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  1. #51
    Nickle Iron Silicone Charmed Justice's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Yloh View Post
    The question is, in a romantic relationship, what letter of the MBTI would you say seems to be the most important (E/I, N/S, F/T, or J/P)? Also, what about the strength of the letters (Someone with a 20% J vs someone with a 90% J) and how that can influence the importance of that letter.
    1.J v. P(Matters more, imo, if the woman is P and the man is J)
    2.F v. T(Esp if the man is F and the woman is T)
    3.E v. I(especially if the woman is E and then man is I)
    4.S v. N(Can pose an occasional annoyance between two people who don't know each other very well; but in and of themselves, not a big deal compared to the others imo.)

    I think it also depends on the degree to which someone prefers each attribute, and rather or not they like their preference, and/or strongly admire the other.
    There is a thinking stuff from which all things are made, and which, in its original state, permeates, penetrates, and fills the interspaces of the universe.

  2. #52
    Ghost Monkey Soul Vizconde's Avatar
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    The F v T conflict always is good for a laugh.
    I redact everything I have written or will write on this forum prior to, subsequent with and or after the fact of its writing. For entertainment purposes only and not to be taken seriously nor literally.

    Quote Originally Posted by Edgar View Post
    Spamtar - a strange combination of boorish drunkeness and erudite discussions, or what I call "an Irish academic"

  3. #53
    Senior Member Yloh's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by EnFpFer View Post
    1.J v. P(Matters more, imo, if the woman is P and the man is J)
    2.F v. T(Esp if the man is F and the woman is T)
    3.E v. I(especially if the woman is E and then man is I)
    4.S v. N(Can pose an occasional annoyance between two people who don't know each other very well; but in and of themselves, not a big deal compared to the others imo.)

    I think it also depends on the degree to which someone prefers each attribute, and rather or not they like their preference, and/or strongly admire the other.
    You know, I didn't even think about gender when I first wrote this thread , but that is a VERY good point.

    I think strength of preference plays a HUGE role is which letter is more important for them. One example is for me and my judging function. I would consider myself a pretty weak J overall. When I hang out with strong Js, I get very annoyed at how they try to control everything. I mean they won't do anything with out a specific plan while I only want a general plan.

    With Ps I can get along with, but I am bobbled at how they can't seem to finish anything. I really appreciate their way at approaching life, but I wish they can actually complete something they started. Don't worry, I'm not as bothered at this as I am making it sound.

    In all honesty I think I would get along best with a weak J or weak P in a romantic relationship. If you are too strong on either side, then we would probably have a lot of conflicts.

    When I was writing this thread, I came up with a little theory. It is all fun, but it does seem to make since to me. My theory is this, the right letter J/P is the most important. The letters go from right to left, most important to least important (J/P most important, F/T second most important, N/S third most important, E/I least important). Just because a letter is important doesn't mean that letter has to be the same. Some people prefer their opposites, while others prefer a common ground.

    I truly believe it is good to be a little different, but not completely different (for the most part). Now I know some people were meant to be with others that are 100% alike, while others are meant to be with others that are 100% different. Our differences can help each one of us build each other up, and our similarities can help us feel close. I feel that relating a little while having different strengths would make a great team for a romantic relationship.

    Now is just trying to find out what you like different in a person and what you want to be similar.

  4. #54
    resonance entropie's Avatar
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    Tho p-ness would imply a gender issue, it's not meant that way. I nevertheless think it is the most important. There aint many people who know what they do and even less people who dont know that what they dont know is exactly the thing they do

    (ignore me i am drunk)
    [URL]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEBvftJUwDw&t=0s[/URL]

  5. #55
    Nickle Iron Silicone Charmed Justice's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Yloh View Post
    You know, I didn't even think about gender when I first wrote this thread , but that is a VERY good point.

    I think strength of preference plays a HUGE role is which letter is more important for them.

    Now is just trying to find out what you like different in a person and what you want to be similar.
    Lots of good points.
    My absolute best relationships, defined by me as having minimal conflict or easy resolution without resentment and high levels of connection based on shared experiences, have been with SPs. NTs are cool but conflicts can extend themselves into long tirades ending nowhere, in my experience. With SJs, it's a toss up. We either get along very well, or we absolutely don't. Very risky in romance.

    I can hang out with SJs and have a great time, so long as we're doing something, or talking about something superficial in nature. Extended conversations about deeper subjects have a tendency to get weird after awhile. I end up feeling like I need to hold my tongue, so as to not offend their sensibilities, or lose their friendship entirely. At the same time, I find myself listening to them go on and on about whatever they consider to be the "right" or the important thing with little reciprocation. Resentment follows. Intimate relationships with STJs in my personal life have ended up being very parent-childish(with me as the child). Not my thing at all.

    It leads back to personal preference, and ingrained complexes, which we all have. My best relationships have been with men who had stronger Pness than I did(this has never failed), stronger E or very strong I, and who preferred S versus N. There's something to be said for T vs. F; but it's complex, and I haven't figured out what it is yet. I prefer strong extroversion because while I love being around people, I don't like being the one who leads as the center of attention. High introversion is also ok, because then the activities tend to lack an environment that would call for me being the center of attention anyway.


    Quote Originally Posted by entropie View Post
    Tho p-ness would imply a gender issue, it's not meant that way. I nevertheless think it is the most important. There aint many people who know what they do and even less people who dont know that what they dont know is exactly the thing they do

    (ignore me i am drunk)
    Haha! Yes, everything you said.
    There is a thinking stuff from which all things are made, and which, in its original state, permeates, penetrates, and fills the interspaces of the universe.

  6. #56
    Queen hunter Virtual ghost's Avatar
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    I think that all in the ends comes down to differences between strenghts of letters between two people.

    But this does not mean that things always get better as the differences are reduced.

  7. #57

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    It's either N/S or T/F and it depends how you define successful relationship.

  8. #58
    Pumpernickel
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    I am going to go ahead and agree with the public and say N/S is most important.

    I find strong S's to be unbelievably frustrating, and I don't think I could ever have a real and powerful connection with an S (theyre always shallow connections).

    Probably T/F is next, followed by J/P (which really doesnt matter to me at all), then i/e

  9. #59
    Shaman BlackCat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by justxher View Post
    I am going to go ahead and agree with the public and say N/S is most important.

    I find strong S's to be unbelievably frustrating, and I don't think I could ever have a real and powerful connection with an S (theyre always shallow connections).

    Probably T/F is next, followed by J/P (which really doesnt matter to me at all), then i/e
    N/S isn't really important to me at all (as I think I stated before in this thread). I'm on the border of all preferences, and for me I just basically have different sorts of conversations and "connections" with Ns and Ss. F/T is largely irrelevant to me unless I'm with an F that is overly sensitive and hyper emotional.

    I'm starting to realize how important sharing J/P really is from living with people. I live with Ps (two INTPs) and we basically live life at the same pace and having very similar priorities, and yeah just sharing P really does matter. My ENFJ mom drove me up the wall when I would stay with her, just because of that J.
    () 9w8-3w4-7w6 tritype.

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  10. #60
    Senior Member Synapse's Avatar
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    What about attitude in romance, wouldn't attitude be a source of romantic interest towards the intentions of another as E/I.
    While Romantic ideas would be an N/S experience as first choice I am confused to what role attitude has and the differences there is.
    Then wouldn't T/F be seen as feelings that are made from affections and textures of a romantic situation.
    Would J/P be scrutiny vs acceptance in the affability of attitude.

    Jung's definition of attitude is a "readiness of the psyche to act or react in a certain way" Attitudes very often come in pairs, one conscious and the other unconscious.

    The "presence of two attitudes is extremely frequent, one conscious and the other unconscious. This means that consciousness has a constellation of contents different from that of the unconscious, a duality particularly evident in neurosis"

    Extraversion and introversion are the "attitude-types".
    I conceive reason as an attitude

    The rational attitude subdivides into the thinking and feeling psychological functions, each with its attitude.

    The irrational attitude subdivides into the sensing and intuition psychological functions, each with its attitude. "There is thus a typical thinking, feeling, sensation, and intuitive attitude

    When I take an abstract attitude...Abstraction is contrasted with concretism - a peculiarity of thinking and feeling which is the antithesis of abstraction”
    MBTI definition

    The MBTI write-ups limit the use of "attitude" to the extraversion-introversion (EI) and judging-perceiving (JP) indexes.

    The JP index is sometimes referred to as an orientation to the outer world and sometimes JP is classified as an "attitude." In Jungian terminology the term attitude is restricted to EI. In MBTI terminology attitude can include EI and also JP.

    The above MBTI Manual statement, is restricted to EI," is directly contradicted by Jung's statement above that there is "a typical thinking, feeling, sensation, and intuitive attitude" and by his other uses of the term "attitude". Regardless of whether the MBTI simplification (or oversimplification) of Jung can be attributed to Myers, Gifts Differing refers only to the "EI preference", consistently avoiding the label "attitude". Regarding the JP index, in Gifts Differing Myers does use the terms "the perceptive attitude and the judging attitude" The JP index corresponds to the irrational and rational attitudes Jung describes, except that the MBTI focuses on the preferred orientation in the outer world in order to identify the function hierarchy. To be consistent with Jung, it can be noted that a rational extraverted preference is accompanied by an irrational introverted preference.
    Looks up attitude on type and this is what I found, curious.

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