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Testing T -ness

Would you Keep or Dump (see question in 1st post)

  • I'm female - Dump

    Votes: 9 25.7%
  • I'm female - Keep

    Votes: 4 11.4%
  • I'm Male - Dump

    Votes: 12 34.3%
  • I'm Male - Keep

    Votes: 4 11.4%
  • I'm not playing but I want to see the answer....

    Votes: 6 17.1%

  • Total voters
    35

tinkerbell

New member
Joined
Aug 31, 2008
Messages
3,487
MBTI Type
ENTP
NT's

If you were madly in love with someone, but also knew that there was no longevity in the relationship (for whatever the reason) would you keep going out with them or dump them?
 

tinkerbell

New member
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Aug 31, 2008
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ENTP
This poll is for NT's - thought police won't move it back
 

Totenkindly

@.~*virinaĉo*~.@
Joined
Apr 19, 2007
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50,192
MBTI Type
BELF
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Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
Why not keep them as long as it makes sense, then dump them?

(I've learned that just because things can't last forever doesn't mean I can't enjoy them now... although that's not my instinctive approach.)
 

Oaky

Travelling mind
Joined
Jan 15, 2009
Messages
6,180
MBTI Type
INTJ
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5w6
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
I accidentally posted in the other thread about F-ness. :doh:
Anyways I said I would dump them so my future self wouldn't have to worry about it. Regrets suck...
 

tinkerbell

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Why not keep them as long as it makes sense, then dump them?

(I've learned that just because things can't last forever doesn't mean I can't enjoy them now... although that's not my instinctive approach.)

from what I can see NT's don't they dump - which is what I'm trying to measure...

Even at a young age NT's put their head before their hearts from what I've seen of them...

I don't dissagree with the make hay while the sun shines, but I'm not sure if I would ever do it myself :D
 

tinkerbell

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Stupid question : How can I know that there is no longevity ?

Your intenral voice is saying they are not for you long term, or they are moving away or you are moving away, or the 300+ other reasons there is no longevity...

At some point in a relationship unless you commit you mak the decision that person is not for you (or they do), it doens't mean you dislike them or anything just not for you
 

Totenkindly

@.~*virinaĉo*~.@
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well, like I said, my INSTINCTIVE response is to dump.
Why invest in something doomed to fail? It doesn't make sense to me.

The point I raised here is something I learned within the last two years of my life, though, and I'm forty now. :) ... and I thought it worth mentioning just to challenge the question.
 

tinkerbell

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well, like I said, my INSTINCTIVE response is to dump.
Why invest in something doomed to fail? It doesn't make sense to me.

The point I raised here is something I learned within the last two years of my life, though, and I'm forty now. :) ... and I thought it worth mentioning just to challenge the question.

LOL - my point exactly - theoretically one ought to stay so long as it makes you happy - in practice I think NT's think ... this is gonna hurt... and scarper...

I don't dissagree with your point at all - I think NT's however give themselves a hard time about future more so than other combos.... conceptually they may chill out but in reality do they do it? :) Perhaps NT's are more fatalistic than other combos I don't know... But many seem to idealise love to an extent, almost making it into a shrine (although that is probably harsh)...
 

Virtual ghost

Complex paradigm
Joined
Jun 6, 2008
Messages
19,769
Your intenral voice is saying they are not for you long term, or they are moving away or you are moving away, or the 300+ other reasons there is no longevity...

At some point in a relationship unless you commit you mak the decision that person is not for you (or they do), it doens't mean you dislike them or anything just not for you


Well if that person is not really for me then I doubt I would be with that person in the first place. By this I mean that the entire thing would probably collapse even before it comes to something life this.



On the other hand if you are moving away and you know that the person can't come with you that means that you have already dumped the person. (technically speaking)

And if they are going away and you can't come that means you got dumped.
What would mean that there was no "madly in love" factor in the first place.




But I have never been in a relationship so I not in a position to say anything about this actually.
 

Oaky

Travelling mind
Joined
Jan 15, 2009
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^ Yes. INTJs are very picky about a relationship with someone. We would never go into one unless we are sure there won't be any problems in the future.
 

Orangey

Blah
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Jun 26, 2008
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I'd dump because if we can't work off of the assumption of potential longevity, whether that potential is realized or not, then I see no point in continuing. It's like saying, "hmmm, let's see each other until September 22, 2009, at which point I will have to leave and probably never see you again." That's just stupid, and even if I staid until the very last minute with that person, it wouldn't be enjoyable because I wouldn't want to further attach myself (to minimize pain in separation).
 

slant

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Sep 12, 2009
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88
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This is a trick question- madly in love!
Hah!

That's not compatible with my brain's computing system!
 

Asterion

Ruler of the Stars
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May 6, 2009
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Donno how this question works at all. What is the goal of your relationship? what if you don't actually care whether it lasts or not, are we assuming that you are after a long term relationship?

I would have thought the better test would be to say that you have a lover that you don't love anymore, but they madly love you. Dump or Keep?

...But I don't know if that would do it either.
 

Orangey

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Donno how this question works at all. What is the goal of your relationship? what if you don't actually care whether it lasts or not, are we assuming that you are after a long term relationship?

I would have thought the better test would be to say that you have a lover that you don't love anymore, but they madly love you. Dump or Keep?

...But I don't know if that would do it either.

I think the point is to find out whether Ts would decide against their feelings in cases where it is "senseless" to remain in a relationship. So even though you feel exceedingly attached, you don't want to continue the relationship because you know that he/she is going away and there is no long term potential. Long term potential = sensible investment (in this scenario). So yeah, you have to assume that it is your intention to have a long term relationship. If you didn't, then there would be no reason why you'd even need to choose as your partner's imminent departure would cause no problem.
 

LEVINA

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Jul 28, 2009
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Errrm. Well, I put keep because I never look for long term relationships, so it's perfectly fine with me. I probably would be the one asking for no long term actually.

That sounded weird, I mean, probably, most of the time, I don't look for one. I'm way too young to be settled down.
 

Kristiana

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Dec 28, 2007
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326
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INTJ
^ Yes. INTJs are very picky about a relationship with someone. We would never go into one unless we are sure there won't be any problems in the future.

Then I guess you wouldn't ever go into one at all :) Relationships are never guaranteed to be problem-free! I've been married over 4 years, am very happily married, but that doesn't mean it's easy or without difficulties. Such is life... :)

As far as not going into one where you know there are or will be deal-breakers, though, I can see what you mean. I would not have stayed in a relationship when I knew or found out a deal-breaker existed.
 

BlahBlahNounBlah

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If I have nothing to lose by staying, why would I make any decision? If there's likelihood of a relationship with a future if I leave this one, I'd leave. I voted with the assumption that this is what you meant.
 

Grungemouse

Widdles in your cream.
Joined
Feb 5, 2008
Messages
577
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INTP
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5
Keep, but not get heavily invested. Much like raising a pig you know is going to be killed for Sunday lunch.
 
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