Feeling

[Metamorphosis]

To my knowledge I haven't made a post about this, yet, but I've been thinking about it for awhile. When I look back on past experiences/situations, I can never recall my emotional state at the time. I think this is what makes it difficult to feel totally comfortable in new social situations. It's like it's my first time every time. (I'm a lot better than I used to be, but you get the idea.) So...my question is...can you recall you felt at a certain time in the past? and...what is your type?

This could also be why I get so restless doing nothing. I just want to kill myself (figuratively) if I don't get out of the house at least a couple of times per day. It's like if I stop going then my mind just goes bland. Always looking for the next high time.

...hopefully someone understands what I'm trying to say here...I know it isn't very clear.

 

[wildcat]

To my knowledge I haven't made a post about this, yet, but I've been thinking about it for awhile. When I look back on past experiences/situations, I can never recall my emotional state at the time. I think this is what makes it difficult to feel totally comfortable in new social situations. It's like it's my first time every time. (I'm a lot better than I used to be, but you get the idea.) So...my question is...can you recall you felt at a certain time in the past? and...what is your type?

This could also be why I get so restless doing nothing. I just want to kill myself (figuratively) if I don't get out of the house at least a couple of times per day. It's like if I stop going then my mind just goes bland. Always looking for the next high time.

...hopefully someone understands what I'm trying to say here...I know it isn't very clear.

I must say this is very strange. Have you seen the doctor? Maybe Ritalin...
You poor fellow.

I do not need Ritalin. You see, I recall everything so clearly.

I got ill in a car in 1952. It was August. I had to throw up seven times in just four hours. It did not feel good. To tell you the truth I felt nausea.

In 1957 I fell ill on a boat. No, it was not a boat, it was larger than a boat but not as large as a ship. All right then, it was a vessel. It was August.
I had to throw up seven times in just a few hours. It did not feel good. To tell you the truth I felt nausea.

In Stockhom, at the top of the Nordiska Kompaniet my brother was about to throw up. He felt nausea. He almost choked in his mayonnaise.
I am sure he did not feel good.

But I have a word of consolation for you.
The next time you are about to throw up think this:

This is awful for now. Yes. But I do not need to live this again in my memories.

 

[Recluse]

When I look back on past experiences/situations, I can never recall my emotional state at the time.

I'm an INTP with a weak Thinker preference.

I relive my state of mind when ruminating on environmental/sensory experiences, such as the awe I felt as a small child craning my neck in a vain attempt to see the top of a gigantic sequoia that I was standing before.

In regards to social situations, I recall having experienced intense emotions and can relive them if I dwell on the occurrence, especially if it was humorous (I may laugh aloud while reminiscing), sad (dropping me into a low mood), or irritating (which can escalate into a confrontational state of mind). I may feel dread--or even panic--at the thought of a repeat if the emotion was unpleasant. I've felt spontaneous tenderness in response to memories of loved ones in which tenderness was expressed. Usually, though, I need to dwell on the memory to summon the emotion.

This is an inconvenience to me, because there's often a delay between when I feel annoyed about a perceived injustice and when I react to it.

I think this is what makes it difficult to feel totally comfortable in new social situations. It's like it's my first time every time.

So you feel like a (social) virgin, huh? I sense a song in the works.

 

[Kiddo]

There is an old Taoist saying...

"People will seldom remember what you said or did but they will always remember how you made them feel."

I thought this was a fairly universal concept but apparently you are an exception to the rule. I vividly remember how I felt when it comes to anything important.

 

[Usehername]

To my knowledge I haven't made a post about this, yet, but I've been thinking about it for awhile. When I look back on past experiences/situations, I can never recall my emotional state at the time. I think this is what makes it difficult to feel totally comfortable in new social situations. It's like it's my first time every time. (I'm a lot better than I used to be, but you get the idea.) So...my question is...can you recall you felt at a certain time in the past? and...what is your type?

This could also be why I get so restless doing nothing. I just want to kill myself (figuratively) if I don't get out of the house at least a couple of times per day. It's like if I stop going then my mind just goes bland. Always looking for the next high time.

...hopefully someone understands what I'm trying to say here...I know it isn't very clear.

I remember that instant tightening in my gut and face flush that comes when I accidentally make myself look like a total idiot. (most of these are from the awkward adolescent years.)
I don't remember anything but stress-feelings. This is why I started journaling. I find it endlessly helpful when I'm trying to understand myself better. I can learn so much more by simply recording things.

 

[Metamorphosis]

I remember that instant tightening in my gut and face flush that comes when I accidentally make myself look like a total idiot. (most of these are from the awkward adolescent years.)
I don't remember anything but stress-feelings. This is why I started journaling. I find it endlessly helpful when I'm trying to understand myself better. I can learn so much more by simply recording things.

Hrm, I can identify with this. I do remember embarassing moments. It's so helpful...

 

[Kiddo]

Hrm, I can identify with this. I do remember embarassing moments. It's so helpful...

Negative emotions are generally much easier to remember than positive ones. It's hard for me to believe that you can't remember feelings of disgust, sadness, anger, and fear.

 

[Metamorphosis]

I'm not saying that I can't recall the feeling of an emotion. I'm saying that I normally don't remember how I felt at a certain time.

 

[Ghost of the dead horse]

Interesting. I do remember my feelings, with great intensity. What I don't remember at such great detail, are the sensory (S) things. Well it's by far my weakest function, so there. There's exceptions tho.

I automatically disregard as many details as possible, thinking that the details will be there waiting for me, should I ever need to see them again. So I memorize details that I must know which I may NOT check again any time I wish. Perhaps you haven't stored the feelings in your memory, if you are unable to remember them?

 

[ygolo]

Hrm, I can identify with this. I do remember embarassing moments. It's so helpful...

Not sure if this is helpful, but...

From Authentic Happiness by Martin E. P. Seligman, Ph.D

There are three ways you can lastingly feel more happiness about your past. The first is intellectual--letting go of an ideology that your past determines your future. The hard determinism that underpins this dogma is empirically barren, and philosophically far from self-evident, and the passivity it engenders is imprisoning. The second and third [voluntary controls] are emotional, and both involve voluntarily changing your memories. Increasing your gratitude about the good things in your past intensifies positive memories, and learning how to forgive past wrongs defuses the bitterness that makes satisfaction impossible.

 

[Natrushka]

I remember that instant tightening in my gut and face flush that comes when I accidentally make myself look like a total idiot. (most of these are from the awkward adolescent years.)
I don't remember anything but stress-feelings. This is why I started journaling. I find it endlessly helpful when I'm trying to understand myself better. I can learn so much more by simply recording things.

My memory for things that have happened to me in the past is pitiful. Almost scary how pitiful. I sat across the table from my mother who made a comment about seeing a musical for the third time and how it wasn't as good as the first time, but better than the second. The second time when I bought them the tickets as an anniversary gift and accompanied them with my then husband. I still don't remember the event. And if I didn't know how well she remembered events I'd think she was making it up.

I do remember important (to me) times / events / feelings, but the smaller things fall by the wayside and always have. I do treasure those memories I've kept.

I also keep a journal / blog / diary (several actually, for different reasons) and when I go back and read entries I'm often amazed to find how much I'd forgotten.

 

[Vortex]

I remember certain intense surges of emotion, but in general, no, I don't think I can really remember what I felt at a particular time, but I'm very good at linking feelings in 'the now' with the knowledge of vague past experiences. I have terrible memory. If I dig around my head for a while I'll remember some fragments and if it's happened in the last five years I might be able to pin some emotions to (the larger sample) of fragments. But chronologically and emotionally it's all jumbled up. One of the reasons I keep journals is to know when the hell something happened.

 

[Totenkindly]

I don't know.

I tend to "objectify" things. So I remember emotions, but more as labels rather than the emotion itself.

For example, when I was twelve (? Is that right? I'm not sure), my father had another fight with my mother after drinking during the Christmas holidays, and blamed my sister and me for it and grabbed his things and said he was leaving and not coming back.

And I remember running to him at the front door as he was leaving and hugging his legs and begging him not to go... and so he stayed.

And... now... my post is changing... because memory is funny.

As I was writing this, the scene seemed to be a photograph, to which I had attached some descriptive labels. I wasn't recalling the memory of the feeling, I was recalling the details of the event and I had also stored a verbal description of my emotions ("upset, afraid," etc.) to it. But see how it was intellectualized -- just like a field to be filled out in a database? It was purely descriptive.

But as I was telling y'all about the event and "relived it" in my head (it was like I was actually walking through it all again), I got very choked up and my eyes felt swollen and I almost actually started crying.

So either the emotion (and a very negative sad one) was stored in there somewhere along with the memory, or I am accessing a general storehouse of emotions that I know is usually attached to traumatic events -- I don't know -- but it was just so odd because it changed the content of my post (!).

Normally I use emotions as descriptors, not as the content of the memory itself. Most of my memories seem bleached that way; I recall emotion as just another factor that helps me put the experience in context.

 

[TenebrousReflection]

I think I posted this as a tangent in another thread, but this seems like a better place to discuss it...

When I try to recall and relive a memory, the feeling part of it is one of the strongest parts. In addition to recalling how something made me feel, I attach "meaning" to the event, as in the "why" it made me feel that way. After that, I usually get a picture of the place it occurred, but its not a photograph, sometimes its in first person, but usually its like a 3d rendered world where I am a floating camera with a limited leash around the place the event took place (if I stray too far, its like walking into a cloudy grey void of nothingness). Now heres the odd parts. The objects in the world will usually be photo-realistic, but sometimes very surreal and have an almost hallucinogenic quality. The only people in the memory are myself and whoever was relative to it. The people sometimes appear as blurry caricatures (for whatever reason, as hard as I try, I cant recall or visualize images of faces yet I might remember the persons hairstyle or even recall them making a facial gesture/reaction if it was important) that are often motionless. Sometimes the people in my memories are more like incorporeal ghosts (I know they are there, and can "feel" their presence but they are either invisible or a spectral outline). And unless something has occurred very recently, I don't recall words (or any sound at all most of the time), just the idea/meaning the conversations had to me. The other odd part (to me) is that there seems to be linkage to seemingly insignificant events that are close in time proximity. For instance, I can think of an event, and usually remember the mundane details of what I was doing before it occurred, but not usually what happened afterward.

When I try to think about it, it seems odd, but when I just do it, it feels completely natural. It feels like reliving the memory, yet clearly there are details missing, and if anything the feeling part is exaggerated and emphasized beyond what it probably was.

On rare occasions, I can recall things that don't have a strong emotion or noteworthy meanign attached to them (I'm assuming they have some meanign to my subconscious tho), and its like watching a home movie (but again with no voice or sound and minimal to no facial data).

 

[snegledmaca]

This is something I always wondered. Why can't I recall past feelings. For example, I remember that my days spend at my village were a living nightmare, nothing to do, manual labor for "fun", almost crying myself to sleep because I wanted to of home and get out of that hell hole. But looking back I feel nothing. Actually remembering the landscape and the scenery it makes me feel serene. The pictures of us working together in the searing sun. Riding on the tractor. To be honest, looking back I almost want to go back to that time and relive it. But I distinctly remember thinking it was a hell on earth. Or for example strong feelings I had, just a year ago, I can't remember. Like once I really bonded with someone and as time went on it became more and more uncomfortable that this person was responding the way they did. As if we were close. I didn't feel anything towards them. I mean, I remember the event, but I see no significance in it. Just some talking. Normally all my memories are devoid of all emotional content. I've noticed that it takes about six months for it loose the "emotional coloring".

 

[Athenian200]

My emotions are kind unusual as well. When I'm dealing with someone, online or otherwise, it's very easy for me to detect and respond to their emotions, and even recall emotional memories of my own. I can also describe and experience my response if I specifically visualize a situation or a person. But if you just ask me to describe my emotions themselves without thinking about a specific person or situation, they seem to be absent. Whenever I try to do so, I come up with something like this:

Anger --- Betrayal (of self/group by other(s))
Guilt --- Betrayal (by yourself of other(s))
Sadness --- Loss (of self/group)
Victory --- Loss (of other(s))
Happiness --- Gain (of self/group)
Jealousy --- Gain (of other(s))
Fear --- Threat (to self/group)
Opportunity/Advantage --- Threat (to other(s))
Trust --- Risk (of self/group for other(s))
Compassion --- Risk (of other(s) for self/group)
Sympathy/Alliance --- Identification of a subset of other(s) with self/group in some way.
Love --- Established reciprocal relationships between Trust, Compassion, and Sympathy/Alliance, resulting in Gain.
Hate --- Established reciprocal relationships between Fear, Anger, and Sadness, resulting in Loss.

It's like in a situation, they feel like more, but looking back, they seem to be remembered as simple response patterns to stimuli. It's really weird...

 

[cascadeco]

I can vividly recall emotions from past experiences, and can relive those experiences as such. It seems I'm always feeling some emotion or another; the tricky part for me can be digging deep enough to figure out WHY I feel a certain way. And, I do that because I want to know more about myself.

I have to make a distinction, though. Although I can relive past emotions/experiences, I can't necessarily relate to them anymore (or, in another handful of experiences...I totally can!). For example, say pain/hurt in a past relationship. I might be able to recall that experience/emotion, and why I felt what I felt, BUT due to time, and my own altered perceptions about people, interactions, how I interact, how I *choose* to interact and perceive the world, thus my overall view of life...I might now see things differently, and in the present, if the exact same scenario replayed, I'd act and feel differently about it. Maybe everyone does this; maybe I'm stating the obvious. And maybe I'm diverging from the point of this thread. ;-) I mean, it's tied to the 'If I only knew then what I know now' theme...I'm just bringing feelings into the picture (which to me, are ones' reactions or perceptions to a stimulus).

I also enjoy remembering and 'reliving' past happy experiences...that's the nostalgia in me. I love it when, for whatever reason, something makes me remember a happy event in my past...it's like I can timewarp myself back onto the deck balcony in Mykonos, Greece, and just feel the sun shining down on me, and I remember the total peace and contentment just sitting there looking out at the water... ...see, there's my nostalgia for you.

But do I remember every detail of my life? Absolutely not. I only remember events that make a lasting impression on me. So, I don't remember day to day, more mundane, details. But I do definitely catalogue emotional trends, and in that way can kind of segment my past into 'chapters' - modes of thinking/feeling/perceiving, I suppose. And I can relive those overall chapters.

 

[GZA]

I can sometimes vidly recall emotions, although sometimes I vividly recall them incorrectly and idealized and I know it. For example, recently I was thinking about the beginning of high school (I'm in grade 11 currently) and I remembered absolutely loving the first semester of grade 9, untill I remembered a period of it where I felt horrible and depressed (although I can't remember why exactly, it was probably nothing anyway, and my mood tends to shift like that a lot). I certainly do remember thinking some things were great (like meeting some friends I hadn't seen for a very long time, plus meeting other people), but I also remember not liking some things, probably something related to my dad getting pissed about my grades (which were not always great, but generally decent at least). I then thought of last year, grade 10, and I also had an idealized view of it, untill I remembered that I didn't like it much either, even if it had it's positive points. The point is I vivdly remembered feelings that weren't neccasarily real.

When remembering other things, I often feel the emotions once again. I often laugh when I think of funny things from the past, or feel very sad when remembering things that hurt me. I can recall remembering some sad times that totally ruined my mood... I remember thinking "I shouldn't have thought about that, I was in a really good mood!".

I sometimes have moments where I essentially relive moments of my life, or soemtimes I feel as if I'm reliving an entire period of time at once (for example, an entire summer). Sometimes I'll just breathe the air and something will remind me of the past in the taste of the air, and I'll have a sudden shocking flash of every idea I had, everything I felt, everything I experienced, and its amazing. Sometimes I breathe the air and it reminds me of an entire season and all the ways it alters my feelings.

 

[Matt22]

Metamorphasis, look up Alexithymia. It's a fascinating disorder* in which people cannot reflect on their emotions.


* Technically not a disorder, though it is often talked about as one. But it may have some advantages. According to Wikipedia, "individuals suffering from alexithymia think in an operative way and may appear to be superadjusted to reality."

 

[TenebrousReflection]

I have to make a distinction, though. Although I can relive past emotions/experiences, I can't necessarily relate to them anymore (or, in another handful of experiences...I totally can!). For example, say pain/hurt in a past relationship. I might be able to recall that experience/emotion, and why I felt what I felt, BUT due to time, and my own altered perceptions about people, interactions, how I interact, how I *choose* to interact and perceive the world, thus my overall view of life...I might now see things differently, and in the present, if the exact same scenario replayed, I'd act and feel differently about it. Maybe everyone does this; maybe I'm stating the obvious. And maybe I'm diverging from the point of this thread. ;-) I mean, it's tied to the 'If I only knew then what I know now' theme...I'm just bringing feelings into the picture (which to me, are ones' reactions or perceptions to a stimulus).

I can relate to that idea. I think it may be knowledge of myself and having a better understanding now than in the past of what whats important to me. I can look back on decisions I made where emotions were a key factor and because of what I know about myself now compared to then, I know I would act very differently (for example not understanding how important something was to me that should have been, and overvaluing things at the time that now would be minor concerns to me). It may seem acurate to say "if I only felt then as I do now", but I believe its my knowledge of myself that affects those feelings.