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Give your shot at type parody

Ghost of the dead horse

filling some space
Joined
Sep 7, 2007
Messages
3,553
MBTI Type
ENTJ
Yes. Please do! :devil:

I'll have to let my ideas develop on a drinking night today, I'll write this evening :D

ISTP: Everything I've learned of the opposite sex I've learned from cars and adapted to humans. Say, tuning their crankshaft.
ENTP: my ingeniousity is expanding to handle the problems created by my ingeniousity.

(thinks of Chuck Norris -inspired "ENTJ facts")
 

Gewitter27

New member
Joined
Jun 19, 2009
Messages
651
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5w4
INTP: And that, my friends, is how to produce Nuclear Fusion effectively so we can have limitless clean energy. Now, has anybody seen my pants?
 

VagrantFarce

Active member
Joined
Nov 19, 2008
Messages
1,558
intp: my intellect outweighs my obese, stretchmarked ass

esfp: you should've come out with us last night, you would've at least lost an ear

istj: i'm leaving this note on the fridge as a formal complaint about the lack of adherence to proper note-leaving procedures

enfj: Don't you want me to intrude on every aspect of your life? :cry:

esfj: omg lol u guyz r lik mi bst frnds ^______^

intj: i replaced my brain with 256-bit architecture during an operation long ago

istp: i performed the operation using a spoon and some floss

estj: i funded the operation and have been profting off of it for years behind everyone else's backs
 

onemoretime

Dreaming the life
Joined
Jun 29, 2009
Messages
4,455
MBTI Type
3h50
All of them:

ISFJ: You think I just "forgot" to give you a napkin?
ESFJ: What?!? Don't just "thank" me, do you know how much time and effort I put in to making this just right for you? You're so unappreciative and insensitive!
ISTJ: According to section 25, subsection c part i, that tire is 33 millimeters too far to the left. That needs to be fixed.
ESTJ: Established procedure. Established procedure. Established procedure.

ISFP: ...
ESFP: I'm so in love with you... (45 minutes later after a trip to the grocery store) I'm sorry, but someone else has come into my life - I think she's the one
ISTP: Would I rather play Russian roulette or be in a Mexican Standoff... hmm...
ESTP: Dude, I'm gonna chug like 20 beers tonight and throw up all over myself - fuckin' right. (This all happens and he still takes the hottest chick at the bar home)

INFJ: Why do you people keep following me?
ENFJ: So we'll see you at the church social, right?
INFP: I see that bird and am reminded of the cruel suffering of the people in Darfur. When will the West intervene?
ENFP: When will people stop asking me if I'm on drugs all the time?

INTJ: No. Wrong. No. Not true. You clearly don't get it.
ENTJ: Why do it that way? Because it's the way I like it, do you need any other explanation?
INTP: I've never smoked any marijuana in my life. Why does everyone automatically think I'm a stoner?
ENTP: Finally, I've got it! Wait, it was due three days ago? FML
 

Timeless

Playnerd
Joined
Sep 7, 2009
Messages
896
MBTI Type
ENTP
Enneagram
7
ISFP: La, la, la, life is beautiful.
INTJ: You mindless SLAVES!!!
INFJ: They "are" out to get you.
ENTP: The FBI is watching you masturbate.
 

INTPness

New member
Joined
Jan 22, 2009
Messages
2,157
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5w4
ESTJ boss: What are you doing? Lunch doesn't start until 12pm. Get back to work.
subordinate: It's 12:02.
ESTJ boss: We work until I say it's lunch time.
subordinate: Ok cool (starts working again)
ESTJ boss: OK, it's 12:03. Lunch time!

ISTJ: OK, so you're saying that next Thursday you're going to be at the hospital all day, but Friday you'll be home all day? (takes out pocket calendar and begins to jot notes)
friend: Well, it really depends on how things unfold this week. I won't really know until Wednesday night.
ISTJ: (confused beyond all recognition)

ESFP: I'm spending $2,400 to rent a cabin for the whole weekend and 60 people are going to show up. It's going to be so dope.
friend: Why would you spend that kind of money for 2 days short days of pleasure, especially when you have other things you want to do with your money?
ESFP: Cuz it's gonna be dope! You should come.
friend: Nah, that's cool. I don't usually do stuff like that. Have fun though!
ESFP: Dude, if you haven't done something like this before then you don't even know the definition of fun. I guarantee that nothing you've done in your life compares to this.

friend (to INFP): This situation continually causes you grief. You should turn a new leaf and walk away from that situation so that you can find happiness again.
INFP: I know. You're right. You're so right!
friend: So, are you going to do it?
INFP: I dunno.

ENFP (at 11pm): Let's go out tonight!
friend: It's too late!
ENFP: Come on. I'm bored.
friend: Well, maybe you should learn to occupy yourself with other things. I'm going to bed. Goodnight!
ENFP (shocked and about to start crying)
 

Ghost of the dead horse

filling some space
Joined
Sep 7, 2007
Messages
3,553
MBTI Type
ENTJ
ENFP: I use my emancipated gender-free creative powers of the mind to reform the world in intelligent thought, mostly by singing in the parties with a fishbowl on my head.

ENTJ: Did you know how the human social interaction is governed by same principles as warfare? Why, not so? It's worked for me.
 

Gewitter27

New member
Joined
Jun 19, 2009
Messages
651
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5w4
INFP: When it rains, it pours.
INTP: When it rains, thank god for Air Resistance.
INTJ: When it rains, test the PH of the water.
INFJ: When it rains, it wants YOU.
ENTP: When it rains, make turbines and use it to power your newest doohicky.
ENTJ: When it rains, control it.
ENFP: When it rains, go into the rain and sing "Singing in the Rain"
ENFJ: When it rains, organize a family night in.
 

Clonester

New member
Joined
Jul 5, 2009
Messages
480
MBTI Type
ENFP
ENFP (at 11pm): Let's go out tonight!
friend: It's too late!
ENFP: Come on. I'm bored.
friend: Well, maybe you should learn to occupy yourself with other things. I'm going to bed. Goodnight!
ENFP (shocked and about to start crying)

YES! I lol'ed on this one. Problem for other people is they don't know what they're missing. My spontaneous nights out are the best ever.
 

Max

New member
Joined
Jul 13, 2009
Messages
471
MBTI Type
ISTP
Keep in mind, these are very, VERY insulting. I like to have a lot of fun with this. Also, if it's a type I don't know much about, I haven't put it here.

INFP- The Weed Smoker
"All I do is smoke weed. Every day of my life, and I don't give a SHIT!"
Life's pointless, right? May as well give up everything you have for weed and drugs. You'll just feel good all the time, won't you? What could possibly go wrong? You'll never have to worry about anything.

INTP- The Nerd
You may consider yourself unique and different, and yeah, you are in the eyes of the world... if they can even see you. In online communities, you're the majority group! Oh, I'm sorry, you're actually a geek? Guess what- no one cares! And you're always questioning things. Can't you just accept some things the way they are?

INTJ- The Whackjob
Seriously, you've devoted your life to being weird. You frown upon people who conform and the like. You've probably got some schemes lined up to drastically change the world. I don't know what they are, but I hope they fail.

ISTP- The Silent Rebel
You don't care much for people. However, you do care for just about everything else that Earth has given you- plants, animals, inanimate objects, huge risks that'll probably get you killed, etcetera.

ISTJ- The Watcher
You never really do anything beyond what's simple and what you already know. You never say anything unless it's some comment in regard to something miniscule that isn't exactly the way it should be. Sigh...

ENFP- The Wild Animal
"Hahahaha! You can't catch me! Nya-nya-nya-nya-nya! You're no match for my stunning speed and sense of imagination!" You just love to be a nut, and you're especially fascinated by your counterpart, the ISTJ.

ENFJ- The Deceiver
"You're not my friend anymore. I hate you. Good-bye." (walks away) "Naw, I'm kidding!" (giggle)
You really screw up people's lives with your skills of deception, you know that? I wonder if you even care. I mean, what, are you trying to just see how different people react, or are you trying to torture us? Seriously, come on.

ENTP- The Troll
You're seriously the only extroverted type that wishes they were introverted. Honestly, what the hell. Stop trolling forums and leave the rest of us the hell alone.

ENTJ- The Dictator
Being open to all sorts of possibilites and having no toleration of any BS has led you to be the natural dictator type of person. Maybe one day you'll convince the whole world that you're right about everything. Maybe no one will believe you because of how ridiculous everything you say sounds.

ESTP- The Procrastinator
Gotta wake up in the morning? Hit the snooze button. Need to buy an important book to read? Wait until the last minute to do it. Why not use the cheating device for that video game? It just makes life more fun. People love you because you're fun to be around, but good luck trying to have success when you've screwed up your own life so badly.

ESTJ- The Spaz
You just go ballistic when things don't go your way, which is obviously always the correct way. You generally follow laws and expect the same out of others. I mean, you're outgoing, but you just don't know how to be accommodating without being a jerk. Sheesh.
 
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D

Dali

Guest
(call him on Wednesday)

ME: Hey, let's go to X restaurant on Saturday evening. P and A will also be there.
IxTJ pal: Hmm...
ME: It's just a restaurant... you know... I'm not asking you to go to Mombasa...
IxTJ: Evening, you say?
ME: Yeah.
IxTJ: What time, to be exact?
ME: (thinking "fuck knows!") 7-ish. We'll be done by 9-ish.
IxTJ: But the buses that come to my area end at 10.
ME: We'll be done at 9. Exactly.
IxTJ: Hmmm...
ME: Ok, I'll drop you off at home. I'll even pick you up from home.
IxTJ: I'll think about it and tell you tomorrow.
ME: (Thinking: "YOU'RE THE HARDEST EFFING PERSON TO THROW A SURPRISE B/DAY PARTY FOR!!!")
 

Charmed Justice

Nickle Iron Silicone
Joined
Jul 22, 2009
Messages
2,805
MBTI Type
INFJ
ENFP (at 11pm): Let's go out tonight!
friend: It's too late!
ENFP: Come on. I'm bored.
friend: Well, maybe you should learn to occupy yourself with other things. I'm going to bed. Goodnight!
ENFP (shocked and about to start crying)

+1Haha.
 

Ghost of the dead horse

filling some space
Joined
Sep 7, 2007
Messages
3,553
MBTI Type
ENTJ
ENTJ: I'm in control. I'm so in control. I can relax too, would you believe? Doesn't it just spell perfection? Did I tell you how I achieve it by controlling the amount of control I'm controlling?

ESFP: I'm so fun. I have so much fun. I don't know for sure what's fun but it's a good sign if the 10 ESFP around scream about it.

ENFJ: I'm a fan of just the right tv-shows, celebrities and opinion leaders, being a bit one of myself, too. And look whom I know! I don't know what it's all for, but hell, doesn't it just spell p-o-w-e-r?
 

poppy

triple nerd score
Joined
May 30, 2009
Messages
2,215
MBTI Type
intj
Enneagram
5
All of them:
ISFJ: You think I just "forgot" to give you a napkin?

There is no emoticon that can accurately express how hard I laughed at this.

INTJ- The Whackjob
Seriously, you've devoted your life to being weird. You frown upon people who conform and the like. You've probably got some schemes lined up to drastically change the world. I don't know what they are, but I hope they fail.

You'll be the first one I dump into the shark tank!
 

Gewitter27

New member
Joined
Jun 19, 2009
Messages
651
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5w4
INTJ: If you think evil has a limit, you are sorely mistaken.
INTP: Hey hey!!!! I've got another random, useless trivia fact!
ENTJ: You'd be surprised just how under my control you actually are.

ENTP: You'll never believe it. I just discovered a machine that can randomly spout trivia facts!
INTP: I was never told that I was a machine before.
 

Athenian200

Protocol Droid
Joined
Jul 1, 2007
Messages
8,828
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
4w5
ENTP: No, that's not what I mean. You need to understand the principles of -- oh, look a cute little bunny! Anyway, where was I? Oh, right. Two men walk into a bar -- speaking of bars, my friend Dave just passed the bar exam, isn't that great? Anyway, like I was saying, that scene in Monty Python and the Holy Grail just cracked me up. "African or European," brilliant. :rofl1:
 

Gewitter27

New member
Joined
Jun 19, 2009
Messages
651
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5w4
ENTP: No, that's not what I mean. You need to understand the principles of -- oh, look a cute little bunny! Anyway, where was I? Oh, right. Two men walk into a bar -- speaking of bars, my friend Dave just passed the bar exam, isn't that great? Anyway, like I was saying, that scene in Monty Python and the Holy Grail just cracked me up. "African or European," brilliant. :rofl1:

Monty Python's Flying Circus and Monty Python and the Holy Grail are unmatched masterpieces. BTW, I haven't met a single NT who doesn't like Monty Python.
 

Gewitter27

New member
Joined
Jun 19, 2009
Messages
651
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5w4
So the married ones don't like it, huh? I'll have to remember that.

I meant single as in there is no exception to this rule I have found, and I know you are making fun of my wording and incredibly low Fe along with it. It means that if I asked every NT I knew, 100% would give a positive reaction to Monty Python.
 
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