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Thread: Being an IxxP

  1. #1
    Senior Member run's Avatar
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    Default Being an IxxP

    I can't stand this anymore. This whole assertiveness thing isn't going well at all. Every single time someone pisses me off I take the submissive side, and I do this because my Fe isn't up to par yet, and using Ti doesn't work, but I'm too pissed to introvert. Too much energy.

    the second I leave the room my Ti comes into play and I realize how fucked up it is to turn a tv on and go in another room for half an hour -- after its been on all day. Actually, that doesn't even matter. You're not watching it. Anyway, what do you do?

    Pe or inferior Je?

  2. #2
    Senior Member VagrantFarce's Avatar
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    I do the same as you. "This isn't worth participating in, I'm gonna find something else to do." Then when I find soemthing to do I just imagine myself getting the upper hand in whatever quarrel it was and silently kick myself a bit.

  3. #3
    Listening Oaky's Avatar
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    Tis the unfortunate thing about being an IxxP not that I know what it's like

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    That chalkboard guy Matthew_Z's Avatar
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    If I didn't like being IxxP, I'm sure I could have convinced myself by now that I'm IxxJ.

    MBTI was not created as a tool to express limitations. There are constant areas for expansion. Every obstacle is an opportunity, if you will. If all you are using MBTI for is to provide an explanation for your perceived shortcomings, is it being used to its maximum utility? I would argue no.

    The solution to your problem lies not within the "weaknesses" that arise due to function order. Everyone has a set of strengths. It's up to you to figure out what those are and how you can use them to your advantage.
    If a deaf INFP falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?

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    Senior Member tinkerbell's Avatar
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    Hey

    "I" is not the same as non assertve... you can work on your assertive skills, have you tried to do anything in that area?

  6. #6
    Ruler of the Stars Asterion's Avatar
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    If you have a look at Evan and all that's new enneagram system, you'll find that it covers assertiveness and all that without ever really mentioning IxxPs (though, usually IxxPs are 5s or 9s, which aren't really assertive types).

    I was walking through marion (a mall here) a while back with a friend, and we were standing, waiting for the crowd to move out of the way. Suddenly this old fucker comes up and bam! hits me with his fucking trolley! I was watching him, and he then goes and does the same thing to my mate!!! FFS!!! WTF was he thinking!?! well, anyway, we both just moved out of the way, I just assumed it was an accident.

    Eventually, you realize that some people just expect you to be passive, without even thinking about it. They'll walk down the path, taking up as much room as they want, and you'll dart around them, it's ridiculous. Next time I go there, I'm probably going to come back with a black eye , because I'll probably be testing this 'get out of the way' attitude, and possibly swearing at some gits that are practicing it...

    It may have a little bit to do with the judging though, making a quick decision, jumping in and assuming that the other person is in the wrong is probably not quite as natural for a perciever. Probably not a significant thing though.
    5 3 9

  7. #7
    Nips away your dignity Fluffywolf's Avatar
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    I used to be like that as well. But since I am in a leadership position and assertiveness is required of me to keep things running well and proper. At least on a reasonable level. I am perfectly capable of outputting that assertiveness. Because I know there is a need for me to do so.

    Before that I too took the submissive side in most situations. Not because I was submissive. But because I just didn't care enough to be assertive. I care now. Assertiveness came easy after that.
    ~Self-depricating Megalomaniacal Superwolf

  8. #8
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Give it time. Sometimes it takes literal years to cultivate assertiveness. If you're not "ready" inside, you won't be able to make the outward shift more than temporarily. You need time for the inside to grow capable of managing the outside, so that your assertiveness is a reflection of the person you have become.

    You can "push" the inner changes some by putting yourself in external situations that force you to be assertive; you just have to do so carefully, in ways that do not utterly exhaust you or demoralize you permanently.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

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