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  1. #1
    Per Ardua Metamorphosis's Avatar
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    Default How were you raised?

    I was watching a video about the cognitive science behind political ideology and started to wonder about something.

    1.) Were you raised by the idea that bad behaviour should be punished and good behaviour should be rewarded...always pushed to excel, succeed, survive, etc.

    or

    2.) Were you raised by the idea that you should try to have as fulfilling of a life as possible and help others to also have this?

    Please think before you answer.

    and put your type if it doesn't show up under your name
    "You will always be fond of me. I represent to you all the sins you never had the courage to commit."

    Reason is, and ought only to be the slave of the passions, and can never pretend to any other office
    than to serve and obey them. - David Hume

  2. #2
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    I think my dad was more the first and my mom was more the second. (Which does make sense in terms of influence, I'm kind of split brained in that sense today.)

  3. #3
    Senior Member niffer's Avatar
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    Method #1. It sounds a lot colder and harsher, but I really believe that it was for my own good, and I would want to teach my children this way. Then again, if I was raised the other way, I wouldn't really care about all the virtues defined by method 1, would I?

    Actually though, by being raised by either method, if you are raised well then the virtues of the other method should just come naturally.
    sparkly sparkly rainbow excretions

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    if you like my avatar, it's because i took it myself! : D

  4. #4
    にゃん runvardh's Avatar
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    Mommy's feelings are all important; one must listen to her, not annoy her, and not cause her image any taint. Failure to do so results in punishment of a nature she determines at the time based on frustration and energy level.
    Dreams are best served manifest and tangible.

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    I accept no responsibility, what so ever, for the fact that I exist; I do, however, accept full responsibility for what I do while I exist.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  5. #5
    On a mission Usehername's Avatar
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    I'm an INTJ.

    From my ISFJ mother, I definitely got option 1. Not super extreme, but definitely far on the gradient with option 1 and option 2.

    From my ENFP dad, I definitely got the extreme of option 2. He is also why I didn't get super-extreme option 1 from my mom.

    My dad said that when he was dating my mom and used to pick her up from my grandparent's house (my grandfather was an ISTJ extremely high ranking in the police force, every cop in the city would know who he was at the time) my grandfather used to say to him, "and what did you accomplish today?" and my dad said he was just downright baffled and had no idea what my grandpa was talking about the first time he asked it. (He asked every time he saw my dad, so he got used to answering the question, but really had no idea what he was even talking about.)
    My dad, the ENFP he was (raised by parents who gave their kids all the space in the world to be themselves) said he felt like asking my grandpa what beauty he found in the world today and had no idea why he would value "accomplishing" something as if he was checking things off his list of "How to Enjoy Life".

    This is where my dad started to recognize that people are really wired different internally. I really value that my dad was super extreme on this, because I think my mom caught on that her military-like household could do with some balance. But she is still programmed like my grandpa's house, so it helps to have the two extremes.
    But it's also very difficult to live in the house with the two of them. The rules change depending on which parent is home and which parent is driving siblings to extra-curriculars and sometimes it gets really tiring trying to figure out what I'm allowed to do and always paying attention to who's in the house with me.
    *You don't have a soul. You are a Soul. You have a body.
    *Faith is the art of holding on to things your reason once accepted, despite your changing moods.
    C.S. Lewis

  6. #6
    not to be trusted miss fortune's Avatar
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    my parents would use the guilt trip aproach whilel I was still in middle school and high school (they had a lot of guilt to inflict- I was pretty bad) but now that I'm older we have a don't ask, don't tell policy going on which means that we have the best relationship that I've had with my parents ever going on! (they never ask about my life fortunatly)

    I appologize for any definite spelling mistakes- just got a break in work and school for the first time in weeks and had about 6 or more long island iced teas!)

  7. #7
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    I don't know what I was, although I was definitely more related to Number 1.

    I was basically punished if I was accused of doing something wrong. My reward was mostly that I was allowed to live...but I was never really rewarded for doing something good, only punished for doing bad. Punishment consisted of, yes, getting locked up in my room. My step-sister at the time was a tattle tailing c*nt with a lot of friends who followed the gossip going on about me. And my father and ex-stepmother believed the bitch.

    I dunno, now that I'm an adult, I feel it's time I turn my father into a basket case. As much as I hate him, I don't tell him that, because he's still reasonably useful.

  8. #8
    Senior Member cafe's Avatar
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    I should be nice, good, polite, and pleasant. I should not raise any contrary opinions. I am an accessory and my presence is tolerated as long as I am a part of the entourage. If I am good, every once in awhile, my mother's attention will shine on me like the sun.

    Grandma was more along the lines of Option 1, with all the be a good girl stuff thrown in. Grandpa was more like my mom.
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
    ~ John Rogers

  9. #9
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    I was raised by my father. He punished bad behavior and dismissed good behavior. When I did see my mother, I had to mother her.

  10. #10
    Protocol Droid Athenian200's Avatar
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    It was kind of hard to explain. I wasn't given any sort of artificial rules. It was like my mother never demanded that I do something, but just told me the consequences, and allowed me to decide if they were acceptable or not. For instance, I was told that if I didn't brush my teeth, my teeth would rot, or if I didn't bathe, I would smell, etc. Most of the time I would make the correct decisions, but if I didn't, the things that happened to me (like realizing how dirty I was) would compel me to make better choices. Also, my mother never made me do homework or go to school, but I had a pretty good awareness of what would happen if I didn't do those things, so I chose to, because I didn't want to end up working as a janitor or living in an alley. Although if for some reason I felt I needed to miss a day, I didn't have to pretend to be sick or anything, she just understood (although I didn't do that very often).

    Basically, she taught me how to make proper decisions, and I decided to do so because I saw the reason behind it. There were no "because I said so" rules.

    Looking back, I don't think that would work with most kids... but for some reason, it worked for me. Don't ask me why, though.

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