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  1. #101
    Senior Member WoodsWoman's Avatar
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    Should have quoted Synarch - my post was in reference to his.

    Being grounded in reality by a T - particularly an ENTJ - was that things got remembered and accomplished in a much more routine fashion. My T brought a level of objectivity into my life that I have a hard time accomplishing on my own. Brainstorming became a planning activity instead of an exercise in futility (usually).

  2. #102
    Widdles in your cream.
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    With my INFP ex:

    - Confusion.
    - Being labelled "Emotional dunce" (Hur, no really).
    - A headache.
    - Someone who, regardless of the above, catered for my emotional side.

    Benefits from this relationship were mainly down to the Ne/Ne pun-filled conversations, rather than his Feeling side.

    ISFJ ex:

    - Being taught that you can go "one joke too far" with some.
    - How not to behave at the dinner table.
    - Allowing yourself to be accommodated for =/= losing your independence

    ISFP (current):

    ...Er. *scratches head* Like with the INFP, benefits from this relationship weren't so much derived from the Feeling side, but the Perceiving; in this case, it's the "seize the moment" SP way of thinking. Sometimes I need to just stop overthinking and dive in.

    From experience, I definitely feel more comfortable being in a relationship with SF types.
    Um, yeah.

  3. #103
    Senior Member proximo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Synarch View Post
    I like that Feelers have thought our reasons for giving a fuck.
    I've thought of lots of reasons for giving a fuck, but I got to them through mostly logic

    Can't remember who said "love is logical", but I see what they mean, totally. Then there's this.
    I'm male and over 30, FYI.
    Preferences: 20% Extravert, 98% Intuitive, 68% Thinker, 17% Perceiving

  4. #104

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    Quote Originally Posted by Unique View Post
    Hmm

    I disagree

    Which ISTPs are you meeting?
    ISTPs are very perceptive. I think there is a mix of I and E types when it comes to best at understanding surroundings. In terms of connectedness, E should always be ahead of I because they give more emphasis to the objective reality and are more reliant on it.
    Freude, schöner Götterfunken Tochter aus Elysium, Wir betreten feuertrunken, Himmlische, dein Heiligtum! Deine Zauber binden wieder Was die Mode streng geteilt; Alle Menschen werden Brüder, Wo dein sanfter Flügel weilt.

  5. #105
    Senior Member Saslou's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Grungemouse View Post
    Sometimes I need to just stop overthinking and dive in.

    From experience, I definitely feel more comfortable being in a relationship with SF types.

    I only wish more people thought like this .. Carpe diem .. It is OK evaluating the risks involved, but unless you dive in, it is only speculation.

    Awww .. We SF's do have our advantages then
    “I made you take time to look at what I saw and when you took time to really notice my flower, you hung all your associations with flowers on my flower and you write about my flower as if I think and see what you think and see—and I don't.”
    ― Georgia O'Keeffe

  6. #106
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    with the ISFJ:
    • Family and traditional pastime/ritual can be life-affirming things.
    • Loyalty and devotion are as strong virtues as intelligence and honesty.
    • Sometimes planning ahead is necessary, checklists are my friend.
    • I got a strong sense of how my behavior comes across to non-intuitives.
    • Sometimes perseverance can surmount insurmountable obstacles.
    • Love can be expressed in very concrete and definable ways, not just as a fuzzy abstraction.


    with an INFP I was seeing for a bit:
    • I'm worth loving; I am not a bad person.
    • Relationships do not have to be a chore all the time.
    • It's okay and fun to explore, and not everything has to make sense.
    • There are people in the world I can trust.


    One thing I know about myself is that I can 'play F' in broad social contexts for awhile but in my intimate relationships I can't carry that load. I desire to go deeply and be close, but if I'm involved with a T person with a more extreme T, I fear getting stuck having to carry the F-end of the relationship and I can't do it adequately -> me unhappy.

    Naturally F people give me something to respond to and take a lot of the pressure off. The only problem is that I have proven inadequate to meet *their* F expectations, ironically, and can seem too detached/indifferent for them, nor can I engage easily on a purely emotive level... I still intellectualize everything somewhat.

    I don't know. But F people definitely provide affirmation and warmth and some "tethering to the relationship" that I tend not to experience with T's.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  7. #107
    Senior Member Moiety's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by saslou View Post
    I only wish more people thought like this .. Carpe diem .. It is OK evaluating the risks involved, but unless you dive in, it is only speculation.
    That's not how Man got to the moon, though. And as for balance, Saslou, I'm one of those crazy people that prefer aiming for being balanced outside of a relationship and not being dependent on others. It would be a sad story if people needed relationships to live their lives imo.

    And where is BlackCat? He needs to clarify what I'm so "obviously" missing here. What could a T provide me, that I being an F, don't have?

  8. #108
    Senior Member Saslou's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sytpg View Post
    That's not how Man got to the moon, though. And as for balance, Saslou, I'm one of those crazy people that prefer aiming for being balanced outside of a relationship and not being dependent on others. It would be a sad story if people needed relationships to live their lives imo.

    And where is BlackCat? He needs to clarify what I'm so "obviously" missing here. What could a T provide me, that I being an F, don't have?
    Gotta ya .. But ideas have to come off the drawing board at some point.

    How does the not being dependent on others work for you?

    I only ask as i used to be like that, wouldn't burden anyone. I now realise i need people around me so i can get different perspectives and when i actually need help (rarely), i know those people will come forward and offer it.
    Some people don't need relationships .. but have you ever had a moment where you are lying in bed alone and it would be really nice if someone was there with you so you could just cuddle or even chat shit until the early hours of the morning.
    Don't even the most independent people want something similar even if it is once in a blue moon.
    “I made you take time to look at what I saw and when you took time to really notice my flower, you hung all your associations with flowers on my flower and you write about my flower as if I think and see what you think and see—and I don't.”
    ― Georgia O'Keeffe

  9. #109
    Widdles in your cream.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sytpg View Post
    That's not how Man got to the moon, though. And as for balance, Saslou, I'm one of those crazy people that prefer aiming for being balanced outside of a relationship and not being dependent on others. It would be a sad story if people needed relationships to live their lives imo.

    And where is BlackCat? He needs to clarify what I'm so "obviously" missing here. What could a T provide me, that I being an F, don't have?
    I'm inside out with this; I seek similar types for platonic relationships (a trio consisting of two INTPs and an ENTP. We call ourselves "the three muskequeers") but I like the balance in romantic relationships. It has less to do with being codependent in a relationship, but finding someone who sees the world from a different angle, that I find refreshing. I don't like being too similar with my partner, in terms of mindset. I don't like the taste of my own medicine. >>

    ETA: I think it depends on where the "balance" is. I would find it hard to invest in a romantic relationship with an extravert, hence why all of my relationships have been with introverts. The T/F balance has it's positives, though. Especially NT/SF and NF/ST.
    Um, yeah.

  10. #110
    Filthy Apes! Kalach's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by noigmn View Post
    ISTPs are very perceptive. I think there is a mix of I and E types when it comes to best at understanding surroundings. In terms of connectedness, E should always be ahead of I because they give more emphasis to the objective reality and are more reliant on it.
    You're forgetting, all that extra interaction with the environment still feeds only into the same technically fixed arrangement of preferences among the eight functions. You can run around for a million years and still not prefer looking under the rocks I've played with long ago.



    (And I christen this philosophical position "Triumphal I-izm". Otherwise referred to by its longer title: If You Have to Leave the House for It, It Probably Wasn't Worth It Anyway.)
    Bellison uncorked a flood of horrible profanity, which, translated, meant, "This is extremely unusual."

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