E or I

[JonJT]

As an introverted thinking type, I usually can easily make the distinction between friend and acquaintance. I could not name more than five people throughout my life that I have considered friends. I am totally unclear why you would consider this person an introverted type. I probably could not name 30 people that I associate with in a year, with the exception of my co-workers.

Maybe he's just less I than you are. I am I and I could name over 400 associates I have made within the last year. Of those people, about 4 of them are actual close friends.

 

[ptgatsby]

As an introverted thinking type, I usually can easily make the distinction between friend and acquaintance. I could not name more than five people throughout my life that I have considered friends. I am totally unclear why you would consider this person an introverted type. I probably could not name 30 people that I associate with in a year, with the exception of my co-workers.

He's not a thinking type... he's at the very opposite end. Funny enough, he probably share the ISFP type with my mom, both of whom appear very E at times, but actually tend to be very I overall.

He considers everyone he knows a friend until given a reason not to... maybe some are closer, but it's not an and/or concept to him.

(One lesson I take away from the E/I stuff is that E <> social. It really has to do with energy, and he spends the majority of his time in small groups and reading... despite his tendency to know and bring people together, which makes him seem very outgoing.)

 

[prplchknz]

I can never imagine having 10 friends at once. I'll make 2 or 3 friends and I am happy. I don't see why I need more, despite people telling me to go meet more people. I don't see why I have someone to talk to, that's all that matters to me.Or it will be good for my people skills, just because I don't like most people doesn't mean I don't have people skills I just rather not deal with them, but will if I have to.

But he seems more E to me, I could be wrong.

 

[ptgatsby]

But he seems more E to me, I could be wrong.

I was reading blink last night and it reminded me of something... In the book, he talks about how strangers were able to make better predictions for three traits based upon looking at their "dorm" - or living space - than their long time friends.

It's very easy to fall into certain stereotypes, in this case his ease of being around people. The trick, however, is walking into his room and having more books than I have... the movies, the computer... Yes, the guy is social, but he doesn't fit into the biological definition of E (positive emotions) and he has some serious recharge time - far more than his E time... and he likes solitary time, or small group time, a whole lot more.

He just likes being around people. Every other E trait isn't present... but I did judge him based upon that. Someone who looked at his life as a whole would not.

I compare it to my mom, who dances three times a week, plays sports at least twice, often more, a week... who is always looking for something to do... and is always out with friends/etc. Same thing applies - if you judge her based upon that, you'd say that she's an E. She's not, however. She hates groups, hates doing anything social that isn't part of what she wants to do. Same as my friend.

I find that SPs can be a bit harder to see because they often have the "do do" attitude.

 

[Totenkindly]

Okay, then... tell us the functional order of an ANFP.

INFP: Fi Ne Si Te
ENFP: Ne Fi Te Si
ANFP: ? ? ? ?

I just don't get it...

Sigh, do I need to explain *everything* to you?
ANFP: If En Is Et

Clear yet?

My middle boy is an ESFP, btw, and his working motto in life seems to have been, "A stranger is just a friend you haven't met." When he was six, he wanted to invite all of his older brother's friends to HIS birthday party (rather than people he already knew better) because he met them that one time and now they were all like his "best friends." [Introvert system shock! :horor:]

 

[prplchknz]

I was reading blink last night and it reminded me of something... In the book, he talks about how strangers were able to make better predictions for three traits based upon looking at their "dorm" - or living space - than their long time friends.

It's very easy to fall into certain stereotypes, in this case his ease of being around people. The trick, however, is walking into his room and having more books than I have... the movies, the computer... Yes, the guy is social, but he doesn't fit into the biological definition of E (positive emotions) and he has some serious recharge time - far more than his E time... and he likes solitary time, or small group time, a whole lot more.

He just likes being around people. Every other E trait isn't present... but I did judge him based upon that. Someone who looked at his life as a whole would not.

I compare it to my mom, who dances three times a week, plays sports at least twice, often more, a week... who is always looking for something to do... and is always out with friends/etc. Same thing applies - if you judge her based upon that, you'd say that she's an E. She's not, however. She hates groups, hates doing anything social that isn't part of what she wants to do. Same as my friend.

I find that SPs can be a bit harder to see because they often have the "do do" attitude.

I still have a lot to learn, but I thought about it after you posted. I never was at a school longer then 4 years and so never made many friends as I was never out going and took me time to make friends but by the time I left I'd have more friends then when I started, so maybe if I had gone to school with the same kids my whole life, I may of had ten friends when I graduated. I never stuck around long enough, and the people I consider friends are probably what most would consider best friends, everyone else is an acquaintance, Someone I hang out with occasionally, or just a person I know. I've had acquaintances refer to me as a friend, maybe I have a strict definition for a friend.

 

[The Unknown Essence]

To the OP, try observing your friend at a large social gathering. If he seems engaged with other people and the atmosphere, then he's an extravert.
Introverts would absolutely hate that environment.

Oh and by the way, in my opinion there is no such thing as an ambivert. An introvert is the antithesis of an extravert. In fact, I actually think the I/E dichotomy is the easiest to work out. It's much easier than T/F or S/N because unlike I/E, those other two dichotomies are about how the mind deals with information. This is not an external process, whereas I/E has external signs than can be analysed.

 

[INTJMom]

To the OP, try observing your friend at a large social gathering. If he seems engaged with other people and the atmosphere, then he's an extravert.
Introverts would absolutely hate that environment.

I know what you're saying and I agree with you generally, but I think "hate" might be too strong of a word. Some folks are less extreme than others, and for them, it's tougher to tell. But you're right, for an I to spend a lot of time doing an E thing like being at a party, you can usually get a lot of clues about their preference.

Oh and by the way, in my opinion there is no such thing as an ambivert. An introvert is the antithesis on an extravert. In fact, I actually think the I/E dichotomy is the easiest to work out. It's much easier than T/F or S/N because unlike I/E, those other two dichotomies are about how the mind deals with information. This is not an external process, whereas I/E has external signs than can be analysed.

I think I agree with you about the ambivert not truly existing in that the psyche must choose one way it prefers. Of course, there are some people who are not extremely E or I and their preference teeters near the middle of the teeter-totter, but still, I was under the impression that it's a law of psychological good health that the person must have a preference which they ultimately use most comfortably.

 

[Paladin]

Hey guys,

Sorry if this doesn't make sense but is it possible to have an avoidant E? Reason I ask is that I tried out the test on personalitypage.com and came up as E. When I go to parties I get a charged feeling/rush but at the same time I'm nervous around people I don't know. I would probably go to every party I was invited to if it wasn't for my nervousness holding me back.

However, if it's a gathering consisting of acquaintances and friends I'm often one of the people in the spotlight and I love it.

I've also read that E's are characterized by having many friends and knowing many people, and I's preferring to have a few close friends. But isn't it possible to have someone that is E simply be picky about whom he calls a friend or who he talks to?

Paul

 

[Ms. M]

I don't think the number of close friends question is enough to determine his E/I status. I have about a dozen people I consider "close friends" as an I.

 

[INTJMom]

Hey guys,

Sorry if this doesn't make sense but is it possible to have an avoidant E? Reason I ask is that I tried out the test on personalitypage.com and came up as E. When I go to parties I get a charged feeling/rush but at the same time I'm nervous around people I don't know. I would probably go to every party I was invited to if it wasn't for my nervousness holding me back.

However, if it's a gathering consisting of acquaintances and friends I'm often one of the people in the spotlight and I love it.

I've also read that E's are characterized by having many friends and knowing many people, and I's preferring to have a few close friends. But isn't it possible to have someone that is E simply be picky about whom he calls a friend or who he talks to?

Paul

That's funny. I was reading along, and I was thinking. He sounds just like my middle child. He's only comfortable around people he knows; otherwise he's kind of shy and uncomfortable. Then I looked at your type.

My son's an ISTP, too!

In answer to your question about being an E, I don't know about that. My husband is an ISTP also. Ultimately, they recharge by being alone. For 10 years, I thought my husband was an E because he's always cracking smart-aleck jokes, making people laugh, and generally being the life of any party, but when it comes to recharging, he spends time alone.

 

[arcticangel02]

I spent several hours with a 23 year old male today.
I told him about the MBTI dimensions, and he was interested in knowing more.
He had trouble deciding if he was E or I.
It seemed like he was half and half.
Then I asked him how many friends he had in high school.
He said, "I had about 10 close friends, and about 30 floaters."
From what I know about MBTI, based on that information, I would say he is mostly E.
Is that a safe assumption, do you think?
I can't imagine an I saying, "I had 10 close friends."
I thought I've read they usually only have a few close friends.
Ten seems like too many.

(I think he's an ENFP, but obviously, I'm not positive.)

Remember also that ENFPs are sometimes labelled 'introverted extroverts'... You mentioned later that "he does tend to think before he speaks, and he's quiet." I find I do that, despite being an E - I'm quiet around people I'm not familiar with... I don't mind talking, and am very rarely uncomfortable around strangers, but when I don't know the people I usually just step back and listen with interest instead.

Then again, it took me a while to decide I was actually an E, not an I.

 

[INTJMom]

Remember also that ENFPs are sometimes labelled 'introverted extroverts'... You mentioned later that "he does tend to think before he speaks, and he's quiet." I find I do that, despite being an E - I'm quiet around people I'm not familiar with... I don't mind talking, and am very rarely uncomfortable around strangers, but when I don't know the people I usually just step back and listen with interest instead.

Then again, it took me a while to decide I was actually an E, not an I.

Thanks for responding.
I was driving him places, and so he was freely talking with me,
but when I would ask a question, he would think about his response first.
I was taught that that is an "I" tendency.

He plays several different instruments, though I don't know how well, because I haven't heard him. That seems like a more broad "E" approach.

In the end, it doesn't really matter.
Type is just to help us understand the ways in which others can be different from ourselves.
I don't need to know whether he is an E or an I, I can still understand him and get along with him just fine.
Knowing he is an NF is probably the most important thing.

 

[quietgirl]

The number of friends to decide an E or I is tough. While I've consistently dated introverts, pretty much ALL of my close platonic friendships have been with extraverts. My best friend is an ENFP & the other 3 girls I keep contact with are 2 confirmed ESFP's and another girl I know is extraverted (probably an ESJ type, but I'm not great at typing others). Therefore, I was constantly exposed to LOTS of people - especially in college. Whenever I was out, I'd be introduced to plenty of people and quite a few people on my college campus knew me - if only through my friends. A friend of mine had said he was surprised that I was an introvert because of the amount of people I would know when we were out at the local college bars. The best answer I could give was that my extremely extraverted friends carried me through a social setting & basically set up my social life for me.

Indicators that I was introverted in a social setting? I can only hold conversations with one to two people at once. I don't flutter around the room like a butterfly, but more stick to one spot and let people come to me. If I do float around the room, it's to have one on one conversations with people I already know or because I'm following around my extraverted friend. I rarely initiate conversations, and never do so with people I do not already know. I need to have a comfort zone with a person before I can get chatty with them. I'm actually not all that uncomfortable in a social setting PROVIDED I know some people there. It's a nightmare for me to be dragged to a party or bar and only know the one person with me. That's when I cannot function well and just want to go home.