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phone and internet = time alone? I vs E

psyche

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Aug 2, 2009
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86
In regard to I/E preferences, would it be possible to be introverted and yet spend much of one's time interacting with others via emailing and on the phone? Would this be time spent "alone" or with others?
 

cascadeco

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I think for a lot of introverts, emailing, foruming and chat rooming are less draining than real-life conversations, and the same things tend to have less of a draw for extroverts, simply because the extroverts are busy in the 'real world' doing one thing or another. (obviously both of these are generalizations, though)

For me, this type of environment is actually just as draining as real-world interactions. So if I have too many emails or things to respond to, I'll start feeling overwhelmed - as it can take energy for me to email. Too much of it becomes too much. And things like Ventrilo, or IMing, make me just as anxious as real-life interactions. Actually, moreso, because with this medium there is no behavioral context, no visual cues, and a lot of information/context can be lost.
 

Poki

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I like it because I can shut it off whenever I want and I dont have the urgency to respond right away. I can pretty much limit myself with how much I want to interact or not to interact. If I read something and dont want to respond right away I dont have to.
 

wolfy

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Jun 30, 2008
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I like email and the internet because I can do it on my schedule. I hate the phone.
 

Clonester

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As an extrovert, I usually spend my day socializing and I go out and do stuff a lot. So when I do get home and have (potentially) the chance to phone people I typically just want some alone time. Thus I don't phone a lot unless I'm planning something.

On the other hand I've seen some introverts who love talking on the phone, for hours even. And other introverts wont pick up the phone if you pay them. And I'm sure there are E's who chat away on the phone. Hard to tell so maybe this thread will lead somewhere. I'd be interested to know.
 

Saslou

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Feb 1, 2009
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Damn, i can chat for hours on the phone. I can see my mum in person then call her later in the night and talk for hours.

The best is when you are talking on the phone whilst on msn to the same person. Wicked.

I love being on here as i am talking to so many people, it doesn't drain me at all and better than IRL as i wouldn't get this kind of opportunity with such a large scale of people. :D
 

OrangeAppled

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Emailing can be draining for me also, but less so than talking in person or on the phone. I think I tend to post on message boards in almost a bloggy way - more of a self-expression or thinking aloud as opposed to a back & forth conversation. It feels like alone time as much as journaling might, but with the added benefit of occasional feedback and interaction to stimulate more thoughts. There's less demand on responding, unless I feel like it. I take longer to respond to PMs than I do to post comments in a thread because of that.

The phone is terribly draining, even more so than in-person conversation because it allows for no breaks. The constant talking and pressure to keep it going is too much for me.

The very extroverted people I know seem to prefer online interactions that are more about immediate interaction: instant messaging, twitter, comments on social networking sites, etc. They check these like they check their phones for texts - all the freakin' time. Whereas I can take a week to respond to an email or text, and I must be in a certain mood to engage in instant messaging (very rare for me).
 

psyche

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Aug 2, 2009
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Thanks for all your responses; it's really interesting for me to read them.

I find that I spend a lot of time on the phone, but only with close friends. With all other people, I avoid phone calls. I screen and it takes weeks sometimes for me to return a call. I always assumed that my tendency to talk on the phone with my friends as I do was because I'm extraverted....

I like emailing, but again, only with people I'm close to, or very interested in connecting with. It takes energy for me to respond to other emails; I have to psych myself up to motivate to do it and I get unjustifiably resentful when I have emails in my inbox from people I really don't want to connect with (including work-related emails).

I only text with my SO or guys I've dated. Again, it takes too much effort for me to text anyone else, but I like it with my SO. I am the same with IMs. I IM my SO, and occasionally a family member, but feel almost annoyed when other people try to add me to their skype contact list. I keep my skype set to "away" so I don't have to answer if I don't want to.

All this and I'm an extravert! Interesting....
 

Lady_X

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i don't find internet chatting or forums draining at all...but i have to be in the mood for the phone...when i am i can talk for hours...but i don't always answer it...actually i often don't...just because i'm usually involved in doing something else...but i've always had jobs that are very social...so...chatiing like this feels like alone time...but...just less boring...i guess.

i love being surrounded by conversation....i have some friends that i chat with for hours almost every day...that's probably why i can't sleep...my brain takes a bit to calm down from conversations.
 

jenocyde

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I hate talking on the phone so much. I rarely answer my phone unless it's a business call and I almost never listen to voice mails. People just ramble on about crap and then when you call them back, they say the same thing all over again. Voice mail is the devil.

Texting is fine if it's brief. No long conversations.

I like to meet in person, if I can. If not, email works best since I can reply at will. That being said, at current count, I have 387 unanswered emails in my inbox, 72 on facebook and 25 on here. I fail.

I don't instant message because that means that I have to sit still at my computer and wait for responses and I can't handle that.
 

Wonkavision

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For me, face to face interaction is always preferable to phone, text-message, forum post, email, or chatroom.

Communicating without facial expressions, gestures, and spontaneous reactions to the immediate environment is somewhat stifling to me, and I simply don't have enough internal material to go off of for long periods of time.

I need to replenish the supply of thoughts/ideas/reflections with something new in the present, or I get bored pretty fast.

There are certain things I often think about when I'm alone, but I'm not eager to talk about them unless I can get an immediate, face to face, personal response.

And generally---as far as the audience goes---the more the merrier.

In order of preference, I'd put chat room first, then phone, then forum post, then text-message, then email.


I think all this would describe a typical Extravert, but I won't make any definitive statements about that.
 

GirlFromMars

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Jun 2, 2009
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INFP
I love talking on the phone. I can do it for hours with the right person. If it's someone that's very loud and very extraverted, I'll want to be on the phone with them less, because even on the phone I can feel drained by them. But if it's someone on the more quiet side (doesn't have to be and introvert, but just a quiter extravert maybe) I could speak for hours, when it's something/s I'm interested in.

As for the internet - I love my internet time. I can walk away if it becomes too much, whereas it's not usually as easy to do so offline! But too much to reply to can make me feel overwhelmed. For instance, if I'm on IM (rarely these days) and more than like 2 people are talking to me at a fast pace, I get all stressed by it. I usually use my internet time reading up on things I'm interested in, and now and then when I'm in the mood for it, interracting on forums, or with friends.
 

Lurker

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I count internet time spent IMing or emailing other people as socializing. Maybe watered down socializing (a little less draining), but socializing all the same.

I'm a strong introvert.
 

IZthe411

Carerra Lu
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Jul 19, 2009
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INTJ
Phone is never time alone- because you are expending yourself. I'm introverted.

Internet is time alone if you are surfing. If you are emailing, texting, or on IM, that's draining as well.

In order of least to favorite, it would have to be texting, email, IM, phone, face-to-face.
I hate trying to converse over any written medium. It takes too long to explain something that is implied through voice or facial expression, so the point may not be as effective or totally lost.

I talk the most with my girl over the phone, and like others I hate the silent periods.

That's why I'd rather be face to face.
 
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