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Thread: sp/sx vs sx/sp

  1. #11
    Senior Member the state i am in's Avatar
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    expectations, yes. my intj s.o. would say, "he wants what he wants when he wants it." this is our only source of conflict. she is a 6w7 sp/so (i think) and is much more diffuse. i am the picky and difficult and fickle one, who demands things sometimes before considering the implications. i'm sure there are many examples but attention would be one. she would never call me an especially tolerant person, tho i've gotten way less judgy than i used to be. it has required effort and attention tho. i feel like i have always been willing to say no pretty fucking quickly. my poor infp 9w1 mom sometimes is so nervous on holidays bc it will not exactly be the way the state i am in wants it (the thanksgiving dinner, i mean).

  2. #12
    4x9 cascadeco's Avatar
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    Hmm...I don't know that I am particularly demanding in that sense. I do think years and years ago I was much less tolerant, and was called on it a few times, and since then have probably gone too far in the other direction...over time any tendency like that has become more muted such that it isn't a kneejerk reaction like it might have been, or I've covered it up with so many other layers/thought processes that it often never sees the light of day.

    But, ya know, I don't know that I'm in a position to be super objective about this; this would be something my parents or brother would have a much more interesting handle on. And it's been so long since I've been in a relationship that I can't comment on how I end up being after many months of intimacy, once most of my layers have been removed.
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  3. #13
    Senior Member the state i am in's Avatar
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    my unwieldiness was the primary conflict for my family growing up. i would not bend. close friends were infp 9w1s who would smooth over my "ascerbicness" (more than one friend described me as this). and i would have pretty hard do not cross this line moments where i would say something outrageous about what was a deserved judgment on someone based on a single situation or response.

    yet i would not be particularly aggressive or assertive, i would just completely reject and withdraw. or if in the context of a discussion with people i knew i could be quite arrogant. i've learned to play much better with others, but i still have more of a desire to be in front of everyone else than to slink into the background. yet my interaction style requires more slinking and observing before i can take charge. but i do want to take charge (i think). i still want to assert myself and outdo everyone else. or be deeply/profoundly recognized by others.

    i feel like that says much. at times i just really have a strong desire to be recognized with great energy, attention, focus. this is a very significant aspect to my personality, one that i consistently want/strive for/chase.

  4. #14
    4x9 cascadeco's Avatar
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    Thanks for the additional info. In that case, I don't think it was a notable trait of mine growing up, as I don't recall it being brought to my attention by my family, and I didn't really have close friends to speak of. I was much more hermit-like growing up (although not happy about my state), pretty much 100% introverted...I didn't have the social/emotional skills to know how to get really close to people until my early to mid 20's, and tended towards conflict-avoidance rather than pushing my own cause.

    I think you're certainly more sx-leaning than myself, as I don't think I have as strong a desire to push myself forward and be out front, but in general I still relate to quite a lot of what you write. Like I said in my first post though, I'm *definitely* not the one to make any sort of call on sx vs. sp. Agree w/ you though when you say that this aspect of yours probably says a lot, esp. since you view it as a significant aspect of who you are.
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  5. #15
    Senior Member the state i am in's Avatar
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    i grew up in social situations bc i always played team sports. i always had a few friends throughout school. it wasn't until high school where i became a recluse for a while (tho still while continuing to play team sports). i just didn't like many of the kids i saw day-in-day-out bc it was all sf and especially st kids. and mostly e. with that said i had a close friend throughout the entire process and could always make a few friends during school. eventually i settled into a pretty good N group of kids, altho still feeling like an outsider somewhat/ d i s t a n c e.

    did you constantly have a crush on at least one person pretty much your entire life?

  6. #16
    4x9 cascadeco's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by the state i am in View Post
    i

    did you constantly have a crush on at least one person pretty much your entire life?
    I had crushes now and then while in school, but I don't view them as a defining element of my life. Post-school, it hasn't been often at all that I've run into someone I've really been drawn to, so my crushes/loves have been very few and far between. However when I actually DO meet someone I fall for, I am so happy - as it's something I'm always seeking and hoping for. But, that last piece obviously isn't type-related...that would be something that applies to pretty much everyone.
    "...On and on and on and on he strode, far out over the sands, singing wildly to the sea, crying to greet the advent of the life that had cried to him." - James Joyce

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  7. #17
    Revelation Lauren Ashley's Avatar
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    I'm sx/sp. I don't know how that compares with sp/sx, but I've seen it summed up as "One-Man Storm" which fits nicely, I think.

    ETA: Would looking at which you are first (either sx or sp), help? For me sp takes a backseat to all things sx.

  8. #18
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    I bolded the stuff I strongly identified with, struck the stuff I didn't identify with at all, the rest mostly related to me:

    Quote Originally Posted by BlackCat View Post
    sx/sp

    This is perhaps the most internally conflicted of the stackings, and potentially the most inconsistent in behavior. This may occur as a blockage of the sexual instinct which can be redirected as a more generally brooding and troubled personality. They may isolate themselves for long periods of time before reemerging. They live according to a strictly personal outlook and are not particularly concerned with the approval of others outside of their immediate concern. They seem to be searching for something, the missing piece. If they find a soulmate they will unite without fanfare, forming a secret bond, dealing with formalities as an afterthought. Powerful sexual impulses facing inner resistance may manifest symbolically in the psyche, giving way to soulful interpretations of the unconscious. Under periods of stress severe sexual tensions may manifest as erratic, impulsively destructive behavior. Can seem restless, torn between the comforts of a stable home life and the urge to wander. May be prone to self-medicating.



    sp/sx

    These people often have an earthy, mysterious quality to them. They are quietly intense, but to others may seem oblivious to the greater social world around them, instead favoring personal interests. They are slow to commit, but once they do it is with an attitude of life commitment, to the establishment of an impermeable bond. Others can be taken aback by how suddenly and completely this type can lock into them, and by the depth of understanding of the other's condition. They attach to others at an organic, root level, in contrast to the other subvariant's surface formality. Somewhat hesitant to enter new relationships, they instead preserve the select few enduring bonds they carefully form along the way. The sanctuary of home is of paramount concern, and this type takes particular delight in decorating their spaces to reflect their cherished sense of taste and depth. Depth and discrimination characterize this stacking.
    I guess sx/sp? I always thought sp/sx.

  9. #19
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    it's good to see all the INFJ's participating, since I think sx/sp crosses over various types rather than being confined to one (i.e., an sx/sp ESTP, if one exist, would probably expressed differently than INFJ... and note that the systems are all sort of overlapping so perhaps that description sounds a little non-sensical from a purely theoretical standpoint but is still probably useful in some way in what it suggests).

    For reference, for a large part of my life I was sp and sx but i wasn't sure if sp came first.... because I was very very withdrawn and liked my autonomy, yet I had a lot of social pressures conspiring on me to keep me wanting to withdraw and put up the walls. Once I dealt with all that garbage, it was pretty easy to see that the sx aspect was easily the strongest and explained a lot of the inner turmoil I had all those years... the drive to connect intimately and deeply and quickly with people of "life essence" but the fearful self-protective behaviors constantly making me feel like i should be backpedaling. Still, the sx was obviously the focal drive, something I am very aware of now.

    most of your comments were more of INFJ flavor and I couldn't totally identify, but this part I did:

    i feel more sx in that i have always been EXTREMELY demanding of others, especially when in relationships. is this more sx/sp? what are your experiences with this?
    I am not at ALL demanding in certain areas -- I am very open to people being who they are in terms of personality and I do not try to control them or boss them around or anything such as that -- where my demandingness comes out is that I expect people to always want to become better, be curious, and learn (in general).... I do not really well suffer self-determined fools, I will pull back from them after losing my patience.

    And the same goes for people who do not match my sx "go for depth" style. If after I've put myself out there and I sense someone will not reciprocate, I just stop. I don't like "casual" relationships very much, although I tolerate them as realistic and necessary. I won't tell people what to do, they have to make up their own minds; but I know that i want to know them, and know them deeply and honestly, and that I'm 'safe' and am accepting of who they are and convey that by usually putting myself out there first; and if they are going to cover up, lie, or put walls up to impede depth, I bail very quickly. In these two areas (desire for increasing knowledge/maturity, and willingness to be open/intimate), I am tacitly demanding.


    sx/sp

    This is perhaps the most internally conflicted of the stackings, and potentially the most inconsistent in behavior. This may occur as a blockage of the sexual instinct which can be redirected as a more generally brooding and troubled personality. They may isolate themselves for long periods of time before reemerging.
    They live according to a strictly personal outlook and are not particularly concerned with the approval of others outside of their immediate concern. They seem to be searching for something, the missing piece. If they find a soulmate they will unite without fanfare, forming a secret bond, dealing with formalities as an afterthought. Powerful sexual impulses facing inner resistance may manifest symbolically in the psyche, giving way to soulful interpretations of the unconscious. Under periods of stress severe sexual tensions may manifest as erratic, impulsively destructive behavior. Can seem restless, torn between the comforts of a stable home life and the urge to wander. May be prone to self-medicating.

    Motivation: to know the heart, reconcile inner conflict, form a secure union.


    Familiar roles: the devotee, the seeker, the wanderer
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  10. #20
    triple nerd score poppy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BlackCat View Post
    First off, check out these-

    sx/sp

    This is perhaps the most internally conflicted of the stackings, and potentially the most inconsistent in behavior. This may occur as a blockage of the sexual instinct which can be redirected as a more generally brooding and troubled personality. They may isolate themselves for long periods of time before reemerging. They live according to a strictly personal outlook and are not particularly concerned with the approval of others outside of their immediate concern. They seem to be searching for something, the missing piece. If they find a soulmate they will unite without fanfare, forming a secret bond, dealing with formalities as an afterthought. Powerful sexual impulses facing inner resistance may manifest symbolically in the psyche, giving way to soulful interpretations of the unconscious. Under periods of stress severe sexual tensions may manifest as erratic, impulsively destructive behavior. Can seem restless, torn between the comforts of a stable home life and the urge to wander. May be prone to self-medicating.

    Motivation: to know the heart, reconcile inner conflict, form a secure union.

    Familiar roles: the devotee, the seeker, the wanderer

    Examples of sx/sp: Prince, Carl Jung, Johnny Depp, Ozzy Osbourne, Johnny Cash, Joan Crawford, Princess Di, Marilyn Monroe, Janis Joplin, Frollo from "Hunchback of Notre Dame"

    -----------------------

    sp/sx

    These people often have an earthy, mysterious quality to them. They are quietly intense, but to others may seem oblivious to the greater social world around them, instead favoring personal interests. They are slow to commit, but once they do it is with an attitude of life commitment, to the establishment of an impermeable bond. Others can be taken aback by how suddenly and completely this type can lock into them, and by the depth of understanding of the other's condition. They attach to others at an organic, root level, in contrast to the other subvariant's surface formality. Somewhat hesitant to enter new relationships, they instead preserve the select few enduring bonds they carefully form along the way. The sanctuary of home is of paramount concern, and this type takes particular delight in decorating their spaces to reflect their cherished sense of taste and depth. Depth and discrimination characterize this stacking.

    Motivation: to live in a secure, comfortable environment where they can pursue their private interests in depth.

    Familiar Roles: the mate, the mystic, the quiet supporter.

    Examples: George Harrison, Jackie Onassis, Eric Clapton, Emily Dickinson
    Ohh, good descriptions, thanks for posting those BC. I can relate to both, but I think I favor sp/sx.
    "There's no need to be embarrassed about it, Mr. Spock. It happens to the birds and the bees!"

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