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  1. #11
    4x9 cascadeco's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lamp View Post
    If I am understanding it correctly, Fe is pretty interesting because it is both sincere but also aimed at indirectly encouraging an individual to act a certain way. Seems like Fe, for example, alters my mood to make me more or less likely to do something. So instead of a friend saying "yes, I think you should do this", that friend would instead make me feel comfortable about doing something.

    I think what I am saying is that I do not notice another's Fe modifying my actions until I do something, whereas with a direct suggestion I seem to realize immediately that I am considering acting outside of my 'comfort zone'.
    I guess it is interesting, and there seems to be a fundamental difference/approach in Fe vs Fi. (But there are millions of threads on here about that!)

    What others see/interpret as 'encouraging an individual to act a certain way', or as manipulative, or whatever, from my eyes/intent really isn't the case most of the time (but certainly it's the case sometimes! But the same could be said of non-Fe users, and their forms of manipulation).

    But I do think it's important to point out that those who utilize Fe as a TOOL, vs. those who are naturally disposed to it, will probably be utilizing Fe in a very superficial way, without the same underlying motivation that Fe-dom's really have - thus the person using it as a tool, or a means to an end, will come across as manipulative, probably, or fake, or whatever. Also, the nature of Fe (individual's motivation, methods of use, whatever) will obviously differ depending on how prominent Fe is in the person (primary? somewhere beyond primary?)

    The way I *think* I utilize Fe on my end is simply to actively listen to others and inquire into others, out of a desire to better understand why others think the way they do, and act the way they do. I want to make others comfortable and at ease, so I may adjust my conversational style so that I am better able to engage that person on their level. Or I attempt to do this. I also seek some sort of 'connection', so will try to seek out and build upon commonalities, rather than bringing my differences to the forefront.

    I can totally see how those who prefer Fi would not care for the Fe approach. But to be perfectly honest, Fi-dom's have their own unique flavor of manipulation that is as distasteful/uncomfortable to me as Fe would be to a non-Fe user. I've certainly felt it on my end, and I often times feel more 'pressure' from FP's towards me, where they're trying to change me to be more spontaneous, more 'free', whatever, and they in their way try to tweak me to be closer to how they approach things - they, the supposed non-judgers, judge me. ;-P (don't confuse this paragraph with the fact that I really do like/appreciate FP's, and have some close friends who are FP's)

    It's definitely interesting.
    "...On and on and on and on he strode, far out over the sands, singing wildly to the sea, crying to greet the advent of the life that had cried to him." - James Joyce

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  2. #12
    Plumage and Moult proteanmix's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PinkPiranha View Post
    ha, same here.

    The paranoid distrust directed at Fe makes me laugh and laugh.

    And then laugh some more.

    Sometimes for two whole minutes.

    And then the inevitable hiccups.

    Dang. The hiccups.
    Hiccups? After I'm done laughing I throw up in my mouth a little bit. I mean the complaints aren't even original any more, it's like ctrl+c, ctrl+v.
    Relationships have normal ebbs and flows. They do not automatically get better and better when the participants learn more and more about each other. Instead, the participants have to work through the tensions of the relationship (the dialectic) while they learn and group themselves and a parties in a relationships. At times the relationships is very open and sharing. Other time, one or both parties to the relationship need their space, or have other concerns, and the relationship is less open. The theory posits that these cycles occur throughout the life of the relationship as the persons try to balance their needs for privacy and open relationship.
    Interpersonal Communication Theories and Concepts
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  3. #13
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    One of the most manipulative people I ever met was an ISTJ. No Fe, and a Si-Te primary.

    Figure that one out!


    Hiccups? After I'm done laughing I throw up in my mouth a little bit. I mean the complaints aren't even original any more, it's like ctrl+c, ctrl+v.
    I'm finding it grating and tiresome as well.
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
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  4. #14
    triple nerd score poppy's Avatar
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    Fe gives me the willies. It usually seems invasive and clingy and sometimes insincere (at least when it's directed at me). I do wonder if people who prefer Ti don't react similarly to Te directed at them, because it probably seems comparably invasive (I realize this is not a thread about Te/Ti but since T and F are both judging functions, and I use Te, it helps me imagine what it might be like to have strong Fe).
    "There's no need to be embarrassed about it, Mr. Spock. It happens to the birds and the bees!"

  5. #15
    Emerging Tallulah's Avatar
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    I'm with jeno; I'm much more distrustful of Fi.
    Something Witty

  6. #16
    Revelation Lauren Ashley's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jenocyde View Post
    Actually, Fi shows up in my bullshit detectors... funny!
    Quote Originally Posted by Tallulah View Post
    I'm with jeno; I'm much more distrustful of Fi.
    Why are you distrustful of Fi, if you don't mind me asking?

  7. #17
    half mystic, half skeksis jenocyde's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lauren Ashley View Post
    Why are you distrustful of Fi, if you don't mind me asking?
    Probably the same reason Fe shows up in Amar's bs detector - I just don't understand it.

  8. #18
    Nips away your dignity Fluffywolf's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jenocyde View Post
    Probably the same reason Fe shows up in Amar's bs detector - I just don't understand it.
    Well, my fi isn't dominant nor secundary. I only seem to use it when I'm going through tough times. To get things in perspective in order to move on.

    Since it is very irrational to be whiny and annoying.

    Like Tifi. Has a ring to it.

    But I can relate to Fi being a bit odd when very dominant in a person. They can get really irrational opinions and like totally back it up. Which can be very 'wtf'. (Not in all people.)
    ~Self-depricating Megalomaniacal Superwolf

  9. #19
    Senior Member The Outsider's Avatar
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    I am not distrustful of Fe. It can be a tad annoying, but I usually take it with humor and appreciate the differences in thinking.

  10. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by cascadeco View Post
    I want to make others comfortable and at ease, so I may adjust my conversational style so that I am better able to engage that person on their level.
    I think this is my 'fear' of Fe: actually being more comfortable in a situation than I consciously think I am, and in turn surprising myself when I volunteer something personal. Hopefully I do not think afterwards, "that was premature to say".

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