expectations, yes. my intj s.o. would say, "he wants what he wants when he wants it." this is our only source of conflict. she is a 6w7 sp/so (i think) and is much more diffuse. i am the picky and difficult and fickle one, who demands things sometimes before considering the implications. i'm sure there are many examples but attention would be one. she would never call me an especially tolerant person, tho i've gotten way less judgy than i used to be. it has required effort and attention tho. i feel like i have always been willing to say no pretty fucking quickly. my poor infp 9w1 mom sometimes is so nervous on holidays bc it will not exactly be the way the state i am in wants it (the thanksgiving dinner, i mean).