I thought I'd jot these thoughts down as the same pattern keeps popping up over and over again in my life. It makes me a little sad, but you sort of get used to this stuff.
I wonder if we ever really understand each other-or if every interaction we have is based on endless misinterrpretation-we assume we understand but we do not.
This is my pattern:
I have many EXTP collegues. I initially interact with then in an Ne heavy mode. This can be very fun, interactive, playful, and thought provoking. They appear very fun and playful as they are often using Tertiary Fe.
As they become more comfortable around me they become more honest-Ti starts to show more. I can handle this as I interact with Te still. However eventually I trust them enough that I let Fi show. Then the friendship falls apart.
They enjoy the delicacy and sweetness of Fi in little bits, little tendrils, they enjoy the silliness and request poetry, but they dont want to deal with the full deal. When I trust them, I let them see my emotional sensitivity and then they retreat.
It is just being honest about why I enjoy my job, why I am frustrated, and being honest about how I feel emotionally. I dont have breakdowns, I follow up on my obligations, I do everything I need to. It is just that any display of emotion-even a pissed email explaining my position, sends them into an Fe retreat.
Do you notice these patterns yourself? Do you ever find yourself being dishonest to your core, knowing that the "friends" you have dont really want you for what you are underneath, but rather for the surface you project?