After a party in the town we were drunk, I was with a friend of mine.. a woman.. and her friend, walking away from the bar. We saw one guy peeing on the sidewalk and made some nasty comments and laughed about it.. once we had turned our backs and walked a while, I heard voice, turned back and I noticed my lady friend had left behind to talk something with the guy. (I was like )
Anyway, the guy (little shorter than me) seemed to want to get even with me.. the lady friend (imho unwisely) had went in between! She stayed between.. I was like OH MY GOD, what the hell is SHE doing? I didn't want to get it any more tense so I stayed where I was and shouted to the man to behave himself. Anyways the guy pushed her to the street, making her glasses break (or so I remember). Now I went in to protect her (not to beat him) .. but some other guy just came (many people were walking on the sideway) and grabbed him.
Later, I've had trouble with the friend to explain that it was not a good idea from her to get in between of us, because I was able to take care of myself (it was evident from our height disparity) whereas she was not able to take care of herself (height disparity, physical fitness). So she's been living in the thought that she tried to protect me, which shouldn't have happened.
I've had real hard time following her trail of thought tho I emphatize for her. She's my best female friend.
What I think of this, is that our choices can affect a lot who is to protect whom and how. It's best to have a clear idea of it and not rush into such "protection scenarios" where the one protecting can't do the job. That's just my idea.
Plus I noticed that understanding that the man had reason to be angry, I was much less willing to defend us physically. I was a bit afraid of him, and I was afraid that he might get hurt if I started to be forceful.
I think I have almost two-side thinking in regards to violence. It's mediator-peaceful-calming down and all out fightfest. I haven't had to resort to violence in my adult life.. so nothing in my life except some brawling as a kid..
I think I know from some people that I can't win them apart from placing a good swift kick in the head, or similar maneuvre.. and I'm afraid both for myself, for the other person and the bad odds against me. With others, I'm afraid of hurting the other party. For some reason I've practiced high, swift and powerful kicks that are good enough as self-defence, altho learning martial arts is not looked upon well in my religion that prides itself by it's peacefulness. I've thought of it as acceptable, can't not to.
I've once been afraid of myself in my adult life in a physical confrontation. I understand that I can't rely on my physical skills enough to get me out of situations. I'll have to run, mediate or hide sometimes.
I think it would be a sick demand in todays society to place such demands on men as to always solve the situations for the weaker party.. some situations are difficult, and men are not expendable. Men can't go and kill themselves whenever there's a woman with a whim.
Puh have I again written a long post?