What others see/interpret as 'encouraging an individual to act a certain way', or as manipulative, or whatever, from my eyes/intent really isn't the case most of the time (but certainly it's the case sometimes! But the same could be said of non-Fe users, and their forms of manipulation).
But I do think it's important to point out that those who utilize Fe as a TOOL, vs. those who are naturally disposed to it, will probably be utilizing Fe in a very superficial way, without the same underlying motivation that Fe-dom's really have - thus the person using it as a tool, or a means to an end, will come across as manipulative, probably, or fake, or whatever. Also, the nature of Fe (individual's motivation, methods of use, whatever) will obviously differ depending on how prominent Fe is in the person (primary? somewhere beyond primary?)
The way I *think* I utilize Fe on my end is simply to actively listen to others and inquire into others, out of a desire to better understand why others think the way they do, and act the way they do. I want to make others comfortable and at ease, so I may adjust my conversational style so that I am better able to engage that person on their level. Or I attempt to do this. I also seek some sort of 'connection', so will try to seek out and build upon commonalities, rather than bringing my differences to the forefront.
I can totally see how those who prefer Fi would not care for the Fe approach. But to be perfectly honest, Fi-dom's have their own unique flavor of manipulation that is as distasteful/uncomfortable to me as Fe would be to a non-Fe user. I've certainly felt it on my end, and I often times feel more 'pressure' from FP's towards me, where they're trying to change me to be more spontaneous, more 'free', whatever, and they in their way try to tweak me to be closer to how they approach things - they, the supposed non-judgers, judge me. ;-P (don't confuse this paragraph with the fact that I really do like/appreciate FP's, and have some close friends who are FP's)
It's definitely interesting.