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  1. #31
    my floof is luxury Wind Up Rex's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jaguar View Post
    Is Fe responsible for that back-stabbing behavior women do?
    " Oh you look lovely in that new outfit."

    Then the woman with the new outfit leaves the room.
    Afterwards, all the women stab her in the back by saying she really looked like cow shit.

    Is that Fe?
    Nope. Too crude. I think the best way to articulate the difference is if an Se-dom is a general, Te-doms are dictators, then the Fe-doms are hegemons. It is not so much manipulation by direct application of force (Se) or strategic outmaneuvering/leverage (Te), it is the dominance of the status quo itself. Fe is powerful because it dictates the rules and norms that the rest of us respond to and play by.

    So to return to your example, the girl in the dress is wearing a purple dress.

    Prior to that point, the Fe-dom female in the group has through various means indicated the inferiority of purple dresses. She has shared anti-purple dress article to the group from Vogue, expressed her belief that people that wear too much purple have delusions of grandeur which she can't stand, poked fun at Angelina Jolie for wearing purple again to a movie premiere ect. And because everyone already thinks that Fe-dom female is cool/down to earth/worldly/ whatever, she's listened to.

    Thus, when girl wanders in that whorish, self-involved and ugly purple dress everyone will roll their eyes. She hangs out, then leaves and almost immediately one of the girls she'd just been chit-chatting with turns around and says "What was she thinking wearing that hideous thing?" and the Fe-dom will very charitably turn around and say, "I know, but she's our friend and we shouldn't talk about her like that. It's so catty."

    That's Fe.



    I'd say we hunt 'em down and burn them like witches if I didn't know it would make my romantic life so hopelessly dull.
    And so long as you haven’t experienced this: to die and so to grow,
    you are only a troubled guest on the dark earth

  2. #32
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    I suddenly wish to own that purple dress.
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
    Neutral Good
    EII-Fi subtype, Ethical/Empath, Delta/Beta
    RLUEI, Choleric/Melancholic
    Inquistive/Limbic
    AIS Holland code
    Researcher: VDI-P
    Dramatic>Sensitive>Serious

  3. #33
    Plumage and Moult proteanmix's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wind-up Rex View Post
    Nope. Too crude. I think the best way to articulate the difference is if an Se-dom is a general, Te-doms are dictators, then the Fe-doms are hegemons. It is not so much manipulation by direct application of force (Se) or strategic outmaneuvering/leverage (Te), it is the dominance of the status quo itself. Fe is powerful because it dictates the rules and norms that the rest of us respond to and play by.

    So to return to your example, the girl in the dress is wearing a purple dress...
    Oooh, any time I hear hegemony it's closely linked to imperialism, colonialism, fundies, and pygmies.

    I suppose that describes the mean girls variety of Fe but let's not turn this into a hate on Fe thread. For interpersonal Fe social rules and conventions are just a framework/system and can be manipulated for whatever purposes good, bad, or neutral.

    So yeah, in the mean girls sequence of events I suppose that could happen but in the benevolent and charitable sequence of events that Fe-dom could use the same mechanisms to get a clothing drive going or not be on the haterade and tell her how fierce she looks or in the neutral version the purple is color somewhere between indigo, violet, and blue--but I think that's Te-territory right?

    Quote Originally Posted by Wind-up Rex View Post
    I'd say we hunt 'em down and burn them like witches if I didn't know it would make my romantic life so hopelessly dull.
    I tell my friends if they didn't have my drama formatted to fit their screen what would they do? What Would They Do???
    Relationships have normal ebbs and flows. They do not automatically get better and better when the participants learn more and more about each other. Instead, the participants have to work through the tensions of the relationship (the dialectic) while they learn and group themselves and a parties in a relationships. At times the relationships is very open and sharing. Other time, one or both parties to the relationship need their space, or have other concerns, and the relationship is less open. The theory posits that these cycles occur throughout the life of the relationship as the persons try to balance their needs for privacy and open relationship.
    Interpersonal Communication Theories and Concepts
    Social Penetration Theory 1
    Social Penetration Theory 2
    Social Penetration Theory 3

  4. #34
    Senior Member Jaguar's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wind-up Rex View Post
    Nope. Too crude. I think the best way to articulate the difference is if an Se-dom is a general, Te-doms are dictators, then the Fe-doms are hegemons. It is not so much manipulation by direct application of force (Se) or strategic outmaneuvering/leverage (Te), it is the dominance of the status quo itself. Fe is powerful because it dictates the rules and norms that the rest of us respond to and play by.
    Rules and norms, what are those? They inhibit creativity.
    Must this dictator label be continuously slapped on dom Te?
    I'm going to lead a revolt against the vernacular.

    Claiming Fe doms maintain status quo seems unfair to me.
    ENFJ can lead anything they want, should they so desire.
    I have no problem believing they can reform situations.
    Reform is the opposite of status quo.

    If I misunderstood your usage of status quo in this instance,
    let me know.

  5. #35
    my floof is luxury Wind Up Rex's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by proteanmix View Post
    I suppose that describes the mean girls variety of Fe but let's not turn this into a hate on Fe thread.

    For interpersonal Fe social rules and conventions are just a framework/system and can be manipulated for whatever purposes good, bad, or neutral.

    So yeah, in the mean girls sequence of events I suppose that could happen but in the benevolent and charitable sequence of events that Fe-dom could use the same mechanisms to get a clothing drive going or not be on the haterade and tell her how fierce she looks or in the neutral version the purple is color somewhere between indigo, violet, and blue--but I think that's Te-territory right?
    Course ya'll don't always use your powers for evil any more than any other extroverted dominant type would (or at least so I hear ). I was just using Jaguars example as a jump-off for what Fe-dom would look like in the scenario he had already described.


    I tell my friends if they didn't have my drama formatted to fit their screen what would they do? What Would They Do???
    I really don't know. You guys have a way of making someone taking a parking space sound like tragedy on par with Chernobyl. Ill put in as a concluding thought that I genuinely enjoy ENFJs as long as they don't catch me up in their bullshit.



    Quote Originally Posted by Jaguar View Post
    Rules and norms, what are those? They inhibit creativity.
    Must this dictator label be continuously slapped on dom Te?
    I'm going to lead a revolt against the vernacular.
    I don't think that dictator is too far out as far as Te is concerned. I mean, we usually do things with the underlying threat of force, because its the most direct way to impose an agenda.

    "Why should I do this?"
    "Because I'll shoot you if you don't."

    Basic, blunt, logically sound, dictatorial. I dunno about you, but diplomacy and shmoozing are strictly acquired skills for me. It took a long time to learn that being an asshole may not be good for the long-term.


    Claiming Fe doms maintain status quo seems unfair to me.
    ENFJ can lead anything they want, should they so desire.
    I have no problem believing they can reform situations.
    Reform is the opposite of status quo.

    If I misunderstood your usage of status quo in this instance,
    let me know.
    Sort of. My point was that the power of Fe lies in its ability to manipulate the status quo, which can mean maintaining the existing one as much as it could mean asserting a new one, which is the definition of reform. I think that depending upon how Fe is propped up it could just as likely be revolutionary as it could be conservative. Any situation can become status quo if it is one that is excepted as the norm by most people (see: Germany or Japan WWII, or modern China and N. Korea).
    And so long as you haven’t experienced this: to die and so to grow,
    you are only a troubled guest on the dark earth

  6. #36
    Senior Member Yloh's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by proteanmix View Post
    What happens when you confront an obstacle?
    What motivates you?
    What calms you?
    Well I'm sure every EXXJ will have the a very similar approach to these problems, but the XX in the middle will determine the motivations behind these answers. When an obstacle occurs, I make a plan on how to over come that obstacle. An obstacle is a problem and it is my goal to get rid of that problem in any way possible. It could be from ignoring it, confronting it, learning from it, asking for other opinions, or any other productive matter to concur that obstacle so I can move on to the next obstacle. I see EXXJs aggressively approaching ways to get past any obstacles.

    Being an NF I focus on inner growth (This can mean a lot of things, but to make things simple just see it as learning). My whole life is really defined about growing and understanding this world. My E helps me go out and experience aspects this world has to offer. My J likes to have conclusions. When obstacles occur in my life, I'm motivated by what I will become because of these obstacle. Seeing myself growing as a person motivates me to confront these obstacles. When I see others going through obstacles, I see what they can become because of that obstacle. If it is an obstacle I've concured before, I aggressive do everything in my power to help others get past their obstacle.

    I don't think I can speak for the rest of us EXXJs when it comes to calming us down. What calms me down is talking to others for starters. Exercising helps me keep my mind off anything that is bothering me at the moment. Sleep can work wonders for me.

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