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Testing T -ness

Would you Keep or Dump (see question in 1st post)

  • I'm female - Dump

    Votes: 9 25.7%
  • I'm female - Keep

    Votes: 4 11.4%
  • I'm Male - Dump

    Votes: 12 34.3%
  • I'm Male - Keep

    Votes: 4 11.4%
  • I'm not playing but I want to see the answer....

    Votes: 6 17.1%

  • Total voters
    35

Nocapszy

no clinkz 'til brooklyn
Joined
Jun 29, 2007
Messages
4,517
MBTI Type
ENTP
i don't understand what this has to do with how T one is.
explain yourself or confess stupidity.
 

INTJMom

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 28, 2007
Messages
5,413
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
5w4
NT's

If you were madly in love with someone, but also knew that there was no longevity in the relationship (for whatever the reason) would you keep going out with them or dump them?
If I was looking for longevity, I would dump.
 

Nocapszy

no clinkz 'til brooklyn
Joined
Jun 29, 2007
Messages
4,517
MBTI Type
ENTP
also, if you're madly in love with someone, it seems like the only way there'd be no longevity is if:
a) they're not in love with you so you'd be the one getting dumped so the question doesn't apply to you
b) you're not really in love with them so the question doesn't apply at all

oops... you ran out of options.
 

Ace_

New member
Joined
Jun 2, 2009
Messages
233
MBTI Type
TNT
If I somehow magically knew that there was no longevity and I looked for longevity in a relationship I'd dump because it's logical. Reason is above my feelings and I don't like to waste time.
 

tinkerbell

New member
Joined
Aug 31, 2008
Messages
3,487
MBTI Type
ENTP
I love that the T's are having trouble getting into this senario because it kind of scream in itself.

Some possible examples (actually true life examples I know NT's have had to deal with in my life)
Say you have been planning to travel to Asha, Austrailia and Europe for 12 months and due to leave in January, the tickets are bought and the itinary routed. You met someone in June and are really getting into them, you are madly in love, or if you don't so love - scary amount of NT's seem not.... are increadibly attracted to them, enjoy interacting with them etc etc... so on an emotional level they are great but you are going to be away for 12 months - Keep or Dump

An alternative is that you really love a person and have been seeing them for over a year, they have to move for work reasons, their ideal job has been offered to them and they are moving to a small town in the middle of nowhere and it would have serious impact on your life if you were to move - you don't want to relocate but still love them.... Keep or Dump?

The bigger picture do you make relationships decisions with your head or heart?
 

Kasper

Diabolical
Joined
May 30, 2008
Messages
11,590
MBTI Type
ENTP
Enneagram
9w8
Instinctual Variant
so/sx
Don't see the alternatives as 'keep' or 'dump' if I'm, whatcha callit... madly in love, or my closest equivalent, if there's concerns over longevity.

Not being able to be with them in the near future does not mean a relationship couldn't work, just may take time and effort. I see no need to 'dump' anyone because of distance (or similar reasons), but I wouldn't suggest I was 'keeping' them either. I'd be clear about my intentions and thoughts and expect the same in response and for as long as that was good and I still considered myself 'in love' then I'd keep working at finding a way to make it happen. If it seemed too hard then it would be because I didn't care enough to overcome difficulties.
 

527468

deleted
Joined
Oct 22, 2008
Messages
1,945
NT's

If you were madly in love with someone, but also knew that there was no longevity in the relationship (for whatever the reason) would you keep going out with them or dump them?

I feel like if I knew there was no longevity in the relationship, then I would not being going out with her in the first place.

That was a joke by the way, but it holds true.
 

paperoceans

Une Femme est une femme
Joined
Aug 24, 2009
Messages
834
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
8w7
Say you have been planning to travel to Asha, Austrailia and Europe for 12 months and due to leave in January, the tickets are bought and the itinary routed. You met someone in June and are really getting into them, you are madly in love, or if you don't so love - scary amount of NT's seem not.... are increadibly attracted to them, enjoy interacting with them etc etc... so on an emotional level they are great but you are going to be away for 12 months
Dump. I'm not going to allow someone to get in the way of my plans, especially since I place personal growth higher than romantic relationships. Plus, I'll be back after 12 months. And if they are seeing someone else when I come back, then it wasn't meant to be in the first place.

An alternative is that you really love a person and have been seeing them for over a year, they have to move for work reasons, their ideal job has been offered to them and they are moving to a small town in the middle of nowhere and it would have serious impact on your life if you were to move - you don't want to relocate but still love them....
Dump. I don't want to sacrifice my dreams and move for someone else. Unless I hate where I am living, then I would come. Otherwise...
 

Little Linguist

Striving for balance
Joined
Jun 23, 2008
Messages
6,880
MBTI Type
xNFP
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
well, like I said, my INSTINCTIVE response is to dump.
Why invest in something doomed to fail? It doesn't make sense to me.

The point I raised here is something I learned within the last two years of my life, though, and I'm forty now. :) ... and I thought it worth mentioning just to challenge the question.

^^^^ My thoughts exactly. Stupid investment.
 

Liminality

New member
Joined
Aug 29, 2009
Messages
217
MBTI Type
ISFx
Enneagram
6w7
If I somehow magically knew that there was no longevity and I looked for longevity in a relationship I'd dump because it's logical. Reason is above my feelings and I don't like to waste time.

*can't compute* Surely that's to do with feelings? And you weigh up how good you're going to feel?
 

Gewitter27

New member
Joined
Jun 19, 2009
Messages
651
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5w4
I'd say that the hurt will be positively proportional to the legnth of time spent with that person, so I'd say dump.
 

Poser

Fe, rusted.
Joined
Jan 22, 2008
Messages
691
MBTI Type
INTP
Does P/J ever come into play, because I doubt I would ever be able to come to a conclusion that there was absolutely no chance of longevity in the relationship?
 

tinkerbell

New member
Joined
Aug 31, 2008
Messages
3,487
MBTI Type
ENTP
Does P/J ever come into play, because I doubt I would ever be able to come to a conclusion that there was absolutely no chance of longevity in the relationship?

To be honest with you its pretty specific to NT/NF's because I suspect the N makes things more idealistic for both.

Your an INTP you love them, they love you - they have to move to hickville to live and work, you know in your bones you wont want to live in hickvill for at least 12 years while you do the things in life you want to do.....

Of course there is a chance of longevity, but hickvill will cost you $150 in travel to get there... you can add to that pile of difficulties.... So you have 12 year commute to see this person before you will be with them
 

Poser

Fe, rusted.
Joined
Jan 22, 2008
Messages
691
MBTI Type
INTP
I know I am being difficult (just like in real life) but I would probably commute for a few years. Then I would be so pissed off about having to make that drive every time that it would start to bleed over into the relationship and we would have a huge fight and then end up breaking up. So I guess that makes my answer - I'm male and dump. But I would drag it out so that it would be the most painful for all parties involved.
 

Poser

Fe, rusted.
Joined
Jan 22, 2008
Messages
691
MBTI Type
INTP
Represent!!! *flashes gang sign

Not sure that is really a man thing though. I swear it is P/J. It would just take a lot for me to leave a relationship. Or come to the conclusion that there was no chance of it working out.
 

tinkerbell

New member
Joined
Aug 31, 2008
Messages
3,487
MBTI Type
ENTP
Represent!!! *flashes gang sign

Not sure that is really a man thing though. I swear it is P/J. It would just take a lot for me to leave a relationship. Or come to the conclusion that there was no chance of it working out.

LOL I was teasing, but yes I think sometime men fall into two camps = pretty brutal, or seriously unable to confront hard truths...

I think INTP's specifically have issues around converting thinking into action. I'm a die hard P type and I can very easily make a decision and implimnet it... but I know INTP's can murder themselves in the sfting information to get to the point of makign a decision... I don't think that is true of all P's
 

LucrativeSid

New member
Joined
Oct 20, 2007
Messages
837
I highly doubt it would be possible for me to have fallen madly in love with the woman in the first place if I knew ahead of time that it wasn't going to work out long-term. However, if I was already to that point and then found out it wasn't going to last, I'd rationalize myself through the fear and keep the gold for as long as I could. The fear of being hurt by our splitting up wouldn't dissuade me much, but I also wouldn't be willing to make huge sacrifices in terms of opportunities in order to continue on with something that I know will end soon. In that case, I'd only cut her out if being with her caused me to give up something else that was very important to me.
 
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