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View Poll Results: which view of Life you belong to?

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  • ambitious, target/goal-oriented, need priority, try to be the BEST and number 1 success

    13 35.14%
  • tend to be laid-back, relaxed, easy-going, carefree attitude, 'just go with the flow'

    24 64.86%
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Thread: Life: to be taken ambitiously or laid-back?

  1. #1

    Default Life: to be taken ambitiously or laid-back?

    Based from my own observation thorought my life, I can see two "big groups" type of people:

    The first group is, those people who're so motivated, ambitious, set target here & there in quick & fast manner, move fast "ahead of time" , thinking hard to "Be the Best (or number One)" in things that they do, & usually tend to be workalholic, and business-oriented (although not necessarily always motivated in business field. but generally speaking, maybe).

    The second group is, those people who're more laid-back attitude, relax, easy-going, tend to have "why be the Best? why not instead try the BEST to enjoy life, while we're still ALIVE?" , and tend to be more spontaneous than the first-group, not really like to set this target, that target, and prioritize & schedule everything to the little-detailest . the song "Bare Necessities" from animated old-Disney movie Jungle Book suddenly come to mind Song Lyrics: The Jungle Book

    Which group you think you're belong to?
    My pure guess is: I'd guess that many INFPs (my Type) would automatically belong to the 2nd group (like myself) . I even take it one-step further of what could probably 'causing' this attitude-difference: it is the J/P letter in a person..but I could be wrong.

    I personally find myself to often repeatedly asking these questions: why hurry our life? why everything has to be hurried, and planned, & targeted? ..why hurry to 'get married, & have kids' ? (it just adds more troubles, whether in financial, more stress, more bills to pay, etc). Also, why should we try to succeed a la mainstream society's notions? is being "SUCCESFUL" is only identical with chasing those cliche things like: big, lots of money, high title & degrees, etc...while in the process of attaining all of them, we have MORE stress, more sour face, more problems, headache, etc! though we sometimes know that it's NOT according to our talents, or our soul, or the job is not what we like. Why we should become the next hyprocrites , to "keep running and chase that "number-one" title just to satisfy mainstream society or other people's wants & ego"? What's the point of it anyway? Why can't Life just be "Bare Necessities" (like that excellent Jungle Book's song by Baloo the Bear!). So why all the troubles? Why can't people just take life easily, and try the BEST to enjoy what it is, rather than try hard to be the BEST? (we all will eventually die anyway, and those big money, high titles won't accompany us to our grave. rather, it'll be for another person, not for us). why not try hard to appreciate Life as it is, rather than hurriedly pacing everything in Life down to the minutest details, and why burden ourselves with the constant-pressures to become "Number One", while we know that "Life is just not perfect, and we often can't be or have what we want" ?

    Those are the frequent questions that I often have, while I'm working in my numbing factory-setting.
    Unfortunately, those thoughts are what make me often get scorned, secluded, isolated, especially when people around me are of the first-group (ie: workalholics, target/goal-oriented, ambitious people) , but I'm just pretty sure that people in my Type/group is also not few in amount.hehe

    So, which group you think you belong to?
    And what's ur personal reason for that?

  2. #2


    Laid back is my overall attitude, but I do have some perfectionists tendencies in some areas where I'm far from laid back.

  3. #3
    Senior Member Array cafe's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    INFj None


    Okay, this is from memory, but here goes:

    It's just the bare necessities, the simple bare necessities!
    Forget about your worries and your strife!
    It's just the bare necessities -- that's why a bear can rest at ease
    With just the bear necessities of life!

    *checks lyrics* Not perfect, but pretty close. That's one of my top two favorite animated Disney movies. I had a stuffed Baloo when I was a kid, too.

    I'm all about relaxing and playing. The only thing that motivates me to be anything like ambitious is that I want a nice place to play and a few nice things to play with and I want to make sure it doesn't come to an abrupt and unpleasant end. I want to be comfortable, I want my family to be comfortable and I want it to last a long time.

    I did however know early on that I wanted to get married and have children. I found the right guy when I was twenty-one and we got married and had children PDQ. If you know what you want and it all but falls in your lap, why not pick it up?

    As to why . . . I don't know. I guess I'm not wired to feel rewarded by the same things that feel rewarding to the Type As.
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
    ~ John Rogers

  4. #4
    filling some space Array UnitOfPopulation's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2007


    My psychologist friend has evaluated me to be extremely motivated by success. Even if I would play down how much my ambitions drive me.

    So did my career counselor (psychologist) whom I met some 8 times before deciding my career options suitable for me.

    So I have seen myself, too, tho not 100% of time. I've had long playful/depressed times which have made me a practicioner of the "go-with-the-flow" attitude, for different reasons.

    Seeing some ADD-kind of thing having affected me for most of my life (not quite, but something like that), I've felt like having bashed my head against the wall when trying to follow my desires and be the A-type person I deeply feel I am (busy, competetive, deeply TJ-type, prone to burnouts). I think I've come over that thing during the last months. I had the goal that I've fixed my life by my 30's. I'm 30 now, and it's quite fixed. Meaning that I am productive and capable of work, and to go for the next step.

  5. #5
    Per Ardua Array Metamorphosis's Avatar
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    May 2007


    I didn't even have to think about this one. If I'm not improving and achieving (or at least trying to), I'm not happy.
    "You will always be fond of me. I represent to you all the sins you never had the courage to commit."

    Reason is, and ought only to be the slave of the passions, and can never pretend to any other office
    than to serve and obey them. - David Hume

  6. #6
    Senior Member Array INTJMom's Avatar
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    Sep 2007


    I voted for neither because while I believe I need to have goals - as they say if you don't know where you're going, you won't like where you end up when you get there - not EVERYBODY can be number 1. If I finish in the top 25%, I'll be satisfied.

    I am incapable of being "laid-back".

  7. #7
    Senior Member Array htb's Avatar
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    May 2007


    If I fall below 50 MPH, I will explode.

  8. #8


    Quote Originally Posted by Metamorphosis View Post
    I didn't even have to think about this one. If I'm not improving and achieving (or at least trying to), I'm not happy.
    What he said.

    I really just have to be trying (w/ hope of success). I don't need to actually succeed to be happy.

    I'm a type A.

    Accept the past. Live for the present. Look forward to the future.
    Robot Fusion
    "As our island of knowledge grows, so does the shore of our ignorance." John Wheeler
    "[A] scientist looking at nonscientific problems is just as dumb as the next guy." Richard Feynman
    "[P]etabytes of [] data is not the same thing as understanding emergent mechanisms and structures." Jim Crutchfield

  9. #9
    Permabanned Array
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    Apr 2007


    I sort of flip/flop between these depending on what is happening in my life at the moment.

  10. #10
    Senior Member Array Lookin4theBestNU's Avatar
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    Apr 2007


    I voted for ambition though I don't define success in accepted societal terms such as materialistic achievement. However I am wondering if I am the only one who sees this as a paradox of *some* of the Perceiving temperaments.... "My goal is to not have a goal!"
    "At points of clarity, I realize that my life on earth is meaningless, and that I am merely a pawn in a bigger game. A game I cannot possibly understand or have control of. Thankfully, before depression sets in, I drift back into my cloudy, bewildered daily routine." **Joel Patrick Warneke**

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