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  1. #1
    Senior Member Chloe's Avatar
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    Default Es have greater need for social acceptance?

    ... so I read few times people are mentioning this as Es trait, ... attention whores, need to be accepted etc., but is it really E's-only trait? Or it has not so much to do with types...I'm thinking about needing for acceptance in negative way like being overly dependent on other people's opinion about you etc?
    I mean, no matter if you're an E or I, ... you can't make people always like you ... so shouldn't that be more linked to having trust in yourself than with types?
    basically, i feel that people on this forum are severly misusing this mbti stuff... misinterpreting it more often than dont.
    So it often comes down to stereotypes and generalisaitions, ... and the worst of it; having excuse for behaving in unhealthy way...
    after all i think there can be division between unhealthy and healthy...
    person has real self so depending on how much it's hidden / neglected... person is healthy or unhealthy. it's following your true nature.. but misuse of mbti makes people put everything under their "real nature"...
    so ex. being lazy 30 years old "kid" still not earning your own food is because you're P..not having friends is because you're I.. etc.
    i'm not saying people should all be perfect but instead of being tool for removing delusions... mbti is misused for staying in it...sometimes.
    eh,yeah..i derailed my own thread already.

  2. #2
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    lol...you hijacked your own thread in the first post itself...somebody give this woman an award for Ne overload

    to your thread title:
    nah...E/I doesn't control the need for acceptance. E/I is the way that the need for acceptance is manifested as...i think. ENFP will do crazy shit to confirm their acceptance around their friends. INFP will just hang out and be happy that everyone lets them hang around (hanging around is the INFP version of doing crazy shit...even then they are not completely sure if they are 'accepted')

    to your actual post:
    you are completely right..mbti IS misinterpreted by many different people. espeically since it borrows words from regular english but uses them in a very different sense. people just assume the dictionary definition and be happy with it. hence the bias the Is are losers and Es are obnoxious

    and yeah...it should not be used as an excuse for your actions. it should be used to understand your actions and then improve. people go on secret trips of pleasure when they realize that they were late for the wax appointment cuz they are a P. the healthy thing to do would be to realize that you are a P and give extra thought and devote more energy to getting there on time

  3. #3
    Artisan Conquerer Halla74's Avatar
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    I have ZERO need for acceptance, I like me and if anybody else doesn't that's fine.

    I enjoy socialization, and I enjoy interacting with people.

    Most extroverts I know are this way. I only know a few unhealthy people who are "attention whores" but that has nothing to do with their extroversion exclusively.

  4. #4
    Senior Member substitute's Avatar
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    yeah, I've known a few INFJ's that can be pretty nasty passive aggressive attention whores...

    caring what people think of you can be about much more than just a personal need for acceptance because you base your own self-opinion on the opinion others have of you.

    If you are a person who needs a lot of social interaction and who is driven to interact with the external world, you don't want to be meeting roadblocks all the time because people have bad impressions of you. It's not so much, for me, that I need this guy to think I'm cool cos if he doesn't then *I* think I'm a jerk. It's more that I need this guy to at least not think I'm too much of a jerk, cos if he does, then he and other people who listen to him won't work with me, or at least, will make it hard for me to get my goals in the external world achieved.

    But also, I don't see what's so great about the stereotype introvert position anyway. So what, you have your own self-justified view of yourself, and even if a load of other people think you're a jerk, you're still able to carry on thinking you're cool and don't take on board what you actually come across like to others?

    A balance between the two must be found - you can't go around hating yourself every time someone calls you a jerk, cos that person might be a jerk himself. But you can't go around ignoring the opinions of others all the time, in case you end up being a jerk without realizing it, and yet thinking it's everyone else who's the jerk.

    Either way, some sort of acceptance by others is necessary for people whose primary mode of living is in the external world, otherwise life becomes just unmanageable.
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  5. #5
    Ruler of the Stars Asterion's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chloee View Post
    ... so I read few times people are mentioning this as Es trait, ... attention whores, need to be accepted etc., but is it really E's-only trait? Or it has not so much to do with types...I'm thinking about needing for acceptance in negative way like being overly dependent on other people's opinion about you etc?
    I mean, no matter if you're an E or I, ... you can't make people always like you ... so shouldn't that be more linked to having trust in yourself than with types?
    basically, i feel that people on this forum are severly misusing this mbti stuff... misinterpreting it more often than dont.
    So it often comes down to stereotypes and generalisaitions, ... and the worst of it; having excuse for behaving in unhealthy way...
    after all i think there can be division between unhealthy and healthy...
    person has real self so depending on how much it's hidden / neglected... person is healthy or unhealthy. it's following your true nature.. but misuse of mbti makes people put everything under their "real nature"...
    so ex. being lazy 30 years old "kid" still not earning your own food is because you're P..not having friends is because you're I.. etc.
    i'm not saying people should all be perfect but instead of being tool for removing delusions... mbti is misused for staying in it...sometimes.
    eh,yeah..i derailed my own thread already.
    bolded: That is probably an enneagram 6 trait. They tend to be dependent on other peoples' opinions on everything they do, they are uncertain of everything.

    MBTI is just a bunch of letters really, and people pity those letters, for they are useless and scream out for practical application. So these people come along and apply them to everything, their pets, their tv show characters, their hairdryers and suddenly find themselves caught in the spider's web, then suddenly they give up on life, they can't live because they're disadvantaged, they're stuck, they envy the people who aren't stuck in a web. But if they were born in a web, they wouldn't know the difference. MBTI becomes a double edged sword, and if you're not careful, you'll cut yourself.

    Wow, that was the fruitiest post I've made since ever, I feel like Victor or something
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  6. #6
    Queen hunter Virtual ghost's Avatar
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    As far as I know the answer is "yes" but the strenght of T/F dimension has a certain effect on this as well.

  7. #7
    Ruler of the Stars Asterion's Avatar
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    So an ENTJ would have more trouble than you?

    sorry, I just realized the context...

    oh, and I forgot to mention that I really care about social acceptance, I can't have someone not liking me, I'll generally do what I can to avoid it.
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  8. #8
    Senior Member Jaguar's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Halla74 View Post
    I have ZERO need for acceptance, I like me and if anybody else doesn't that's fine.
    Ditto, buddy.
    If I had across-the-board acceptance, damn, I'd be disappointed.

  9. #9
    Queen hunter Virtual ghost's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by King-Of-Despair View Post
    So an ENTJ would have more trouble than you?
    I will presume that you are talking to me.

    Well the ENTJs are Es what by default means that he/she needs more acceptance then an INTJ. Since ENTJs need a source of energy in a form of other people. Probably the main reason why INTJs got this creepy image that is going around is because we for the most part don't need that kind of stimulation and we can be equally ruthless.



    As for me personally the answer is cleraly "yes". It litterally came to the situation where I have to "aggressively" seek for social contacts so that I don't end up too far behind people of my age in this matters.
    Since this is not coming to me naturally.
    Which means that my need to be around people comes from NTJ part and not because of extroversion (being energized).
    From experiance I know that I can isolate myself from others for a year and survive without any problem.

  10. #10
    Senior Member Jaguar's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by King-Of-Despair View Post

    oh, and I forgot to mention that I really care about social acceptance, I can't have someone not liking me, I'll generally do what I can to avoid it.
    HAHAHAHA. Classic.

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