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  1. #11
    Senior Member NewEra's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by poki View Post
    The examples was more about being moldable vs take control. Atleast thats how it seemed to me. FPs are moldable with emotions, but TPs are moldable with thought. J types are more take control and are about getting the job done and they will worry about who they stepped on later.
    I think T/F has a lot to do with it. The bolded you're referring to include TJ's, not FJ's. And the OP specifically mentioned the ExTJ type as being controlling and telling it like it is, so he/she was being pretty specific. Also, thinkers tend to put it like it is more than feelers.

  2. #12
    Senior Member NewEra's Avatar
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    By the way, it seems like this thread is more about what types you do and don't 'dislike' and 'respect'.

  3. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by TheChosenOne View Post
    I think T/F has a lot to do with it. The bolded you're referring to include TJ's, not FJ's. And the OP specifically mentioned the ExTJ type as being controlling and telling it like it is, so he/she was being pretty specific. Also, thinkers tend to put it like it is more than feelers.
    But EXFJs can just as easily step all over logic. EXFJs can do to thinkers what EXTJs do to feelers. EXFJs are Fe and Fe can be just as blunt as Te, but focus on ethics and morals.

  4. #14
    Senior Member Yloh's Avatar
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    Yea, "love and hate" aren't the best words to use, but those were the only words I could think of at the time. A better way of putting it is certin people receive positive attention from others in person, but those same people have negative thoughts about them behind their backs. Other people receive negative attention from others in person, but those same people have positive thoughts about them behind their backs.

    Wow, I made a really jumbled up thread. I can have a real problem with putting what is on my mind into words.

    And everybody will have a different oppinion on what types they respect more and dislike more. Yea, it would make sense to have this thread be more about what types do you show positive attention on the outside, negative attention on the outside, respect behind their backs, and dislike behind their backs.

    For me I show more negative attention to ExTJs and Ts in general because of how they just tell you how it is with out considering your feelings. When this happens, I get really defensive and either lash out at them or with draw from them. Behind their backs, I do have a lot of respect for them because they say what needs to be said ending all conflict then and there. These kind of people have a quality that I really try to work on and respect.

    I show a lot of positive attention to xxFPs because they are very kind people in general. My problem with them is how they have a hard time expressing themselves and that can drive me nuts sometimes because I can express myself very easily. I have leaned to respect this characteristic and know they truly care on the inside.

  5. #15
    Senior Member Yloh's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by poki View Post
    But EXFJs can just as easily step all over logic. EXFJs can do to thinkers what EXTJs do to feelers. EXFJs are Fe and Fe can be just as blunt as Te, but focus on ethics and morals.
    You are very right. When someone is being rude or shows anger for what I perceive as a stupid reason, I jump all over that giving negative attention. What I do doesn't make since to thinkers and they show negative attention towards me.

    I believe Fs and Ts respect each other because they have a characteristic that they don't have (If they are willing to admit their flaws). Of course, this can be said with anyone who has a strength where you are weak at.

  6. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by Yloh View Post
    You are very right. When someone is being rude or shows anger for what I perceive as a stupid reason, I jump all over that giving negative attention. What I do doesn't make since to thinkers and they show negative attention towards me.

    I believe Fs and Ts respect each other because they have a characteristic that they don't have (If they are willing to admit their flaws). Of course, this can be said with anyone who has a strength where you are weak at.
    I think EJ types tend to see hate more whether T or F because since they put it all out there others feel like they have to put it out there. For example, P types tend to get frustrated with J types over things that Js complain about but do themselves. You already explained a EJ vs an EJ and how things turn out. So EJ types probably do see the most hate on the outside. My wife says I turn everything around, but when you put it all out there turning it around comes natural to a T type and just frustrates F types.

  7. #17
    Senior Member Wild horses's Avatar
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    My father an ISTJ was hated alot by many people possibly because he was so stubborn and awkward, however, everyone respected him and those that were his friends actually loved him with a love deeper than you see amongst most friends. Not sure if this ancedote counts!?

    Its quite possible that ENFP (Interestingly the ISTJs exact opposite) could be the other way around... not sure though cos I am one and the hate would have to be unbeknown to me
    ... couldn't drag me away

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  8. #18
    Senior Member Saslou's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Yloh View Post
    For me I show more negative attention to ExTJs and Ts in general because of how they just tell you how it is with out considering your feelings. When this happens, I get really defensive and either lash out at them or with draw from them. Behind their backs, I do have a lot of respect for them because they say what needs to be said ending all conflict then and there. These kind of people have a quality that I really try to work on and respect.

    I show a lot of positive attention to xxFPs because they are very kind people in general. My problem with them is how they have a hard time expressing themselves and that can drive me nuts sometimes because I can express myself very easily. I have leaned to respect this characteristic and know they truly care on the inside.
    My 2 cents.
    I enjoy being around F's because they are kind people. I also LOVE being around T's because you get the unedited version of hearing it how it is.

    Going through life and watching what you are saying to people in fear of hurting their feelings, well it is kind of crap sometimes. Because my weakness is not saying it how it is most of the time, i appreciate those who do. They are not trying to hurt my feelings, they are just telling me the truth. How liberating.
    I also have 2 T children, so i am used to real blunt honesty. It is cool.
    “I made you take time to look at what I saw and when you took time to really notice my flower, you hung all your associations with flowers on my flower and you write about my flower as if I think and see what you think and see—and I don't.”
    ― Georgia O'Keeffe

  9. #19
    Junior Member locus8's Avatar
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    Some people have alot of presence during a social situation but when they leave the group they leave a negative impression. Others come across unnoticed but leave a positive impression after they have left.

    Voicing opinions readily and asserting onself may keep others only superficially silent. Most people would prefer not to argue and "spoil" the atmosphere if they dislike someone. If people get irritated internally their feeling will probably stay associated with the memory of the other person after they have left. As such, whatever some people gain from having a strong presence can just as much be taken away from them when they are not present.

  10. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wild horses View Post
    My father an ISTJ was hated alot by many people possibly because he was so stubborn and awkward, however, everyone respected him and those that were his friends actually loved him with a love deeper than you see amongst most friends. Not sure if this ancedote counts!?
    holy shit, you might just have described my ISTJ father as well

    well said

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