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View Poll Results: which view of Life you belong to?

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  • ambitious, target/goal-oriented, need priority, try to be the BEST and number 1 success

    13 35.14%
  • tend to be laid-back, relaxed, easy-going, carefree attitude, 'just go with the flow'

    24 64.86%
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  1. #21
    Senior Member Tayshaun's Avatar
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    More people need ambition to make them comfortable about themselves.

    I belong to the smaller group (still relatively big though) of people who prefer a carefree attitude.

    When you start reaching certain intellectual plateaux, you need the carefree attitude to avoid a breakdown. Insanity is a coping mechanism to avoid real insanity. The key is to have a carefree basis to which you add "inner-priority" and "intellectual targets" but NOT ambition in terms of being the best or becoming #1.

    Ambition of becoming the best at something means becoming the best in a field which already has set standards. This is a problem for introverts (let's call them this) whose targets and goals are usually personal and do not obey external standards. Being carefree helps you be in tune with your internal standards!

    To recap. Answer 2 with elements of 1 in the mix.

  2. #22
    Per Ardua Metamorphosis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tayshaun View Post
    Ambition of becoming the best at something means becoming the best in a field which already has set standards. This is a problem for introverts (let's call them this) whose targets and goals are usually personal and do not obey external standards. Being carefree helps you be in tune with your internal standards!
    What makes you think that ambition only applies to externally visible changes? Ambition does not only have to do with careers.
    "You will always be fond of me. I represent to you all the sins you never had the courage to commit."

    Reason is, and ought only to be the slave of the passions, and can never pretend to any other office
    than to serve and obey them. - David Hume

  3. #23
    The elder Holmes Mycroft's Avatar
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    Re: op:

    False dichotomy. I feel most comfortable and able to appreciate life when I'm moving forward and achieving.
    Dost thou love Life? Then do not squander Time; for that's the Stuff Life is made of.

    -- Benjamin Franklin, Poor Richard's Almanack, June 1746 --

  4. #24
    Senior Member Lookin4theBestNU's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ygolo
    That sounds like a good one to me too
    I see I somehow managed to make it sound better then to what it equates to IRL .

    Me/Wednesday: What do you want to this weekend?
    Him: I don't know it's only wednesday woman!
    Me/Thursday: So have you thought about any plans for the weekend?
    Him: No not really.
    Me/Friday: You know tomorrow and over the weekend we could do this........
    Him: Well let's see what we feel like doing tomorrow!
    Me/Saturday morning: So what are we going to do this weekend?
    Him: I haven't really decided yet! Is there anything you want to do?
    Me:


    Long range planning forget it! Currently we are sitting at this: "here in about a year we are going to go ahead and buy a house honey".<<<that's pretty much the entire 'plan' btw.
    "At points of clarity, I realize that my life on earth is meaningless, and that I am merely a pawn in a bigger game. A game I cannot possibly understand or have control of. Thankfully, before depression sets in, I drift back into my cloudy, bewildered daily routine." **Joel Patrick Warneke**

  5. #25
    Senior Member raincrow007's Avatar
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    I find that keeping an open and sharp mind provides plenty of opportunities without much of the drama and exhaustion of chasing them down.

    Besides, life becomes a blur at a fast pace -- I'd rather see clearly.

    I abstain.

  6. #26

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    Quote Originally Posted by Lookin4theBestNU View Post
    I see I somehow managed to make it sound better then to what it equates to IRL .

    Me/Wednesday: What do you want to this weekend?
    Him: I don't know it's only wednesday woman!
    Me/Thursday: So have you thought about any plans for the weekend?
    Him: No not really.
    Me/Friday: You know tomorrow and over the weekend we could do this........
    Him: Well let's see what we feel like doing tomorrow!
    Me/Saturday morning: So what are we going to do this weekend?
    Him: I haven't really decided yet! Is there anything you want to do?
    Me:


    Long range planning forget it! Currently we are sitting at this: "here in about a year we are going to go ahead and buy a house honey".<<<that's pretty much the entire 'plan' btw.
    Seems like a type B in addition to being a Perceiving type. In Character and Personality Type Dario Nardi talks about "flavors of type" in which one of the distinctions is "Soft" or "Hard" demeanor.

    A harder side meets success oriented needs. A softer side develops out of the process of self-change and self-discovery.
    Seems like the type A type B distinction--again, it is a continuum, and probably being on the extreme of either end is self-defeating.

    Accept the past. Live for the present. Look forward to the future.
    Robot Fusion
    "As our island of knowledge grows, so does the shore of our ignorance." John Wheeler
    "[A] scientist looking at nonscientific problems is just as dumb as the next guy." Richard Feynman
    "[P]etabytes of [] data is not the same thing as understanding emergent mechanisms and structures." Jim Crutchfield

  7. #27
    Senior Member INTJMom's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lookin4theBestNU View Post
    I see I somehow managed to make it sound better then to what it equates to IRL .

    Me/Wednesday: What do you want to this weekend?
    Him: I don't know it's only wednesday woman!
    Me/Thursday: So have you thought about any plans for the weekend?
    Him: No not really.
    Me/Friday: You know tomorrow and over the weekend we could do this........
    Him: Well let's see what we feel like doing tomorrow!
    Me/Saturday morning: So what are we going to do this weekend?
    Him: I haven't really decided yet! Is there anything you want to do?
    Me:


    Long range planning forget it! Currently we are sitting at this: "here in about a year we are going to go ahead and buy a house honey".<<<that's pretty much the entire 'plan' btw.
    That's frustrating!
    Definitely sounds like a P.
    I feel your pain.

  8. #28
    Senior Member cafe's Avatar
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    Heehee. I eventually say something like "Listen, if you don't want to do anything, that's fine. I just need to know so I know how to plan."
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
    ~ John Rogers

  9. #29

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    Quote Originally Posted by cafe View Post
    Heehee. I eventually say something like "Listen, if you don't want to do anything, that's fine. I just need to know so I know how to plan."
    Why do J's put up with P spouses?

    You know, if my SO said something like what cafe said, I would be infuriated (because of the hidden implication that I don't want to do anything, and that somehow I am impeding someone else's planning process by just being me). But also think I wouldn't have given her cause to say something like that.

    I guess that's a draw back of being a P and a type A.

    Accept the past. Live for the present. Look forward to the future.
    Robot Fusion
    "As our island of knowledge grows, so does the shore of our ignorance." John Wheeler
    "[A] scientist looking at nonscientific problems is just as dumb as the next guy." Richard Feynman
    "[P]etabytes of [] data is not the same thing as understanding emergent mechanisms and structures." Jim Crutchfield

  10. #30
    Senior Member cafe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ygolo View Post
    Why do J's put up with P spouses?

    You know, if my SO said something like what cafe said, I would be infuriated (because of the hidden implication that I don't want to do anything, and that somehow I am impeding someone else's planning process by just being me). But also think I wouldn't have given her cause to say something like that.

    I guess that's a draw back of being a P and a type A.
    If you ask and ask and ask for input and no input is forthcoming, then it's unfair to the rest of the family to sit at home all weekend every weekend because one person cannot make up their mind if they want to do anything or not.

    Sometimes delay makes a plan impossible to carry out. I don't want him to feel like he can't say no so his only option is to passively resist until the opportunity has passed or be stuck going along with something he doesn't want to do.
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
    ~ John Rogers

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