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Those Crazy Introverts... I just don't get them...

Joined
Sep 8, 2007
Messages
170
MBTI Type
ISTJ
How is it that so many introverts such as myself don't like too much company for too much time because it causes overstimulation; and yet we (or at least I) can spend several hours a day in a place like this having many rather stimulating conversations with so many people and not sweat it?
 

Athenian200

Protocol Droid
Joined
Jul 1, 2007
Messages
8,828
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
4w5
Mainly because they aren't in our immediate space, and we don't feel pressure to keep them entertained or be focused on doing something the whole time. Also, we can withdraw and think about what we'll say, while in real life, we just have to say whatever comes to mind and live with the consequences. Finally, if we did make a mistake and everyone came to hate us, we could just leave everything behind.

So...

1. Less intrusive.

2. Lower likelihood of error.

3. Weaker consequences in event of error.

What do you think?
 

Mycroft

The elder Holmes
Joined
Jun 7, 2007
Messages
1,068
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5w6
Instinctual Variant
so/sp
How is it that so many introverts such as myself don't like too much company for too much time because it causes overstimulation; and yet we (or at least I) can spend several hours a day in a place like this having many rather stimulating conversations with so many people and not sweat it?

Because talking and communicating are two entirely separate things.
 

Recluse

New member
Joined
Sep 3, 2007
Messages
213
MBTI Type
INXP
I read far more threads than I reply to, and then I say very little. There are degrees of introversion. I keep myself to myself, even on forums.
 

ptgatsby

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 24, 2007
Messages
4,476
MBTI Type
ISTP
IMO, degree of sensory input. When communicating in person, the amount of information that needs to be processed changes. The cues that we get are overwhelming for us, whereas Es get charged on it. (Think of it like adding salt to a solution... Is can get super-saturated and collapse while Es don't have enough salt to start with and take a lot before they reach their limit).
 

Totenkindly

@.~*virinaĉo*~.@
Joined
Apr 19, 2007
Messages
50,192
MBTI Type
BELF
Enneagram
594
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
IMO, degree of sensory input. When communicating in person, the amount of information that needs to be processed changes. The cues that we get are overwhelming for us, whereas Es get charged on it.

Uh huh, it's basically all stimulation to the nervous system, and introverts just cannot deal with as much as extroverts can. We need time away, to get everything together and let things dissipate. Meanwhile, extroverts enjoy the stimulation and it wakes them up for even more; without it, they tend to run out of gas...

1. Less intrusive.
2. Lower likelihood of error.
3. Weaker consequences in event of error.

Yes, and much of it can be summed up with "being in control of the interaction." Online, I can control very quickly and easily how much stimulation I'm getting and how much energy I am expending. If I need space, I just get up and go away. And I only need to respond to someone after I have thought out my answer.

Real-life conversations can cause anxiety because it is all real-time, I don't get to edit what I say, and I can't just leave or stop communicating without first negotiating that change with the other people in the conversation (without being considered rude).
 

ptgatsby

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 24, 2007
Messages
4,476
MBTI Type
ISTP
Uh huh, it's basically all stimulation to the nervous system, and introverts just cannot deal with as much as extroverts can. We need time away, to get everything together and let things dissipate. Meanwhile, extroverts enjoy the stimulation and it wakes them up for even more; without it, they tend to run out of gas...

It's worth reading this exchange on the biology behind introversion. It's quite counter intuitive when taken as a whole but, IMO, should show why I push Is to be a little bit more like Es, much to the dismay of many here :D
 

Zergling

Permabanned
Joined
Apr 26, 2007
Messages
1,377
MBTI Type
ExTJ
Talking directly with people requires thinking in real time in order to work out what to say, whereas on the computer there's more time to process information and figure out what to say. (This may overlap with the stuff described above.)
 

ygolo

My termites win
Joined
Aug 6, 2007
Messages
5,988
Oral communication requires putting your thoughts into a sequence other people can understand.

When I am writing, I can change the order that things are presented to (hopefully) make more sense to people.

My thought pattern can seem very random or chaotic in oral communication. Still, I think there is some method to it.
 

INTJMom

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 28, 2007
Messages
5,413
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
5w4
Mainly because they aren't in our immediate space, and we don't feel pressure to keep them entertained or be focused on doing something the whole time. Also, we can withdraw and think about what we'll say, while in real life, we just have to say whatever comes to mind and live with the consequences. Finally, if we did make a mistake and everyone came to hate us, we could just leave everything behind.

So...

1. Less intrusive.

2. Lower likelihood of error.

3. Weaker consequences in event of error.

What do you think?
I agree.

I like having an intellectual discussion,
but I am in my nice quiet room.
I get the mental stim and not the physical stim.
 

riel

New member
Joined
Dec 14, 2008
Messages
204
MBTI Type
ISFP
IMO, degree of sensory input. When communicating in person, the amount of information that needs to be processed changes. The cues that we get are overwhelming for us, whereas Es get charged on it. (Think of it like adding salt to a solution... Is can get super-saturated and collapse while Es don't have enough salt to start with and take a lot before they reach their limit).

Yeah, you're right. I have an extremely extroverted friend who talks most of the time. The problem is, she keeps saying the same things all over again, while I'm still thinking of some new thing to discuss with her. She can be overwhelming sometimes, but I treasure her as a friend because of her frankness and outspoken manner.
 

BlackCat

Shaman
Joined
Nov 19, 2008
Messages
7,038
MBTI Type
ESFP
Enneagram
9w8
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
My mom is an ENFP, and she just won't shut up. I can't take all of what she's saying and I eventually get a headache (she will talk for an hour or more if you let her, I get a headache after 15 minutes straight of it), and because of the fact that I can't listen to her for longer than 15 minutes she thinks that I hate her and never want to hear anything she has to say. She scares everyone off this way and takes personal offense when they don't want to deal with her again. I get a headache after 15 minutes because she will change the topic she's talking about 5 times and all the while she's talking I will try to think of a response, but I just can't add anything in because she will change topic and won't stop talking. I think this is because she gets cooped up at work all week and when I go to her house for the weekend (dads for the week days) she wants to talk. But why me?! She has friends! She does this with all of her friends and everyone she talks to, most of her friends are extroverts though so they will start talking while she is so she is forced to be quiet. But I just can't do that, I don't think that way (I think it's rude). When I try to get any point across she will start talking over me if she in any way disagrees with it. If we are talking about something important I tell her "if you don't let me talk then I will just leave."

How can ANYONE have the need to talk that much? It's so confusing to me. Her extreme extroversion (it shows in other places too) is pretty much destroying our relationship.
 

Lady_X

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 27, 2008
Messages
18,235
MBTI Type
ENFP
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784
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
whoa black cat! i only know one person like that...i don't know her type...probably esfj?? i'm not sure but i hate that too...she's a great friend of mine and i love her to pieces but my god it's frustrating sitting through monologues...conversations are supposed to flow both ways. i'm very conscious of talking too much and at some point it must have become really important for me not too because i really don't...it may have had something to do with growing up with that girl as my best friend....hmmm....i can imagine how annoying that is for you!

i think i'm the type of extravert that likes to make other people talk....which also may be annoying...i have no idea.
 

d@v3

Perfect Gentleman! =D
Joined
Nov 20, 2008
Messages
2,830
MBTI Type
ISTJ
How is it that so many introverts such as myself don't like too much company for too much time because it causes overstimulation; and yet we (or at least I) can spend several hours a day in a place like this having many rather stimulating conversations with so many people and not sweat it?

We can leave any time we want, we don't HAVE to be here.

We don't have to see the others face to face.

We can do other things whilst talking with them.

....on top of all the other reasons posters have listed... :yes:
 

Unique

New member
Joined
Oct 14, 2008
Messages
1,702
How is it that so many introverts such as myself don't like too much company for too much time because it causes overstimulation; and yet we (or at least I) can spend several hours a day in a place like this having many rather stimulating conversations with so many people and not sweat it?

The interwebz isn't real... you're actually talking to robots
*freaky music plays*
 
L

Lasting_Pain

Guest
How is it that so many introverts such as myself don't like too much company for too much time because it causes overstimulation; and yet we (or at least I) can spend several hours a day in a place like this having many rather stimulating conversations with so many people and not sweat it?

Lacks the physical connection. Internet is rather impersonal.
 

aguanile

New member
Joined
Jul 25, 2008
Messages
132
MBTI Type
IXXP
Enneagram
4w5
If you really can't get away my personal favourite is zoning out.

I zone out all the time. It has been referred to as "staring through people." Just can't help it.

In my mind, I am thinking, "get to the point, please." Too much stim!
 

Doppleganger

New member
Joined
Sep 29, 2008
Messages
161
MBTI Type
IxtP
Enneagram
5w4
I read far more threads than I reply to, and then I say very little. There are degrees of introversion. I keep myself to myself, even on forums.

Yeah, me too. Some people here have more posts than I do on 10+ different forums combined.
 
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