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  1. #1
    12 and a half weeks BerberElla's Avatar
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    Default Typing future relationships?

    We've all seen the many threads "help type this guy/girl" that crop up, perhaps we've been guilty of it ourselves at times, I know I've been through a phase of needing to type any guy who expressed an interest in me (gave me good reasons to not go there lol).

    Is it really helpful do you think?

    I had the perfect chance to type my new boyfriend over the weekend by making him take the test. I even thought about it, but for the first time found that I didn't actually want to know the answer just yet.

    I just didn't see the need to find out "who he was" when I was enjoying getting to know him, and figuring it all out on my own.

    I mean I have a rough idea anyway, but I'm not really interested in exploring it any further.

    On which side of the fence do you lie? type them or don't type them?

    Would future knowledge help avoid future misunderstandings, or could having a preconceived idea of who this person should be, actually just cause misunderstandings?
    Echo - "So are you trying to say she is Evil"

    DeWitt - "Something far worse, she's an Idealist"

    Berb's Johari Berb's Nohari

  2. #2
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    Well, as far as my experiences go (which aren't much, admittedly) so far, I realized that in spite of my best efforts not to, I have let Type kind of get in the way of me having a straight-forward relationship with my current boyfriend. I was basing certain things on his type and as a result kinda held parts of myself back, and, consequently, the relationship. So now I'm kinda workin' on movin' away from that, though the damage may already have been done...

    Anyway, there's my 2 cents.

  3. #3
    12 and a half weeks BerberElla's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JuneBugGemini View Post
    Well, as far as my experiences go (which aren't much, admittedly) so far, I realized that in spite of my best efforts not to, I have let Type kind of get in the way of me having a straight-forward relationship with my current boyfriend. I was basing certain things on his type and as a result kinda held parts of myself back, and, consequently, the relationship. So now I'm kinda workin' on movin' away from that, though the damage may already have been done...

    Anyway, there's my 2 cents.
    Pretty much my fears when I decided not to type him.

    I hope you manage to find away to let go of those things though, I'm thinking that once those thoughts take root inside you (if you are anything like me) it would be harder to shake it, than just not knowing from the start but I hope you do if you like him enough.

    I've dismissed guys because their type worried me, ie maybe they wouldn;t be loving enough because they weren't an F, perhaps they wouldn't be loyal enough because they were an enfp (oh self insulting I know) and it was silly but it was my silly way of trying to stay safe, this Fi is sensitive at times lol.

    I'm quite pleased to be at a stage where I find I don't want to do that anymore, especially since I know my worries were pretty warped.
    Echo - "So are you trying to say she is Evil"

    DeWitt - "Something far worse, she's an Idealist"

    Berb's Johari Berb's Nohari

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    Quote Originally Posted by BerberElla View Post
    Pretty much my fears when I decided not to type him.

    I hope you manage to find away to let go of those things though, I'm thinking that once those thoughts take root inside you (if you are anything like me) it would be harder to shake it, than just not knowing from the start but I hope you do if you like him enough.

    I've dismissed guys because their type worried me, ie maybe they wouldn;t be loving enough because they weren't an F, perhaps they wouldn't be loyal enough because they were an enfp (oh self insulting I know) and it was silly but it was my silly way of trying to stay safe, this Fi is sensitive at times lol.

    I'm quite pleased to be at a stage where I find I don't want to do that anymore, especially since I know my worries were pretty warped.
    Thanks for the encouragement...before I knew his type, I used normal, non-type words to define him, [such as funny, charming, cute, witty, etc. he's an INTP] and I'm sitting here today going, "What the hell did I get myself into?" The worse thing is that it's kinda caused some Pygmalion Project behaviors in me, leading to feelings of resentment that the boy doesn't really reserve, which makes me feel really crappy and hopeless.

    I agree with all your reasons for not doing that, good thing you figured that out 'fore I did. (then again, you're prolly older and wiser 'n me, so no accounts for maturity, thar.)

  5. #5
    full of love Kingfisher's Avatar
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    i think it's better not to type someone too soon, or soon at all. for a romantic relationship, or just casual. but then, i hardly ever think about the MBTI outside of this forum, so...

    i think that when you start determining type and psychology for people you've recently met you just give yourself too much to think about, and it bogs you down and overwhelms you.
    i really think it is best to just meet people and get to know them, and not overthink or over-analyze it.

    but i just realized i have never started a romantic relationship while knowing about the MBTI. i just learned about MBTI last year, and have been in a relationship for several years. so....
    i honestly am glad i got involved in this relationship with no knowledge of the MBTI. i know, sacrilege, right?
    but i like going into new things fresh and new, without anything to color my perception.

  6. #6
    12 and a half weeks BerberElla's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JuneBugGemini View Post
    Thanks for the encouragement...before I knew his type, I used normal, non-type words to define him, [such as funny, charming, cute, witty, etc. he's an INTP] and I'm sitting here today going, "What the hell did I get myself into?" The worse thing is that it's kinda caused some Pygmalion Project behaviors in me, leading to feelings of resentment that the boy doesn't really reserve, which makes me feel really crappy and hopeless.

    I agree with all your reasons for not doing that, good thing you figured that out 'fore I did. (then again, you're prolly older and wiser 'n me, so no accounts for maturity, thar.)
    This is how I feel now, I can still use basic words to describe his personality, like you said you could.

    Damn, your posts really remind me of why I made this better choice (this time round). I may be older lol but no wiser girl, believe me.

    I really hope you do find a way to let go hun.

    Quote Originally Posted by Kingfisher View Post
    i think it's better not to type someone too soon, or soon at all. for a romantic relationship, or just casual. but then, i hardly ever think about the MBTI outside of this forum, so...

    i think that when you start determining type and psychology for people you've recently met you just give yourself too much to think about, and it bogs you down and overwhelms you.
    i really think it is best to just meet people and get to know them, and not overthink or over-analyze it.

    but i just realized i have never started a romantic relationship while knowing about the MBTI. i just learned about MBTI last year, and have been in a relationship for several years. so....
    i honestly am glad i got involved in this relationship with no knowledge of the MBTI. i know, sacrilege, right?
    but i like going into new things fresh and new, without anything to color my perception.
    Yes, I used to be this way too, but fear can change a person, and in my fear I felt knowing was better.

    I have a friend who has alot of precognition on things, she has predicted people dying, people betraying her, people leaving the country, stuff like that and it's always freaky accurate. I thought this would be an awesome thing to have, but it makes her sad and fearful to connect with people and she hates having this "epiphany" moments about people.

    This I think is pretty similiar to knowing a persons type, even if it's not a predictor, it could be used as a predictor, and become a self fulfilling prophecy.
    Echo - "So are you trying to say she is Evil"

    DeWitt - "Something far worse, she's an Idealist"

    Berb's Johari Berb's Nohari

  7. #7
    Shaman BlackCat's Avatar
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    It's hard for me to not, I usually have an idea of someone's type within a few minutes of interacting with them. It's a tool for me, not a bias.
    () 9w8-3w4-7w6 tritype.

    sCueI (primary Inquisition)

  8. #8
    resonance entropie's Avatar
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    You always have to tell yourself: "Typing completly foreign people that would need a lifetime of interaction to be faintly known to you one day, is like modern nazi propaganda"

    Say that 3 times a day in front of the mirror to yourself but dont do the mistake afterwards to fall in love with people at first sight, see the world through rose-colored glasses and to get totally busted in the end, cause you've seen someone other in that kind of person.

    Bottom Line: Surest thing to fall in love is to develop an unhealthy beer addiction. Costs the same like having a girl + makes you drunk too
    [URL]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEBvftJUwDw&t=0s[/URL]

  9. #9
    12 and a half weeks BerberElla's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BlackCat View Post
    It's hard for me to not, I usually have an idea of someone's type within a few minutes of interacting with them. It's a tool for me, not a bias.
    Yes, I know that's what it's supposed to be, but you can't always guarantee that that's what it will be used for.
    Echo - "So are you trying to say she is Evil"

    DeWitt - "Something far worse, she's an Idealist"

    Berb's Johari Berb's Nohari

  10. #10
    Artisan Conquerer Halla74's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BerberElla View Post
    We've all seen the many threads "help type this guy/girl" that crop up, perhaps we've been guilty of it ourselves at times, I know I've been through a phase of needing to type any guy who expressed an interest in me (gave me good reasons to not go there lol).

    Is it really helpful do you think?

    I had the perfect chance to type my new boyfriend over the weekend by making him take the test. I even thought about it, but for the first time found that I didn't actually want to know the answer just yet.

    I just didn't see the need to find out "who he was" when I was enjoying getting to know him, and figuring it all out on my own.

    I mean I have a rough idea anyway, but I'm not really interested in exploring it any further.

    On which side of the fence do you lie? type them or don't type them?

    Would future knowledge help avoid future misunderstandings, or could having a preconceived idea of who this person should be, actually just cause misunderstandings?
    Hey Berbsy,

    If it were me, I'd have the same feelings as you, but I would go ahead and type them. I would not let the results get in the way of whatever feelings for them I had manifested, but I would let my (limited) knowledge of type try to help me get to them further a little better as time continued to move forward. Thoughts? You're not making them a guinea pig by typing them...

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