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  1. #1
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    Default Easily Disturbed By Things Going Wrong...is this Fi? or a J trait?

    I've noticed that if I plan to do something special and out of the ordinary, if a number of things go wrong it exhausts me and marrs my experience. As a younger woman I was very open to random, new experiences and was quite adventurous, more so than some people I know. I feel very restricted by schedules, and am messy and disorganized though not "dirty."

    I am just wondering if the fact that I am bothered so much by a cluster of little things going wrong - to the point that it makes me very tired and upset -is because of my Fi, because I'm actually an Introvert even though I'm quite talkative and expressive, or if these are J traits. I thought P people were more "go with the flow"...and it seemed like I was more so when I was younger. Still, even when I was younger I always had to have my personal space and my own room to retreat to.

    Thoughts? I wouldn't post it if it wasn't something that I have noticed repeatedly about myself...it almost appears that it takes excessive energy to do things out of my normal schedule, or that I'm too sensitive to things going wrong.

  2. #2
    Shaman BlackCat's Avatar
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    I think that anybody would be bothered by a lot of little things going wrong. It pisses me off when I actually dedicate myself to something, and then something goes wrong and I can't do that.
    () 9w8-3w4-7w6 tritype.

    sCueI (primary Inquisition)

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    Quote Originally Posted by BlackCat View Post
    I think that anybody would be bothered by a lot of little things going wrong. It pisses me off when I actually dedicate myself to something, and then something goes wrong and I can't do that.
    Well, for example, about two months ago I took a short "mini-vacation" and on the way there my flight was delayed, I didn't eat enough so my blood sugar dropped, and it made me very tired and cranky even after I had eaten, and even though I enjoyed the latter half of my little trip, when I got home I was so tired I had to get extra sleep.

    Then last night I went to a concert, we had to wait 45 minutes for our food at the restaurant we ate at before hand, so we had to run to the concert hall in limited time, and our seats were "nosebleed seats" and it seriously affected my ability to enjoy the concert. I was so tired when I got home I just wanted to fall into bed. I'd like to see the Trans-Siberian Orchestra again, just under different cirumstances.

    Then again, it almost makes me feel like planning trips and evenings out are more of a pain in the ass than it's worth...have I just been having bad luck recently, or is this just something about my personality that I'm extremely sensitive and tire easily, is what I'm wondering.

  4. #4
    Senior Member Nonsensical's Avatar
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    I am the same EXACT way, Marmalade. Exact, seriously.
    Is it that by its indefiniteness it shadows forth the heartless voids and immensities of the universe, and thus stabs us from behind with the thought of annihilation, when beholding the white depths of the milky way?

  5. #5
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    INFPs are perfectionists, well NFs are in general. We can get frustrated/disappointed rather easily because nothing lives up to our ideals.

    Personally, the simple fact that it does take so much energy for me to do/plan something means that I have high expectations for the outcome. Plus, activity is draining for me...anything outside of my head is tiring. Sometimes it's tiring in a fun way, but still tiring.

    This could also be Si coming out in you....you're recalling a past bad experience that is presenting you from a new, but similar one. This can be protective or inhibiting, depending on how much control you give it. Ideally, it does anchor Ne in a positive way.

    And yes, I am one of those who thinks you're probably INFP

    Edit: This is also why I dislike too much planning. The less energy spent planning, the less bad I feel if it doesn't go perfectly. Over-planning can actually ruin things for me.
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe

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    Geolectric teslashock's Avatar
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    I think feeling cranky and ill-tempered about things going wrong is a function of Ne doms/Si inferiors in general, especially when it comes to our creative endeavors. When I have novel ideas and pursue them, and then something about my novel idea ends up just being a total failure, I feel like I've been pwned by all the people that insist I stop going against the grain. When something goes wrong relating to a new idea, I feel reluctantly forced to accept the fact that maybe the way we do things now really is the best way. That's a really hard notion for us to realize, imho.

    I think J types get more upset about things going wrong if it especially hinders their ability to accomplish a certain goal. They feel like barriers are just a waste of their time and prevent them from continuing down a definitive path towards a definitive end product. For J types, barriers either make them give up on a particular process or aggressively tackle the barrier to continue along with the process. I think P types, on the other hand, see roadblocks as a fun challenge, and it doesn't matter to them if it sidetracks their original plan or causes their original plan to cease indefinitely. I really only get upset by "things going wrong" when I feel like I've put forth my best effort to get past the setback and it turns out that I actually don't have the creative improvisation it takes to defeat the barrier. It's like I've lost some kind of ambiguous competition.

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    Quote Originally Posted by OrangeAppled View Post
    INFPs are perfectionists, well NFs are in general. We can get frustrated/disappointed rather easily because nothing lives up to our ideals.

    Personally, the simple fact that it does take so much energy for me to do/plan something means that I have high expectations for the outcome. Plus, activity is draining for me...anything outside of my head is tiring. Sometimes it's tiring in a fun way, but still tiring.

    This could also be Si coming out in you....you're recalling a past bad experience that is presenting you from a new, but similar one. This can be protective or inhibiting, depending on how much control you give it. Ideally, it does anchor Ne in a positive way.

    And yes, I am one of those who thinks you're probably INFP

    Edit: This is also why I dislike too much planning. The less energy spent planning, the less bad I feel if it doesn't go perfectly. Over-planning can actually ruin things for me.
    I may be an INFP. Maybe that's why I tire easily from lots of stimulation - I'm an introvert. I just began thinking E because I'm so talkative and expressive, and the stereotypes of INFP are so ...quiet.

    And, yes, it's partly the planning itself that is making me tired. The expectations and energy drain that come from the planning affect my experience. So that would point toward P, that planning just stresses me out, and I can enjoy things more fully when they aren't as mapped out.

  8. #8
    Shaman BlackCat's Avatar
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    People have been trying to tell you that you're an I for a while marmalade. I'm like you, I'm talkative and I'm expressive. Introversion and extroversion don't have anything to do with that.
    () 9w8-3w4-7w6 tritype.

    sCueI (primary Inquisition)

  9. #9
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    In what situations are you talkative and expressive? Is it an all-situation, all the time thing? Or do you need some measure of comfort and the right conversational contexts?
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by OrangeAppled View Post
    In what situations are you talkative and expressive? Is it an all-situation, all the time thing? Or do you need some measure of comfort and the right conversational contexts?
    I've always been comfortable talking with close friends and family. When I was a child and teenager I was much more shy around strangers. Now as an adult I am not as shy. I speak out and answer in class discussions a lot, even excessively at times if I'm passionate about the topic. If someone is rude to me I have no problem telling them off.

    I get in moods where I talk a lot. But I do need regular alone time. I have to have space. I have an ESFJ friend and an ESFP mother who drive me crazy sometimes because I just want them to be quiet sometimes. But I didn't know if that necessarily made me an I.

    I just always read about how quiet INFPs are, and I'm like

    I mean I can be, and if I'm tired or upset I will definitely not want to talk, and want to get away from people. I also hate it when people interrupt me when I'm reading.

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