFanGirl's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hazashin View Post
    Why? How would you know if you were sexually compatible or not? It will not be the end of the world if you have sex with someone you're not married to. Sheesh.
    You know, I am really tired of people who say things like that. Everyone talks about tolerance now but when someone decides to save themselves for marriage, it's suddenly a horrible thing to do (when 50 years ago it was considered right). I'm saving myself because I don't want to get an STD, I don't want to end up with some guy who only wants me for my body, and I definitely don't want to get pregnant before I'm ready to have kids.

    Sorry, I've had a really awful week and I'm snapping at everyone. But I stand by my decision.

  5. #95
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    Quote Originally Posted by DisneyFanGirl View Post
    You know, I am really tired of people who say things like that. Everyone talks about tolerance now but when someone decides to save themselves for marriage, it's suddenly a horrible thing to do (when 50 years ago it was considered right). I'm saving myself because I don't want to get an STD, I don't want to end up with some guy who only wants me for my body, and I definitely don't want to get pregnant before I'm ready to have kids.

    Sorry, I've had a really awful week and I'm snapping at everyone. But I stand by my decision.

    i think he was just being curious... and so am i: protection or pills & blood tests pretty much solve 2/3rds of your problem, developing a relationship over time before jumping into bed solves the rest of it.

    i get that you might not want to devalue sex by the possibility that it's just for your body, but isn't it a much greater risk to devalue marriage by the possibility that it's just for sex?

  6. #96
    Member DisneyFanGirl's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mane View Post
    i get that you might not want to devalue sex by the possibility that it's just for your body, but isn't it a much greater risk to devalue marriage by the possibility that it's just for sex?
    See that's a good question. I believe (and have been told by people in my life who have experience with this issue) that sex is something that's going to exacerbate any breakup. I also really like the idea of only having sex with one man. It makes sex really special. But I want to make sure that man is someone I love for who he is, not for his body. It goes both ways. I don't really have a strong sex drive right now so I get the feeling that I won't have one in a relationship until much later on (in which case, I can handle it).

    One of my dearest friends (who is possibly a fellow ENFP) says she had 3 sexual partners in her life and only 1 was married to her (that didn't work out for completely different reasons). She says she regrets having sex with the 2 other men after her marriage ended because it wasn't special. The breakups with them were a lot worse and the sex wasn't worth all the heartache. She and I are very similar so I don't want to ruin a relationship by having sex too early on.

    Plus it's not a big deal. I've met a lot of guys who are also saving themselves for marriage. I would think that jumping into bed too early and having someone use you just for sex is a heck of a lot worse than waiting for marriage and having to work at it to make it more enjoyable. I see as a journey with one other person as opposed to people you'll just regret later on. Plus no contraceptive is 100% effective. I know someone who got pregnant while on the pill.

    And I didn't even bring my religious views into this. This is all practical.

  7. #97
    Secret Sex Freak Hazashin's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DisneyFanGirl View Post
    You know, I am really tired of people who say things like that. Everyone talks about tolerance now but when someone decides to save themselves for marriage, it's suddenly a horrible thing to do (when 50 years ago it was considered right).
    That's because 50 years ago, people were religious nuts. People let religion basically have control over their decisions. Instead of thinking for themselves, they just let their religion tell them what was "right" and what was "wrong". Since we now have more knowledge and insight than ever before, people are now more open-minded and make decisions without the extreme influence of religious views. We can make more informed decisions rather than those based solely on a "moral" issue.

    I'm saving myself because I don't want to get an STD, I don't want to end up with some guy who only wants me for my body, and I definitely don't want to get pregnant before I'm ready to have kids.
    There's no guarantee that you won't get an STD from the guy you're marrying. You can just ask the guys you're with to get a test. And you could always put your (unwanted) kid(s) up for adoption.

    Sorry, I've had a really awful week and I'm snapping at everyone. But I stand by my decision.
    It's fine. I wasn't trying to be rude or mean or anything, I just didn't want you to close your mind off to the possibility of having sex before marriage. I just want you to think about these things.
    MBTI: INFP
    Enneagram: 6w7, phobic
    Tritype: 6-9-2
    Instinctual Variant: Sx/Sp
    Temperament: Pure Supine
    D&D Alignment: Neutral Good
    Political Stance: Solid Liberal
    Religious Views: Atheist

    Fi > Ne > Ti > Fe > Se > Si > Te > Ni

    "Forgiveness means letting go of the past." ~ Gerald Jampolsky
    "I am justice!" ~ Light Yagami, Death Note
    "The choices people make tell you a lot about a person, but the reasons [...] tell you even more." ~ Albus Dumbledore (paraphrased)

    Tatiana ♥

  8. #98
    Certified Sausage Smoker Elfboy's Avatar
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    @DisneyFanGirl
    I don't want to pressure you as it's none of my business or if you want to save yourself for marriage, but why can sex only be special with one person? why does having sex with 2 other guys mean I love my man any less or have less of a special connection with him? personally, I don't even like the idea of closed relationships to begin with? my preference would be
    - 1 intimate partner
    - friends who I have a subtle sexual dynamic with
    - if something turns into sex, that's fine (though I don't think I'd be going out and seeking sex from other people, if we ending up having chemistry and wanting to get to it, I don't see a problem with that)
    ENFP: We put the Fi in Fire
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    Sunburst!
    "You are a gay version of Gambit" Speed Gavroche
    "I wish that I could be affected by any hate, but I can't, cuz I just get affected by the bank" Chamillionaire

  9. #99
    Senior Member UniqueMixture's Avatar
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    From the opposite end of the spectrum I've noticed a lot of Fi types who do choose to wait until they're married to have sex tend to really value the emotional intimacy almost a sense of proprietariness of their partner? To be honest you do save yourself a lot of scars and I've noticed if the relationship lasts there can be a really deep intimate bond between the two that I personally wish I had in my own life. However, I've noticed that many of these types stop growing emotionally/sexually and/or become judgemental because they simply cannot relate to the experience of others

  10. #100
    Let me count the ways Betty Blue's Avatar
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    Just from the limited amount of people i have met and talked with i'd go with (in general)
    ESFP
    ESTP
    ENTP
    ENFP
    In that order
    So umm...lot of EP's there.
    "We knew he was someone who had a tragic flaw, that's where his greatness came from"

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