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  1. #201
    Scream down the boulevard LadyJaye's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kalach View Post
    Well in that case...

    these questions are a wee, just a little tiny bit, disingenuous.

    Tiny bit.

    Liddle.

    Really small.


    .



    How come?

    No, apparently you're incapable of comprehending or answering straight forward and easily understood questions.

  2. #202
    Glowy Goopy Goodness The_Liquid_Laser's Avatar
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    (I seem to be doing pretty well at killing threads lately, so lets see what I can do with this one.)

    Fe is the function that lets other people know that you care about them. In my personal experience it must be the most well intentioned function of them all. Usually my "problems" with Fe comes from Te users trying to mimic Fe. In particular female ExTJ's grow up in the social world that females live in, so they learn all of the Fe conventions, but they have no values underneath that give meaning to the conventions. So for female Te users the conventions are just ways to manipulate people and gain status rather than ways to communicate their values to other people.

    Also both Fe and Te are oriented toward group dynamics, but

    Te will often say, "Our group is special. That is why you are not included."
    While Fe will say, "Our group is special. That is why I want you to be included."

    Really most problems in the social world seem to come from Te imitators rather than Fe users. That's just my experience anyway.
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  3. #203
    Dreaming the life onemoretime's Avatar
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    ^^ There's also a problem when a Fe dominant goes "our group is special. I want you to act more like this because you're part of our special group" - needless to say, can be very annoying

  4. #204
    Filthy Apes! Kalach's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by LadyJaye View Post
    No, apparently you're incapable of comprehending or answering straight forward and easily understood questions.
    Oh, please.

    I seem to recall a type description somewhere. It mentioned mediocre people skills, usually deployed for unremarkable purposes, social graces mostly.

    Which doesn't really account for the raw hunger of an Fe Dom, but hey, puppies are cute.


    So, yep, it is fear.

    And illegitimate?

  5. #205
    Revelation Lauren Ashley's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by The_Liquid_Laser View Post
    Fe is the function that lets other people know that you care about them.
    Best definition so far.

  6. #206
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    Fe is the function that lets other people know that you care about them.
    That is a nice definition, although Fe is no more well-intentioned than any other. At it's core it is the function of emotional expression and reading the emotional expressions of others.

    I will admit that I am heavily biased against it if it is being used by ESTPs. It always comes across as false, mean, or very manipulative to me. Thankfully I now realize that a lot of my reaction is type-based and says nothing about the character of the other person or the nature of ESTPs or extraverted feeling, just my reaction to them. My reaction is saying something about me and not about them, I know that. For me the most useful explanation is the one offered by Socionics.

  7. #207
    Senior Member sculpting's Avatar
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    Okay I have another scenario

    A long tern friend-an ISFJ sits in my office and starts talking about how she will need to get transfusions of IV meds to treat her rhumatoid arthritus. She always talks about this and then pauses waiting for me to say something....

    However her case is very, very mild, and her pain very, very mild.

    From my perspective I would not share this info with others as I would feel like I was seeking self pity. I feel like I have to deal with these things myself and not share. Thus when she does this I feel annoyed as I feel like she is looking for attention. In light of the Fe/Fi, I think I am perceiving her intentions incorrectly.

    What is she looking for me to say and why is she telling me without feeling like an attention whore when she does this?

    Thanks happy Fe's!!

  8. #208
    Once Was Synarch's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ne-Monster View Post

    What is she looking for me to say and why is she telling me without feeling like an attention whore when she does this?

    Thanks happy Fe's!!
    "That sucks."
    "Create like a god, command like a king, work like a slave."

  9. #209
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ne-Monster View Post
    Okay I have another scenario

    A long tern friend-an ISFJ sits in my office and starts talking about how she will need to get transfusions of IV meds to treat her rhumatoid arthritus. She always talks about this and then pauses waiting for me to say something....

    However her case is very, very mild, and her pain very, very mild.
    How can you judge this? You aren't inside her skin to feel what it feels like for her.


    What is she looking for me to say and why is she telling me without feeling like an attention whore when she does this?

    Thanks happy Fe's!!
    I am not Fe but I do experience chronic illness and when I tell people around me that I am not feeling well, I am looking for them to understand me, why I might be quiet or slow or unable to do something, I am afraid of not measuring up, letting someone's expectations down...but rarely do I get true understanding. Mostly I get a load of heavy sympathy at first and then serious compassion fatigue later.

    BTW, if she's a long-term "friend" what does it matter if she's feeling blue or scared and wants some attention? RA can be hell.

  10. #210
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    Quote Originally Posted by The_Liquid_Laser View Post
    (I seem to be doing pretty well at killing threads lately, so lets see what I can do with this one.)

    Fe is the function that lets other people know that you care about them.
    I'm hesitant to agree. It seems that if one person "speaks Fe" and another does not, then the perception will be that the other doesn't care.

    I'm in a situation right now where an unhealthy Fe-dominant is seemingly trying to measure our friendship by the number of favors he can get me to do. Since I see through what he's trying to do, I simply refuse to play.

    He also always seems miffed by the fact that I really don't ask him for any favors--that there's nothing he really can do for me.

    It's how he connects to people, but it's not how I do.

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