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  1. #51
    likes this gromit's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Antisocial one View Post
    How about "unclean" Te then ?
    Hm... can you give me an example of where one person uses Te and then another person freezes up in response to it? Then maybe I can imagine better.
    Your kisses, sweeter than honey. But guess what, so is my money.

  2. #52
    Senior Member Dark Razor's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Antisocial one View Post
    I am curious: why most people have the tendency to freeze when they get Te answer / statement / explanation in their face ?


    By Te I mean pure and clean Te, without any neuroticism , Fe orr visible subjectivity.
    From what I have seen in real life this can really creep out people.
    In my experience, people freeze especially if you answer a yes or no question simply with YES or NO without additional elaboration.

    I sometimes use that to get people's attention, and /or as primer for something funny to say. People will listen more closely to your explanation if they are first stunned like that.

    As for "pure Te" , I think that most people expect either a fluffy posititve Fe response or meaningless chit-chat in most situations. If you respond with Te analysis in most cases people will kind of be snapped out of the casual situation they thought themselves to be in and feel like they have been teleported in front of a examination commitee at their job or something. It makes feel peopleput on the spot, while before they were making casual convo where accuracy didn't matter, they now suddenly find that someone (the XJ) is evaluating their statements, which makes them insecure and / or defensive and takes the "fun" and "casualness" out of the situation.

    This might be why INTJs are known as "killjoys", ENTJs can somewhat compensate with tertiary Se, which makes them look "action-oriented" and "fun".
    SJs probably have an easier time since they feel at home in conventional social situations and don't project Te+awckwardness like NJs do.

  3. #53
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    Quote Originally Posted by gromit View Post
    Hm... can you give me an example of where one person uses Te and then another person freezes up in response to it? Then maybe I can imagine better.
    Ok here are some examples


    1. The other person wants to have a small talk , light conversation while I am pushing / want more serious conversation. Especially if I get the impression that the other person is running away from problems.


    2. I just come to a person draw its attention and say that I have his/her noticed problem and how much it trouble his or her. And then I offer solutions.



    I know that by social codex this is not something you should do.
    However I am wondering where exactly is the problem. (from perspective of other people)

  4. #54
    psicobolche tcda's Avatar
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    Not really, I find Te useful in reasonable measures.

    I'm more wary of Ni. The Te side of NTJs is the side I get on better with.
    "Of course we spent our money in the good times. That's what you're supposed to do in good times! You can't save money in the good times. Then they wouldn't be good times, they'd be 'preparation for the bad times' times."

    "Every country in the world owes money. Everyone. So heere's what I dont get: who do they all owe it to, and why don't we just kill the bastard and relax?"

    -Tommy Tiernan, Irish comedian.

  5. #55
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    Quote Originally Posted by Antisocial one View Post
    Ok here are some examples


    1. The other person wants to have a small talk , light conversation while I am pushing / want more serious conversation. Especially if I get the impression that the other person is running away from problems.


    2. I just come to a person draw its attention and say that I have his/her noticed problem and how much it trouble his or her. And then I offer solutions.



    I know that by social codex this is not something you should do.
    However I am wondering where exactly is the problem. (from perspective of other people)
    Okay, let’s see… for me I typically do find myself a little surprised in this type of situation, usually taken aback, because it’s not how most people would respond to small talk. I wouldn’t necessarily think that’s a bad thing, though. It could lead to some very interesting conversations. But it can definitely be surprising, particularly in a light-hearted situation like a party or something. And as for a situation where somebody is offering me unsolicited advice… I guess it would depend if I was actively trying to solve the problem or not. In general, if I’m trying to solve a problem then I look for any type of insight into it that I can find, from any source. However, if it is not something that I have recognized as a problem, then I may or may not appreciate someone bringing it to my attention and telling me what they think I should do about it.

    I guess a good way of thinking of this type of thing is that it’s like training for a physical activity. Let’s say you are going to do a triathlon. You need to prepare for it, you need to lift weights and go running/swimming/biking in the months leading up to it, and you need to be sure to eat proper food and get enough sleep too. It takes awhile to get to the point where your body is capable of performing at that level. And some people need less time to train for such physical activity than others. Some people have an easier time with one part of the process than another.

    You can think of it the same way with being emotionally ready to deal with a situation. I think people tend to need some time to adjust to the idea that it actually is a problem. This can take a lot of effort for some people. there’s a lot that goes into it, mentally and emotionally leading up to the change (for some) beside actually making the change. It involves shifting around different priorities, their world view, their understanding of themselves… it takes time and energy, and it can be frightening. Imagine the time and effort training for the race, but now applied inside of a person. Just like you cannot make somebody get into physical shape for the triathlon (the only person who can do that is themselves), you cannot force a person to be ready to make a change in their lifestyle or perceptions…

    One other thing is the idea of authority. People may not perceive you as having the knowledge into their situation and their context to give them advice, therefore they may not listen to it. Or people may not trust your insight because they do not trust you as a person. Obviously I am speaking in generalities here, I do not know you and I am not saying you aren’t trustworthy. In fact you seem very sincere in understanding other people.

    Another thing could be that deep down the person is getting some sort of perverse pleasure out of the situation. I know people who are like that, actually. They bemoan their condition but actually they secretly love it. I don’t know why people feel that pleasure though. Probably because it reinforces beliefs they have about themselves or something and because it’s easier than trying to do something about it.

    I have no idea if any of this is helpful or not.
    Your kisses, sweeter than honey. But guess what, so is my money.

  6. #56
    Tier 1 Member LunaLuminosity's Avatar
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    I do pretty well with my own Te, since it is either in the 3rd or 4th place. It is enough to keep me moving, and enough to collide with a bit of my tendencies to still have that sort of 'chill perceiver' outlook...

    But I am around a lot of Te dominants, and even more Te auxillaries, and just the pureness of the Te from the ExTJs in my life almost leaves me shaking. Sometimes if they are harsh on me, I can just go and 'Te' back at them, but mine is no match, and then of course I resort to a TiFi blend reason for why to back off, and I just get the rolled eyes and the 'just do it.'

    In theory, Te can be pretty awesome, but sometimes IRL it is just too overwhelming.

  7. #57
    Senior Member King sns's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Antisocial one View Post
    Same topic as in Fe thread, it is just this one is about Te.


    How do you get along with this function in yourself and how do you handle it in other people ?
    I like it and need it in myself. I wouldn't be able to "function" without it.

    Eh hem.

    Puns aside, in other people I'm not "wary" per se. Usually I can appreciate and admire it. If someone is a very overbearing unhealthy Te dom it will put me on the defense and make me unrationally angry.
    06/13 10:51:03 five sounds: you!!!
    06/13 10:51:08 shortnsweet: no you!!
    06/13 10:51:12 shortnsweet: go do your things and my things too!
    06/13 10:51:23 five sounds: oh hell naw
    06/13 10:51:55 shortnsweet: !!!!
    06/13 10:51:57 shortnsweet: (cries)
    06/13 10:52:19 RiftsWRX: You two are like furbies stuck in a shoe box

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  8. #58
    Senior Member King sns's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by gromit View Post
    Hm... can you give me an example of where one person uses Te and then another person freezes up in response to it? Then maybe I can imagine better.
    My ex ENTJ tried to plan my day for me a couple of times. I had studying to do which he was unaware of, and since he knew I needed to buy a car, he looked up all these cars online and said, "In the morning you should go here, and then stop by your old apartment to pick stuff up.." and so on, he had my day planned for me with no studying involved and planned so that I would be home in time for dinner. When I didn't follow the plan, he got really frustrated with me. That's an example of unhealthy Te pushed onto someone else.

    No one will appreciate that- (or any unhealthy function for that matter.)
    In this case I lashed out at him when he got home and was angry.

    (On a more positive note, a Te dom may be able to do all of that for themselves and have a car by the end of the day and be back home and dinner made by five.)
    06/13 10:51:03 five sounds: you!!!
    06/13 10:51:08 shortnsweet: no you!!
    06/13 10:51:12 shortnsweet: go do your things and my things too!
    06/13 10:51:23 five sounds: oh hell naw
    06/13 10:51:55 shortnsweet: !!!!
    06/13 10:51:57 shortnsweet: (cries)
    06/13 10:52:19 RiftsWRX: You two are like furbies stuck in a shoe box

    My Nohari
    My Johari
    by sns.

  9. #59
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    Quote Originally Posted by Antisocial one View Post
    Same topic as in Fe thread, it is just this one is about Te.


    How do you get along with this function in yourself and how do you handle it in other people ?
    As a general rule (Te thang) I get along better with Te/Fi-users than Ti/Fe-users.

    I am currently working with an ESTJ and we're getting along swimmingly...

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