Gotta ya .. But ideas have to come off the drawing board at some point.
Agreed. And that's what makes personal balance so important imo. It's not always about evaluating the risks. It's also about evaluating the
gains. 2 is not always better than 1. That's why people don't date every person they have a crush on.
How does the not being dependent on others work for you?
The important thing here, and something a lot of people seem to forget (from my experience), is that not being in a relationship doesn't mean you can't depend on others AND being in a relationships doesn't mean you'll depend on your partner all the time either.
I depend on people. My family for financial support and unconditional love, my friends for sharing and understanding etc etc Everyone depends on people to a certain extent.
My identity though, who I am regardless of context, is something I try to assert and polish all the time. Not relying on others to tell me what to do, what to feel or what to think. The short answer to your question is : very well.
I only ask as i used to be like that, wouldn't burden anyone. I now realise i need people around me so i can get different perspectives and when i actually need help (rarely), i know those people will come forward and offer it.
Some people don't need relationships .. but have you ever had a moment where you are lying in bed alone and it would be really nice if someone was there with you so you could just cuddle or even chat shit until the early hours of the morning.
Don't even the most independent people want something similar even if it is once in a blue moon.
Of course. But there are wants and there are needs. I thought a couple of times I wanted a relationship in the past, but I also realized I didn't need one. And to this day I think one should never approach a relationship from a place of need. It should be about evolving together, not about having someone filling in your gaps. That's my personal view, of course.
ALSO...there is a lot platonic friends can offer. You don't need to have physical intimacy with someone, to get something out of it.
Grungemouse said:
I'm inside out with this; I seek similar types for platonic relationships (a trio consisting of two INTPs and an ENTP. We call ourselves "the three muskequeers") but I like the balance in romantic relationships. It has less to do with being codependent in a relationship, but finding someone who sees the world from a different angle, that I find refreshing. I don't like being too similar with my partner, in terms of mindset. I don't like the taste of my own medicine. >>
ETA: I think it depends on where the "balance" is. I would find it hard to invest in a romantic relationship with an extravert, hence why all of my relationships have been with introverts. The T/F balance has it's positives, though. Especially NT/SF and NF/ST.
Other than good communication and sharing of basic priorities, I have nothing to say about romantic relationships and type. I will say that personally, NF/ST or NT/SF seems very counter-intuitive...but that's precisely due to the two things I've mentioned.
But yeah, that's what I'm saying. Being too similar might not be a recipe for success. That has a lot to do with how balanced the two are and what they are looking for. An INTP who never befriended another NT might find himself in heaven if he finds an NT romantic partner.
Seeing the world from all the different angles...again not something I would rely on a partner for. And again, something platonic friends can provide. I will say there's not pattern to how I associate with people ...I don't even have that many N friends let alone NFP friends (zero actually). It goes back to my feeling of being independent I guess. I learn from everyone, platonic or not. I'm not used to getting outside validation in that three musketeers sense you've mentioned. So romantic relationships are no more about stepping outside my comfort zone than platonic friendships.
