What do Ts get from Fs in a relationship?

[violet_crown]

But what do you GAIN? How do we balance you out? What specifically makes your life better with an F around?

Ever since I discovered the ENTJ-INFP pairing, I knew that it was awesome. But I could never think of what the ENTJ gains from it. So after months and months of thinking I was like "eh I'll make a thread". Perhaps this could be a nice learning experience for us all, especially the Fs (I think it's especially strange for the male Fs and what the female T gains).

Warmth. Someone who doesnt run away when we're in a mood. Awareness of a whole level of reality we wouldn't have known of otherwise. A complementary intellect. Home is people for me, and I think that he could be someone I consider home. For a woman of my type, there arent a lot of men whod provide that without feeling the need to crush her first. Whereas I get the sense that if I were to fall in love with an INFP, the dynamic would be complex but binding nonetheless.

 

[Virtual ghost]

Conscience ?

 

[alcea rosea]

Conscience ?

^ I like that idea but will define it a bit further:

Social conscience?

 

[entropie]

^ I like that idea but will define it a bit further:

Social conscience?

Where do I have to sign up ?

 

[Virtual ghost]

^ I like that idea but will define it a bit further:

Social conscience?

What exactly do you mean under "Social conscience" ?

 

[alcea rosea]

What exactly do you mean under "Social conscience" ?

To take other people into consideration when behaving in every day life.
Not in thinking nor logical way but in the means of sympathy and empathy.

 

[Owl]

I often don't take the mental states of others into account in interpersonal interaction. Consequently, I've managed to piss a lot of people off. The F's in my life have groomed me--so to speak--and I'm now much more conscious of others. (I still couldn't read or predict others' mental states to save my life, but I'm learning.)

 

[Ulaes]

company is company.

although... they are good at taking the F initative. on occasion ill have to exercise my own F to keep them happy and to keep the relationship which helps me become more balanced. also its easier for me to open up to someone who has already done the same to me. but perhaps it's a bit redunant for an intp to split people into Ts and Fs, everyone's a F compared to us.
also their empathetic thoughts can leave me awestruck.


at least i think thats what i think ...

 

[Amargith]

I've badgered my SO for the answer to this question several times in the past. It took him a while to get it formulated. I too, for the life of me, couldn't understand what such a capable, calm and confident man would need me for. The answer was:

"I get a break from my own brain and the world. You're both entertainment to take my mind of things and a safe haven from a demanding world. I can stop thinking for a moment, and just enjoy your warmth, silliness and the fact that you will hold me and care for me. You have a different view upon the world which I don't get. Somehow we end up at the same conclusion but you get there a whole other way. Only when you explain how, do I see how. I have no clue how it works, but somehow, it does for you. It fascinates me. And you provide insight in people, which can frustrate me like mad."

 

[jenocyde]

I think I'm realizing that what I get and what I get used to are two different things.

EDIT: basically, I get used to dealing with and placating other Fs.

 

[Jasz]

It's obvious what Fs get from Ts, but what do Ts get from Fs?

T types please post!

I learn to not always immediately jump into problem solving mode when approached with someone being upset. I learn to listen and relate to people instead of focusing solely on issues.

 

[Randomnity]

I'm dating a male F and really it's not much different from Ts. Maybe it's society's conditioning or something, he's really quite rational and on the same page as me.

Or maybe he's just cool that way, I don't know.

 

[A Schnitzel]

Or maybe he's just cool that way, I don't know.

Maybe you just know how to pick them.

 

[Lurker]

Love? Conscience? Affection? The same things a T can offer and vice versa?

Some traits are part of being human. If you're with an F or a T who can't offer these things, then there's a problem with that individual or your relationship.

There might be a difference in degree and quality, but some things are elemental.

 

[Udog]

Well, since Ts provide clarity and perspective, I assume we bring confusion and myopia.

Honestly I think they get the better deal.

 

[violet_crown]

I think I'm realizing that what I get and what I get used to are two different things.

EDIT: basically, I get used to dealing with and placating other Fs.

Ah, the catch-22 of F-type courtship. Havent quite wrapped my head around this one myself, but I think theyre pretty trainable. Just need to sort out the stick and carrot.

Seriously though emotional games are my biggest hesitation. Insight into this would be nice. How willing are Fs to compromise in terms of the Ts need for forthrightness?

 

[Costrin]

Actually I think many Fs like the directness and the freedom to be direct about what they feel themselves. But of course it likely wont happen instantly.

 

[iwakar]

We totally multiply life's fun factor for them!

 

[BlackCat]

Seriously though emotional games are my biggest hesitation. Insight into this would be nice. How willing are Fs to compromise in terms of the Ts need for forthrightness?

I really really hate when people AREN'T forthright. When feelers do this it's like just another obstacle, it's like well you're going to tell me anyway so just get to the point. I don't know what to tell you. I'm not that kind of feeler.

 

[jenocyde]

Actually I think many Fs like the directness and the freedom to be direct about what they feel themselves. But of course it likely wont happen instantly.

I really really hate when people AREN'T forthright. When feelers do this it's like just another obstacle, it's like well you're going to tell me anyway so just get to the point. I don't know what to tell you. I'm not that kind of feeler.

I know you guys are saying this, which means you truly mean it, but I don't know many people that think the way you two do. It's different in an intimate relationship, especially. A lot of F types say that they like the truth, but draw the line at disrespect. But the simple fact is that dishonesty is disrespect in my eyes. And also, I don't have much that I am sensitive about, so it's hard to gauge what other people are sensitive about. I just walk on eggshells most of the time and I am used to it. I've accepted it.

And if I do accidentally offend with a "careless" sentence, I spend hours grovelling because of it. "I know you said you're sorry, but I can't help shaking that this is how you really feeeeeeel about me! waaaaah!"

So, I've learned to shut my mouth. I bought and studied books on etiquette and even went to a class with my ENTJ sis on how to be nice. Of course, my motivations were not for romantic relationships, but for business ones, but I still did it all the same. And it's working.