ExxJs what's it like to be you?

[Jaguar]

So if I only care for the shape of things I lose my desire to have my ear to the ground and be in step with what the people want and my populism turns into a dictatorship,

In a work scenario, I was no dictator.
Quite the opposite. I was more like a football coach.
All for one and one for all.
Although I did start my Monday morning meetings with: "Welcome to the war room, people."
There was no "I" it was a "we."

I thought you ENFJs were supposed to be team players, or is that just more MBTI bullshit?
Shall we begin calling you Hitler, or what?
Sig Heil!

 

[proteanmix]

In a work scenario, I was no dictator.
Quite the opposite. I was more like a football coach.
All for one and one for all.
Although I did start my Monday morning meetings with: "Welcome to the war room, people."
There was no "I" it was a "we."

I commented recently on Ne-Monster's blog about leadership and what it means to be a leader. I read a lot of stuff on it, I've seen great leadership at work and I've seen abysmal leadership.

My work ethic comes from when I was in retail. The toilet in our store overflowed once and there was sewage and bits of poop all over the floor. It was me, the manager, and one other person closing the store that night. I saw the bathroom first and went to tell my manager and I was absolutely sure that was going to be my last night at work because I knew she was going to ask either me or my coworker to clean that mess and I was going to say I think not. She went in back and didn't come out for 10 minutes or so and then I went back to see what was going on.

She was cleaning the bathroom. I was like "what are you doing? call maintenance!" And she said the bathroom belonged to the company and not the mall so it was our responsibility. After I saw her cleaning up that nastiness anything she asked me to do, I did it. I stayed late for her, came in early, got on my hands and knees, if we weren't going to make out day I would bust my ass trying to make the numbers. She took away the "I" and turned me into a "we" when I saw her cleaning the bathroom. Leading by example means a lot to me.

I thought you ENFJs were supposed to be team players, or is that just more MBTI bullshit?
Shall we begin calling you Hitler, or what?
Sig Heil!

I've always preferred Empress.

I dunno, aside from being a Fe-dom, I don't really do well with the ENFJ or ESFJ description so :spam2:

 

[violet_crown]

I thought you ENFJs were supposed to be team players, or is that just more MBTI bullshit?
Shall we begin calling you Hitler, or what?
Sig Heil!

You're joking, right? Fe-doms are ruthless in ways we would never conceive of.

 

[Saslou]

You're joking, right? Fe-doms are ruthless in ways we would never conceive of.

But only in ways for the better good.

 

[violet_crown]

But only in ways for the better good.

See, everyone says stuff like that before the do things that are truly heinous, yall are the only ones that people still like afterwards. It's mind-boggling.

 

[Jaguar]

You're joking, right? Fe-doms are ruthless in ways we would never conceive of.

Lol. Well Fe frequently shows up at the bottom of my function tests.
But to be frank, if Fe is supposed to support "group harmony,"
then what's with this Fe dictator nonsense?

Is Fe responsible for that back-stabbing behavior women do?
" Oh you look lovely in that new outfit."

Then the woman with the new outfit leaves the room.
Afterwards, all the women stab her in the back by saying she really looked like cow shit.

Is that Fe?

 

[Jaguar]

After I saw her cleaning up that nastiness anything she asked me to do, I did it. I stayed late for her, came in early, got on my hands and knees, if we weren't going to make out day I would bust my ass trying to make the numbers. She took away the "I" and turned me into a "we" when I saw her cleaning the bathroom. Leading by example means a lot to me.

Leading by example is how you get a team of people to reach its goals.
My Dad did it that way as ceo of a large company.
I did it that way, too.
Despite the fact I am unconventional, and my Dad is conventional,
we share a common philosophy about leading.

Born leaders do not really seek out the lead.
Leading comes calling for your ass to serve.

It's a lot like love.
When you go looking for it you never find it.
When you stop looking for it, it finds you.

I've always preferred Empress.

Oh well then, Empress P.M. it is!

 

[Domino]

*pokes Thursday*

Protean - I can relate to the constant call to action. In my head is a steady scrolling of "It's GO Time!" (Seinfeld, anyone?) and I've had to learn to heed it, but not necessarily act on it until I've gotten all the facts, something that's hard for me to do because my decision mechanism is pretty quick to act in spite of me. I've been called a bulldozer too at times, and it's not a great thing, at least to my mind, because I'm not trying to run anyone over.

I think I reflect an ENTJ in my "throw your shoulder into it" mode, but an INFJ in my near crippling levels of empathy and "first do no harm". How can I be a caring bulldozer? Dunno. I can come at something with the force of a sawed-off shotgun, while simultaneously struggling to shoot into the air.

I'm not very flexible either. Within a framework, I can be modifiable, but over all, I have real difficulty shifting on the fly. I've never liked it. I like to have a plan in place with another plan waiting behind it. Granted, I've *had* to do that most of my life to prevent disaster, but I think it's just predating on something already inherent in me. I like to show latitude to others, but as to myself? Not much wiggle room.

Just listen to "Invincible" by Pat Benatar. Kinda sums up what my brain is like.

 

[Domino]

Is that Fe?

No. That's "jerk".

 

[Ghost of the dead horse]

What happens when you confront an obstacle?
Obstacles are to be expected. I come up with ideas how to invent different partial solutions to the matter, while maintaining as much of the big goal as possible. So of course I'm ready to move little things too, but very big goals too, if a big part of some project becomes stopped, and other projects become more beneficial.

What motivates you?
Seeing what I can do, how I can enjoy life, and what kind of things will happen to me when I go after my dreams. I'm hoping to have lot of freedom in my choices, and I'm ready to trade one freedom to another. I like how it works for me, and I'm hoping to make good decisions. Most of all, I want to live life where decisions come easily, I have freedom of decision, willpower to carry through them to a useful extent, and I may experience what kind of consequences will follow. I'm hoping all of that to be sane, workable and enjoyable, and doing that in more complex, more serious issues motivates me.

What calms you?
Seeing that I have been balanced in my rest, relaxation and work, I'm improving, and I may continue to make effortless decisions that will bring me happiness, some kind of success (big or small), and interesting stuff in life. In short, it calms me to see my life works.

 

[violet_crown]

Is Fe responsible for that back-stabbing behavior women do?
" Oh you look lovely in that new outfit."

Then the woman with the new outfit leaves the room.
Afterwards, all the women stab her in the back by saying she really looked like cow shit.

Is that Fe?

Nope. Too crude. I think the best way to articulate the difference is if an Se-dom is a general, Te-doms are dictators, then the Fe-doms are hegemons. It is not so much manipulation by direct application of force (Se) or strategic outmaneuvering/leverage (Te), it is the dominance of the status quo itself. Fe is powerful because it dictates the rules and norms that the rest of us respond to and play by.

So to return to your example, the girl in the dress is wearing a purple dress.

Prior to that point, the Fe-dom female in the group has through various means indicated the inferiority of purple dresses. She has shared anti-purple dress article to the group from Vogue, expressed her belief that people that wear too much purple have delusions of grandeur which she can't stand, poked fun at Angelina Jolie for wearing purple again to a movie premiere ect. And because everyone already thinks that Fe-dom female is cool/down to earth/worldly/ whatever, she's listened to.

Thus, when girl wanders in that whorish, self-involved and ugly purple dress everyone will roll their eyes. She hangs out, then leaves and almost immediately one of the girls she'd just been chit-chatting with turns around and says "What was she thinking wearing that hideous thing?" and the Fe-dom will very charitably turn around and say, "I know, but she's our friend and we shouldn't talk about her like that. It's so catty."

That's Fe.



I'd say we hunt 'em down and burn them like witches if I didn't know it would make my romantic life so hopelessly dull.

 

[Domino]

I suddenly wish to own that purple dress.

 

[proteanmix]

Nope. Too crude. I think the best way to articulate the difference is if an Se-dom is a general, Te-doms are dictators, then the Fe-doms are hegemons. It is not so much manipulation by direct application of force (Se) or strategic outmaneuvering/leverage (Te), it is the dominance of the status quo itself. Fe is powerful because it dictates the rules and norms that the rest of us respond to and play by.

So to return to your example, the girl in the dress is wearing a purple dress...

Oooh, any time I hear hegemony it's closely linked to imperialism, colonialism, fundies, and pygmies.

I suppose that describes the mean girls variety of Fe but let's not turn this into a hate on Fe thread. For interpersonal Fe social rules and conventions are just a framework/system and can be manipulated for whatever purposes good, bad, or neutral.

So yeah, in the mean girls sequence of events I suppose that could happen but in the benevolent and charitable sequence of events that Fe-dom could use the same mechanisms to get a clothing drive going or not be on the haterade and tell her how fierce she looks or in the neutral version the purple is color somewhere between indigo, violet, and blue--but I think that's Te-territory right?

I'd say we hunt 'em down and burn them like witches if I didn't know it would make my romantic life so hopelessly dull.

I tell my friends if they didn't have my drama formatted to fit their screen what would they do? What Would They Do???

 

[Jaguar]

Nope. Too crude. I think the best way to articulate the difference is if an Se-dom is a general, Te-doms are dictators, then the Fe-doms are hegemons. It is not so much manipulation by direct application of force (Se) or strategic outmaneuvering/leverage (Te), it is the dominance of the status quo itself. Fe is powerful because it dictates the rules and norms that the rest of us respond to and play by.

Rules and norms, what are those? They inhibit creativity.
Must this dictator label be continuously slapped on dom Te?
I'm going to lead a revolt against the vernacular.

Claiming Fe doms maintain status quo seems unfair to me.
ENFJ can lead anything they want, should they so desire.
I have no problem believing they can reform situations.
Reform is the opposite of status quo.

If I misunderstood your usage of status quo in this instance,
let me know.

 

[violet_crown]

I suppose that describes the mean girls variety of Fe but let's not turn this into a hate on Fe thread.

For interpersonal Fe social rules and conventions are just a framework/system and can be manipulated for whatever purposes good, bad, or neutral.

So yeah, in the mean girls sequence of events I suppose that could happen but in the benevolent and charitable sequence of events that Fe-dom could use the same mechanisms to get a clothing drive going or not be on the haterade and tell her how fierce she looks or in the neutral version the purple is color somewhere between indigo, violet, and blue--but I think that's Te-territory right?

Course ya'll don't always use your powers for evil any more than any other extroverted dominant type would (or at least so I hear ). I was just using Jaguars example as a jump-off for what Fe-dom would look like in the scenario he had already described.

I tell my friends if they didn't have my drama formatted to fit their screen what would they do? What Would They Do???

I really don't know. You guys have a way of making someone taking a parking space sound like tragedy on par with Chernobyl. Ill put in as a concluding thought that I genuinely enjoy ENFJs as long as they don't catch me up in their bullshit.

Rules and norms, what are those? They inhibit creativity.
Must this dictator label be continuously slapped on dom Te?
I'm going to lead a revolt against the vernacular.

I don't think that dictator is too far out as far as Te is concerned. I mean, we usually do things with the underlying threat of force, because its the most direct way to impose an agenda.

"Why should I do this?"
"Because I'll shoot you if you don't."

Basic, blunt, logically sound, dictatorial. I dunno about you, but diplomacy and shmoozing are strictly acquired skills for me. It took a long time to learn that being an asshole may not be good for the long-term.

Claiming Fe doms maintain status quo seems unfair to me.
ENFJ can lead anything they want, should they so desire.
I have no problem believing they can reform situations.
Reform is the opposite of status quo.

If I misunderstood your usage of status quo in this instance,
let me know.

Sort of. My point was that the power of Fe lies in its ability to manipulate the status quo, which can mean maintaining the existing one as much as it could mean asserting a new one, which is the definition of reform. I think that depending upon how Fe is propped up it could just as likely be revolutionary as it could be conservative. Any situation can become status quo if it is one that is excepted as the norm by most people (see: Germany or Japan WWII, or modern China and N. Korea).

 

[Yloh]

What happens when you confront an obstacle?
What motivates you?
What calms you?

Well I'm sure every EXXJ will have the a very similar approach to these problems, but the XX in the middle will determine the motivations behind these answers. When an obstacle occurs, I make a plan on how to over come that obstacle. An obstacle is a problem and it is my goal to get rid of that problem in any way possible. It could be from ignoring it, confronting it, learning from it, asking for other opinions, or any other productive matter to concur that obstacle so I can move on to the next obstacle. I see EXXJs aggressively approaching ways to get past any obstacles.

Being an NF I focus on inner growth (This can mean a lot of things, but to make things simple just see it as learning). My whole life is really defined about growing and understanding this world. My E helps me go out and experience aspects this world has to offer. My J likes to have conclusions. When obstacles occur in my life, I'm motivated by what I will become because of these obstacle. Seeing myself growing as a person motivates me to confront these obstacles. When I see others going through obstacles, I see what they can become because of that obstacle. If it is an obstacle I've concured before, I aggressive do everything in my power to help others get past their obstacle.

I don't think I can speak for the rest of us EXXJs when it comes to calming us down. What calms me down is talking to others for starters. Exercising helps me keep my mind off anything that is bothering me at the moment. Sleep can work wonders for me.