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Easily Disturbed By Things Going Wrong...is this Fi? or a J trait?

Thalassa

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I've noticed that if I plan to do something special and out of the ordinary, if a number of things go wrong it exhausts me and marrs my experience. As a younger woman I was very open to random, new experiences and was quite adventurous, more so than some people I know. I feel very restricted by schedules, and am messy and disorganized though not "dirty."

I am just wondering if the fact that I am bothered so much by a cluster of little things going wrong - to the point that it makes me very tired and upset -is because of my Fi, because I'm actually an Introvert even though I'm quite talkative and expressive, or if these are J traits. I thought P people were more "go with the flow"...and it seemed like I was more so when I was younger. Still, even when I was younger I always had to have my personal space and my own room to retreat to.

Thoughts? I wouldn't post it if it wasn't something that I have noticed repeatedly about myself...it almost appears that it takes excessive energy to do things out of my normal schedule, or that I'm too sensitive to things going wrong.
 

BlackCat

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I think that anybody would be bothered by a lot of little things going wrong. It pisses me off when I actually dedicate myself to something, and then something goes wrong and I can't do that.
 

Thalassa

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I think that anybody would be bothered by a lot of little things going wrong. It pisses me off when I actually dedicate myself to something, and then something goes wrong and I can't do that.

Well, for example, about two months ago I took a short "mini-vacation" and on the way there my flight was delayed, I didn't eat enough so my blood sugar dropped, and it made me very tired and cranky even after I had eaten, and even though I enjoyed the latter half of my little trip, when I got home I was so tired I had to get extra sleep.

Then last night I went to a concert, we had to wait 45 minutes for our food at the restaurant we ate at before hand, so we had to run to the concert hall in limited time, and our seats were "nosebleed seats" and it seriously affected my ability to enjoy the concert. I was so tired when I got home I just wanted to fall into bed. I'd like to see the Trans-Siberian Orchestra again, just under different cirumstances.

Then again, it almost makes me feel like planning trips and evenings out are more of a pain in the ass than it's worth...have I just been having bad luck recently, or is this just something about my personality that I'm extremely sensitive and tire easily, is what I'm wondering.
 

Nonsensical

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I am the same EXACT way, Marmalade. Exact, seriously.
 

OrangeAppled

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INFPs are perfectionists, well NFs are in general. We can get frustrated/disappointed rather easily because nothing lives up to our ideals.

Personally, the simple fact that it does take so much energy for me to do/plan something means that I have high expectations for the outcome. Plus, activity is draining for me...anything outside of my head is tiring. Sometimes it's tiring in a fun way, but still tiring.

This could also be Si coming out in you....you're recalling a past bad experience that is presenting you from a new, but similar one. This can be protective or inhibiting, depending on how much control you give it. Ideally, it does anchor Ne in a positive way.

And yes, I am one of those who thinks you're probably INFP :tongue:

Edit: This is also why I dislike too much planning. The less energy spent planning, the less bad I feel if it doesn't go perfectly. Over-planning can actually ruin things for me.
 

teslashock

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I think feeling cranky and ill-tempered about things going wrong is a function of Ne doms/Si inferiors in general, especially when it comes to our creative endeavors. When I have novel ideas and pursue them, and then something about my novel idea ends up just being a total failure, I feel like I've been pwned by all the people that insist I stop going against the grain. When something goes wrong relating to a new idea, I feel reluctantly forced to accept the fact that maybe the way we do things now really is the best way. That's a really hard notion for us to realize, imho.

I think J types get more upset about things going wrong if it especially hinders their ability to accomplish a certain goal. They feel like barriers are just a waste of their time and prevent them from continuing down a definitive path towards a definitive end product. For J types, barriers either make them give up on a particular process or aggressively tackle the barrier to continue along with the process. I think P types, on the other hand, see roadblocks as a fun challenge, and it doesn't matter to them if it sidetracks their original plan or causes their original plan to cease indefinitely. I really only get upset by "things going wrong" when I feel like I've put forth my best effort to get past the setback and it turns out that I actually don't have the creative improvisation it takes to defeat the barrier. It's like I've lost some kind of ambiguous competition.
 

Thalassa

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INFPs are perfectionists, well NFs are in general. We can get frustrated/disappointed rather easily because nothing lives up to our ideals.

Personally, the simple fact that it does take so much energy for me to do/plan something means that I have high expectations for the outcome. Plus, activity is draining for me...anything outside of my head is tiring. Sometimes it's tiring in a fun way, but still tiring.

This could also be Si coming out in you....you're recalling a past bad experience that is presenting you from a new, but similar one. This can be protective or inhibiting, depending on how much control you give it. Ideally, it does anchor Ne in a positive way.

And yes, I am one of those who thinks you're probably INFP :tongue:

Edit: This is also why I dislike too much planning. The less energy spent planning, the less bad I feel if it doesn't go perfectly. Over-planning can actually ruin things for me.

I may be an INFP. Maybe that's why I tire easily from lots of stimulation - I'm an introvert. I just began thinking E because I'm so talkative and expressive, and the stereotypes of INFP are so ...quiet.

And, yes, it's partly the planning itself that is making me tired. The expectations and energy drain that come from the planning affect my experience. So that would point toward P, that planning just stresses me out, and I can enjoy things more fully when they aren't as mapped out.
 

BlackCat

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People have been trying to tell you that you're an I for a while marmalade. I'm like you, I'm talkative and I'm expressive. Introversion and extroversion don't have anything to do with that.
 

OrangeAppled

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In what situations are you talkative and expressive? Is it an all-situation, all the time thing? Or do you need some measure of comfort and the right conversational contexts?
 

Thalassa

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In what situations are you talkative and expressive? Is it an all-situation, all the time thing? Or do you need some measure of comfort and the right conversational contexts?

I've always been comfortable talking with close friends and family. When I was a child and teenager I was much more shy around strangers. Now as an adult I am not as shy. I speak out and answer in class discussions a lot, even excessively at times if I'm passionate about the topic. If someone is rude to me I have no problem telling them off.

I get in moods where I talk a lot. But I do need regular alone time. I have to have space. I have an ESFJ friend and an ESFP mother who drive me crazy sometimes because I just want them to be quiet sometimes. But I didn't know if that necessarily made me an I.

I just always read about how quiet INFPs are, and I'm like :huh:

I mean I can be, and if I'm tired or upset I will definitely not want to talk, and want to get away from people. I also hate it when people interrupt me when I'm reading.
 

Thalassa

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People have been trying to tell you that you're an I for a while marmalade. I'm like you, I'm talkative and I'm expressive. Introversion and extroversion don't have anything to do with that.

Really? You're talkative too? I just thought that maybe the E/I thing with me wasn't coming across as clearly on-line.
 

speculative

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I mean I can be, and if I'm tired or upset I will definitely not want to talk, and want to get away from people. I also hate it when people interrupt me when I'm reading.

I'm fairly introverted, and I'm the same way. Regarding the interruption/reading part, I don't read where people could interrupt me, but when I'm at work reading my email, working on a project, etc., it is very jarring to me to be pulled away from that by someone popping by my desk unexpected or the phone ringing. It takes me a few moments to fully return to the "external world."

I do notice when things go wrong. It's the small things that are the worst actually. When it comes to big things, I can chill fairly well.
 

Seymour

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I think INFPs can be plenty chatty in the right contexts. One-on-one or in a small group of friends talking about something we care about... we can talk for hours.

In a large group situation where we don't know people well and it's all surface conversation... then we become observers and start looking for escape before too long. Of course extraversion/introversion is a continuum and very situational, so there's plenty of room for individual variation. Everyone has social contexts in which they are more or less comfortable.

I just wouldn't rule out being introverted just because you love to talk in the right circumstances. In my opinion, Fi leads to a need to connect with others on a deep level. It's just more about depth than extraverted breadth, though.
 

Tamske

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I'm quite patient with little things going wrong.
I get VERY stressed if it's somehow my fault those little things go wrong - due to lacking preparations, probably.

eg. on our wedding - we still laugh about this one:
Priest: "Tamske, take this ring as a symbol..."
Husband: "That's MY text!!"
Tamske: LOL!
 

Unique

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I fall into the group of people who don't even flinch when things start going wrong
 

Unique

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ur so kewl.

Nope... just a little crazy... I end up replaying what happened a million times in my head improving it, probably some kind of defense mechanism

I'd be interested if anyone else tends to do this with bad things that happen
 
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