• You are currently viewing our forum as a guest, which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our free community, you will have access to additional post topics, communicate privately with other members (PM), view blogs, respond to polls, upload content, and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free, so please join our community today! Just click here to register. You should turn your Ad Blocker off for this site or certain features may not work properly. If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact us by clicking here.

Are you wary of Fe?

lamp

New member
Joined
Jul 8, 2009
Messages
528
If I am understanding it correctly, Fe is pretty interesting because it is both sincere but also aimed at indirectly encouraging an individual to act a certain way. Seems like Fe, for example, alters my mood to make me more or less likely to do something. So instead of a friend saying "yes, I think you should do this", that friend would instead make me feel comfortable about doing something.

I think what I am saying is that I do not notice another's Fe modifying my actions until I do something, whereas with a direct suggestion I seem to realize immediately that I am considering acting outside of my 'comfort zone'.
 

Kasper

Diabolical
Joined
May 30, 2008
Messages
11,590
MBTI Type
ENTP
Enneagram
9w8
Instinctual Variant
so/sx
Moved from Bonfire.
 

Amargith

Hotel California
Joined
Nov 5, 2008
Messages
14,717
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
4dw
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
Unhealthy Fe does very much show up on my built-in lie-detector, yes.
 

Fluffywolf

Nips away your dignity
Joined
Mar 31, 2009
Messages
9,581
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
9
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
Generally, I am not wary of Fe in others, in fact I seem to enjoy Fe in others.

But I am wary of Fe in myself.
 

jenocyde

half mystic, half skeksis
Joined
Jan 2, 2009
Messages
6,387
MBTI Type
ENTP
Enneagram
7w8
Same as fluff, of course. I like it in others. I like people who think of others and don't put themselves before others. I love those who sacrifice themselves for the greater good. I appreciate those who honor loyalty and faithfulness to a cause, and not just to their personal whim. Those willing to "take one for the team".

Because F is extroverted, it can be seen as manipulative, the same way that Te is seen as controlling. But I've recently begun to go easy on these functions and open my mind to the fact that there may not be a grand scheme. They just honestly think they are helping.

Actually, Fi shows up in my bullshit detectors... funny!
 

Thalassa

Permabanned
Joined
May 3, 2009
Messages
25,183
MBTI Type
ISFP
Enneagram
6w7
Instinctual Variant
sx
I think all cognitive functions can be used for good or for ill. Fe has some wonderful qualities, such as caring for others, keeping social harmony, and maintaining the "niceties" of life in terms of others. The world would be a sadder place without Fe.

That being said, I sometimes find Fe dominant people extremely annoying, even draining, in real life. They thrive upon the attention of other people, and sometimes try to make others feel guilty for not wanting to give him or her attention or be more "people focused." Then there's the manipulative factor sometimes, yes.
 

Domino

ENFJ In Chains
Joined
Nov 5, 2007
Messages
11,429
MBTI Type
eNFJ
Enneagram
4w3
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
Actually, Fi shows up in my bullshit detectors... funny!

ha, same here.

The paranoid distrust directed at Fe makes me laugh and laugh.

And then laugh some more.

Sometimes for two whole minutes.

And then the inevitable hiccups.

Dang. The hiccups.
 

cascadeco

New member
Joined
Oct 7, 2007
Messages
9,083
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
9w1
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
If I am understanding it correctly, Fe is pretty interesting because it is both sincere but also aimed at indirectly encouraging an individual to act a certain way. Seems like Fe, for example, alters my mood to make me more or less likely to do something. So instead of a friend saying "yes, I think you should do this", that friend would instead make me feel comfortable about doing something.

I think what I am saying is that I do not notice another's Fe modifying my actions until I do something, whereas with a direct suggestion I seem to realize immediately that I am considering acting outside of my 'comfort zone'.

I guess it is interesting, and there seems to be a fundamental difference/approach in Fe vs Fi. (But there are millions of threads on here about that!)

What others see/interpret as 'encouraging an individual to act a certain way', or as manipulative, or whatever, from my eyes/intent really isn't the case most of the time (but certainly it's the case sometimes! But the same could be said of non-Fe users, and their forms of manipulation).

But I do think it's important to point out that those who utilize Fe as a TOOL, vs. those who are naturally disposed to it, will probably be utilizing Fe in a very superficial way, without the same underlying motivation that Fe-dom's really have - thus the person using it as a tool, or a means to an end, will come across as manipulative, probably, or fake, or whatever. Also, the nature of Fe (individual's motivation, methods of use, whatever) will obviously differ depending on how prominent Fe is in the person (primary? somewhere beyond primary?)

The way I *think* I utilize Fe on my end is simply to actively listen to others and inquire into others, out of a desire to better understand why others think the way they do, and act the way they do. I want to make others comfortable and at ease, so I may adjust my conversational style so that I am better able to engage that person on their level. Or I attempt to do this. I also seek some sort of 'connection', so will try to seek out and build upon commonalities, rather than bringing my differences to the forefront.

I can totally see how those who prefer Fi would not care for the Fe approach. But to be perfectly honest, Fi-dom's have their own unique flavor of manipulation that is as distasteful/uncomfortable to me as Fe would be to a non-Fe user. I've certainly felt it on my end, and I often times feel more 'pressure' from FP's towards me, where they're trying to change me to be more spontaneous, more 'free', whatever, and they in their way try to tweak me to be closer to how they approach things - they, the supposed non-judgers, judge me. ;-P (don't confuse this paragraph with the fact that I really do like/appreciate FP's, and have some close friends who are FP's)

It's definitely interesting.
 

proteanmix

Plumage and Moult
Joined
Apr 23, 2007
Messages
5,514
Enneagram
1w2
ha, same here.

The paranoid distrust directed at Fe makes me laugh and laugh.

And then laugh some more.

Sometimes for two whole minutes.

And then the inevitable hiccups.

Dang. The hiccups.

Hiccups? After I'm done laughing I throw up in my mouth a little bit. I mean the complaints aren't even original any more, it's like ctrl+c, ctrl+v.
 

Domino

ENFJ In Chains
Joined
Nov 5, 2007
Messages
11,429
MBTI Type
eNFJ
Enneagram
4w3
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
One of the most manipulative people I ever met was an ISTJ. No Fe, and a Si-Te primary.

Figure that one out!


Hiccups? After I'm done laughing I throw up in my mouth a little bit. I mean the complaints aren't even original any more, it's like ctrl+c, ctrl+v.

I'm finding it grating and tiresome as well.
 

poppy

triple nerd score
Joined
May 30, 2009
Messages
2,215
MBTI Type
intj
Enneagram
5
Fe gives me the willies. It usually seems invasive and clingy and sometimes insincere (at least when it's directed at me). I do wonder if people who prefer Ti don't react similarly to Te directed at them, because it probably seems comparably invasive (I realize this is not a thread about Te/Ti but since T and F are both judging functions, and I use Te, it helps me imagine what it might be like to have strong Fe).
 

Fluffywolf

Nips away your dignity
Joined
Mar 31, 2009
Messages
9,581
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
9
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
Probably the same reason Fe shows up in Amar's bs detector - I just don't understand it.

Well, my fi isn't dominant nor secundary. I only seem to use it when I'm going through tough times. To get things in perspective in order to move on.

Since it is very irrational to be whiny and annoying.

Like Tifi. Has a ring to it.

But I can relate to Fi being a bit odd when very dominant in a person. They can get really irrational opinions and like totally back it up. Which can be very 'wtf'. (Not in all people.)
 

The Outsider

New member
Joined
Feb 3, 2009
Messages
2,418
MBTI Type
intp
Enneagram
5w4
Instinctual Variant
sx
I am not distrustful of Fe. It can be a tad annoying, but I usually take it with humor and appreciate the differences in thinking.
 

lamp

New member
Joined
Jul 8, 2009
Messages
528
I want to make others comfortable and at ease, so I may adjust my conversational style so that I am better able to engage that person on their level.
I think this is my 'fear' of Fe: actually being more comfortable in a situation than I consciously think I am, and in turn surprising myself when I volunteer something personal. Hopefully I do not think afterwards, "that was premature to say".
 
Top