All IxFx girls enjoy being submissive in relationships?

[Lauren Ashley]

I'd have to say I prefer a sense of equality in a relationship, however due to my accomodating nature, some may conclude they've assumed a more overtly dominant role in our relationship. This is all loosely based on appearances, y'know, not the internal dynamic.

The OP can only perceive from outside of the relationship, and appearances are just that.

I'm a rather stubborn person in my relationships, who'll do as I see fit, when I feel it appropriate to do so, and no sooner. Displays of dominant, pressuring behaviors only serve to further solidify my stance.

I'm the same.

 

[Oaky]

I guessed INTP males don't want the responsibilities of the relationship. So as not to destroy their pride in being a male, they choose the equal ground stance from submissive.

 

[Edgar]

This is true though isn't it?

It is.

That's why I'm not really an INTJ.

 

[NewEra]

I doubt this is true. Especially the IxFJs can be pretty dominant when they want to be.

 

[briochick]

I prefer equality within the relationship. I severely resent and defy being told what to do. On the other hand, if you ask me, I'll almost always do it. That's just it, I want a choice. And, I don't see that as dominance. I see dominance as subjegation.

 

[WoodsWoman]

Is dominant the right term? Might initiator fit better? It would to me...

 

[cafe]

I love to please and accommodate, but try to get dominant with me and I become . . . uncooperative. The dynamics within a relationship tend to be so complicated it can be hard to untangle the treads of domination and submission.

 

[Mole]

No one can have an equal relationship with anyone until you become emotionally and financially independent.

Otherwise you are just fooling yourself.

But so many emotionally and financially dependent people want relationships, and of course they say they want - they insist - they demand - equal relationships.

It seems they protest too much.

 

[dynamiteninja]

I feel that submissive has been misunderstood here. Perhaps a better phrase would be 'more inclined to go with the flow' or 'less likely to be the initiator'. All relationships should have equality, that's not what's being asked here.

 

[rainoneventide]

I feel that submissive has been misunderstood here. Perhaps a better phrase would be 'more inclined to go with the flow' or 'less likely to be the initiator'. All relationships should have equality, that's not what's being asked here.

Yeah, I was just about to comment on why anyone would like being a "submissive", because that word makes me think of someone going, "Get me my coffee, bitch!" And the only reason you'd enjoy that is if you're insecure, and even then you're probably just fooling yourself.

Alright, I'm a girl, so let's see... I want to be with someone who's confident and who can be the big strong man while still respecting me as a person and not some girl to do his bidding. If the relationship is founded on true love and respect, then when a person acts as the initiator more often than another, it doesn't mean that they're more domineering and they don't give a shit about their partner's feelings. Dominant & submissive seem to only act as negative labels, basically.

Lol, I think you should re-title your thread. The tl;dr version of my post is

NO, WTF.

 

[cafe]

I feel that submissive has been misunderstood here. Perhaps a better phrase would be 'more inclined to go with the flow' or 'less likely to be the initiator'. All relationships should have equality, that's not what's being asked here.

That's a hard thing to quantify. My husband is a P and more introverted than I am, so I do most of the initiative taking and make a lot of the decisions, but in so doing, I seek his input (a lot of the time he has no preference) and try to do what I can to keep his life as pleasant as possible because he's such a peach.

 

[MonkeyGrass]

Without reading the entire....

MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Oh, HELLS, no.

 

[Jeffster]

It's the ISFPs who cut themselves most I think. They're the emos.

True, I do cut myself a lot. Sometimes I don't even remember how I did it.

 

[Edgar]

True, I do cut myself a lot. Sometimes I don't even remember how I did it.

Its me. I do it when you are sleeping.

...sorry.

 

[cafe]

Its me. I do it when you are sleeping.

...sorry.

Trim your toenails.

 

[OrangeAppled]

No. I'm very independent and have a distaste for any authority. That's the last thing I want in a relationship.

 

[Athenian200]

I don't think anyone is going to say they like being "submissive," since we live in a culture that values independence and assertiveness.

But I will say I prefer passive-aggression to direct aggression. Which is ultimately what the question means anyway. There's no such thing as someone who likes being completely submissive. If they seem to, it's only superficial, and they've actually got more strings to pull behind the scenes. In other words, no one would voluntarily take a submissive role without getting something out of it, which actually means it's not submissive.

For instance, you could say that working for someone else is an act of submission. But you don't see it that way because you get paid. You get the idea? It depends on your perspective. I imagine the same thing happens on an emotional level when one partner appears to be the submissive one. They don't see themselves that way, because they believe they're getting what they want out of it emotionally.

 

[Southern Kross]

I don't think submission appeals to me because I'm independant; I like to do things my way and I'm not good with authoritive people in general. I also agree that relationships should be balanced.

That said, I'm hopelessly disorganized, lacking in initative and quite shy about a dealing with a lot of things. It can be exhausting to always be strong, independent and together. Having someone to take the intiative and take care of me a little is somewhat appealing - just as long as I don't need be his slave or constantly play the role of the meek damsal in distress

 

[FDG]

I don't think that they enjoy, but they tend to be more "nice", let's say, and open to the wises of the partners in comparison to many other types. There's a reason why they are "duals" of ExTx types. But being nicer comes with many benefits that types hardwired to be more assertive do not get. Nobody likes to be told what to do, but IxFx are the most receptive to be asked to do something, and/or to say "let's do the way you like best" when choosing something.

 

[Alwar]

In my experience women in general enjoy submissive play but not actual submission and docility in a sense of "get me a sandwich woman while I ignore you and watch TV." Also, men often confuse female nurturing behavior with servile behavior.