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  1. #1
    Senior Member kathara's Avatar
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    Default Who is the most protective type?

    When it comes to mates, which MBTI type is the most protective? How about jealous?

  2. #2
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    They can all be protective and/or jealous in different ways. What sort of protective and jealous are you looking for?

    Some male types will be more aggressive, some will be more aloof. But the more aggressive ones also can show control issues over the woman in the relationship too. So it's a balancing act. The ones who are more aloof and expect the woman to fend more for herself also tend to give the woman more freedom.

    That being said, ISFP males tend to be very kind and loving, while also rising out of their low-key attitude to defend women they are in a relationship with (they are like soft-spoken knights, in general). But they might be too soft for some.

    What are you looking for?
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  3. #3
    Senior Member substitute's Avatar
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    Yeah I thought the same thing... there're different kinds of protectiveness. Some are pure and sweet, whilst others are controlling and manipulative and not entirely done for the good of the protectee!

    Having said that, if you get an ExTJ on your side, you can walk through life without fear, heheh.
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    Senior Member kathara's Avatar
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    Umm, well the idea is that I was walking home with a guy one evening, and we were attacked by three other guys. And the guy I was with paralysed with fear, and did nothing while the attackers started pulling on my clothes, and so I had to fight them off myself. I came off with a broken nose, and had to have some surgery done to fix it.

    So, I supppose I am looking for a guy that is more inclined to be physically fit /brave cause I really dont want to go through stuff like that again.

    As to being jealous I admit to being so. And I like my men with a touch of jealousy, or else I might appear to be a raving lunatic.

  5. #5
    Senior Member cafe's Avatar
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    I'm protective and would be jealous if my spouse ever gave me reason to be, but by protective I mean that people had darn well better be good to him or face my wrath. His little toenail is worth more to me than any ten idiots that are too stupid to see how much they are his inferiors in every way.

    My husband (INTP) can be protective. If he felt I was in any real danger . . . I wouldn't want to be the person who made him feel that way. Generally, though, he trusts me to take care of myself and I have never seen him show a sign of jealousy in the sixteen years we've know each other.
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
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  6. #6
    Senior Member substitute's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kathara View Post
    Umm, well the idea is that I was walking home with a guy one evening, ....
    Well that's an awful experience, I can well understand you not wanting to repeat it.

    I live in a very rough neighbourhood and although I'm no great fighter and I'm not particularly physically strong, I've managed to escape quite a few controntations unscathed, but every time it's been because I sensed the intent before they got within reach of me, and took the initiative by opening verbal negotiations, so to speak. Every situation has gone from an extremely tense beginning where anything could happen, to ending with them sharing cigarettes with me and we've patted each other on the back like old pals before parting.

    So whilst I couldn't necessarily say which type would be physically able to protect you (maybe ESTP is odds on to have the athletic ability and strength, but that doesn't guaruntee that they have the courage when in the line of fire), I can say that an ENxP would be likely to diffuse most situations from happening in the first place.

    Oh, and incidentally, I'm violently, hideously jealous. I mean really... seriously. I do my best to restrain it and not be possessive, but it's hard... and weird too, cos with friends I'm completely laissez-faire. It's just when romantically involved with someone, I'm quite ENTJ-ish in expecting total, unswerving loyalty. My partner is the sun to me, and at the first sign that I'm not to them, I'm outta there. Which is why it's been a good thing I've been celibate for years and am staying so from henceforth!
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  7. #7
    insert random title here Randomnity's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kathara View Post
    Umm, well the idea is that I was walking home with a guy one evening, and we were attacked by three other guys. And the guy I was with paralysed with fear, and did nothing while the attackers started pulling on my clothes, and so I had to fight them off myself. I came off with a broken nose, and had to have some surgery done to fix it.

    So, I supppose I am looking for a guy that is more inclined to be physically fit /brave cause I really dont want to go through stuff like that again.

    As to being jealous I admit to being so. And I like my men with a touch of jealousy, or else I might appear to be a raving lunatic.
    I think the courage etc you are describing here can be found or lacking in any type. Also, it's hard to predict how even you would react in such a situation, let alone another person. I can imagine how I'd react but in the situation I could react totally differently to what I idealistically predicted.

    My sympathies for your experience. You understand logically that such a thing is unlikely to reoccur, though? And even if you're unfortunate enough to live in a rough neighbourhood, it's probably more reliable to get some sort of self-defense training rather than relying on a male protector.

  8. #8
    Senior Member Lateralus's Avatar
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    In my experience, an individual's protective nature has less to do with type and more to do with things like birth order (I'm not saying type has no effect). It sounds like you're looking for an eldest child, but not an only child. They tend to exhibit most of the traits you've been describing in here and on INTPc.
    "We grow up thinking that beliefs are something to be proud of, but they're really nothing but opinions one refuses to reconsider. Beliefs are easy. The stronger your beliefs are, the less open you are to growth and wisdom, because "strength of belief" is only the intensity with which you resist questioning yourself. As soon as you are proud of a belief, as soon as you think it adds something to who you are, then you've made it a part of your ego."

  9. #9

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    Yeah I agree about the birth order bit. I am the oldest and insanely protective of all of my girl friends. Whether romantic or not. In a group if we are walking like downtown chicago or something I always drop to the back of the group so I can keep an eye on everyone and stuff like that. I am not a fighter but I usually intimidate guys down if my friends at the bar don't like the type of attention they are getting.
    So yeah look for an guy who had a couple of sisters younger than him, I can almost guarantee if he is any kind of loving person that he is very protective and will, probably has, fight for a girls virtue.

  10. #10
    Per Ardua Metamorphosis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lateralus View Post
    In my experience, an individual's protective nature has less to do with type and more to do with things like birth order (I'm not saying type has no effect). It sounds like you're looking for an eldest child, but not an only child. They tend to exhibit most of the traits you've been describing in here and on INTPc.
    I disagree. I'm an only child (basically) and I'm very protective with any female, even if it's just a friend, and I mean that particularly in the physical/walking around at night sense.
    "You will always be fond of me. I represent to you all the sins you never had the courage to commit."

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    than to serve and obey them. - David Hume

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