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directing vs informing

wren

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infj
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I know I'm new here and this is kind of a blunt way of conversing with you, but there was a thread about friendship and the differences between INFP and INFJ in responding to need that got me to wondering (good thread btw).

When I hear about informing and directing styles as a way of knowing myself in a MBTI fashion (Berens?), it came to me that I wanted to know how it felt for those who find themselves on the receiving end of communication, if you read intent similarly as you supposedly send a message to another?

If you are an informing type, do you get the message better when someone wants you to do something if the directive or request is couched in a nuanced manner, or conversely, if you are a directing type, do you listen or understand more readily when the need or desire is directly stated?

For me I'm not sure. It depends on the context of the situation, relationship, my mood, etc.
 

entropie

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Depends on the context of the situation and my mood
 

ladyinspring

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I'm an informing type. I'd say it depends on the context but there are patterns. One of the patterns is that when under stress I prefer direct information, but if I am not stressed than too much direct communication may make me stressed. Seems kind of weird but that's how it is.

According to Linda Berens, when under strong pressure or extreme stress, each of the communication types exhibits the behaviors of the opposite. This is in harmony with "shadow type" theories that say we can appear like our opposite type under stress. So I am naturally an informing behind-the-scenes type who would prefer to communicate information and not directives. But I know for a fact that if I'm in a bad mood or if there is too much going on I can't STAND for anyone else to use informing language and I can become very bossy (and not in a productive way, more in a way that ticks people off). In other words, my opposite, the in-charge directing type.

On the other hand, an in-charge type might become seemingly weak and passive-aggressive under a lot of stress. I really hate when they do that. It's like they feel no one was doing what they wanted, no one was listening, and they weren't getting what they want so they start being very vague and fake even though you KNOW they definitely have a preference for how things should go. Or they just kind of zone out and check out of the process. I see this all the time on reality competitions like "The Amazing Race" which seems to attract a far number of people who like to be in charge. When their partners aren't cooperating they become eerily noncommittal and weak.

I know a lot of informing extroverts, or get-things-going types. My ESFP friend is a high school teacher and she had a really rough year. For months she wasn't herself. The parents and students kept reporting back that she was non-communicative and very rigid. This is in stark contrast to when she taught at a primary school which she loved. She got everyone involved and was flexible.
 

BlackCat

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ESFP
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9w8
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
I'm a director. I think that this relates more to enneagram than MBTI.
 

entropie

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what am I ? Director or informant ? :D
 

wren

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When I consider myself in regards to the subject, I feel like I've tended to like directive styles for the most part. I do not take orders well that are objectionable or when the person doesn't have good reasoning for me. I just rebel. But I have a hard time doing something for someone who simply hints at me, like some poor waif, who isn't, just needs a kick in the butt.

When someone needs something from in a real way, like world impoverished children, it makes more of an impact if they inform me, rather than command me to give. I just turn off from demanding poor kids.

On the other hand, I love it when someone close to me tells me what they need in no uncertain terms because I'm really good at doing many things, especially everyday one on one needs. I wouldn't like someone to give me hemming and hawing. Or if someone didn't know what they liked, that might possibly put me over the edge of keeping the relationship together.

In terms of personal matters, overall, I prefer direct communication, but on a social level I prefer more informing, I think. Maybe it's related to the bodily instincts/variant nature of our personality?

Thanks for responding. Keep it coming. I don't really know what you said lady..., it was a very complex answer imo, and blackcat, what do you mean, that this aspect of personality relates to the enneagram more that the mbti?:coffee:
 

Frank

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I can go between informing and directing based on the situation. With some people I have found it is more useful to be more subtle with my directions if I want something to get done. I don't like that I have to take this approach and I usually decide on the spot that this person is gone as soon as it is practical. With that said I do try and temper my directives as I know I hate being told what to do unless I really have no idea. I prefer to be informed about what has to get done and then I'll decide how to do it.
 

entropie

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do you think one directive could be to ignore my posts and subtly try to lure me into thinking i am a lady ?
 

ladyinspring

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Everybody is directing at times and informing at times. But everybody has a preference

wren is a directing type (according to your own statements, and if you are INFJ that's directing)

entropie is an informing type (because you are an ENTP and even in this thread most of your posts are informing "I am no lady" and sarcastic "do you think one directive could be..?" rather than "why isn't anyone answering me?")

frank is obviously a directing type (according to your own statements and ENTJs are directing types)

Informing types:
SFPs, SFJs, NPs

Directing types:
STPs, STJs, NJs

Just putting that out there, not to say people can't claim whatever experience they want (far be it from me to stop an INFJ from coming in and claiming to be informing, or an ESFP who says they are direct), but that's the theory in case anyone is wondering.
 

entropie

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Ok, now that I see my information being safely received, I am fine :)
 

wren

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My question is regarding whether a directing and informing personality style prefers the same when interacting interpersonally. Not whether they use a certain style.

Ok maybe I understand what Blackcat was saying. Enneagram could influence someone's preference. A type 8 may prefer, in general, a direct style, whereas a 9 may prefer more informing?

Is this just a non issue in typology? I'd like to be able to use it to understand my own attitude. I call myself INFJ because I relate more to Ni/Fe than Fi/Ne, however I can drive people crazy when I use informing rather than directing. I think I prefer informing people more than directing because people are so sensitive (maybe I'm projecting onto them though).

I read once that when directing types use an informing style and vice versa, they don't come off as natural sounding, it's a struggle to communicate using your non dominant style (and thus irritating to the receiver of the message I would assume, from my own experience). However, learning to communicate more effectively involves adopting strategies from each style when the situation calls for it.

My sister, for example, who has always been much more directive than me, throws me off when she softens her approach. It seems so unnatural for her to communicate like this, but I find it easier to listen to her. I'm always waiting for her to switch back to her default mode, which invariably occurs.

entropie, I wasn't ignoring you. I find my preference for this to be relationship and context dependent and varies based on my mood.
 

ladyinspring

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I don't think I understand your question wren. Directing/Informing is all about interpersonal interaction. It isn't about anything else. It's how you prefer to communicate with others. Directing personalities prefer to communicate in a direct manner, Infoming personalities prefer to communicate through passing information.

First, I'm not sure if this is clear, but INFJ is a directing type. You say you drive people crazy when you use informing, but then you say you prefer informing because people are so sensitive? Do people react well when you are informing or no? I would say that other directing types prefer direct communication, however I think culture has a lot to do with it. In America, direct is the ideal way to communicate, so many people who are naturally informing types probably feel uncomfortable and inadequate with their own style. On the other hand, Japan is an informing style culture, so direct people might feel uncomfortable there. So which style we prefer from others may be influenced by culture.
 

wren

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I don't think I understand your question wren. Directing/Informing is all about interpersonal interaction. It isn't about anything else. It's how you prefer to communicate with others. Directing personalities prefer to communicate in a direct manner, Infoming personalities prefer to communicate through passing information.

First, I'm not sure if this is clear, but INFJ is a directing type. You say you drive people crazy when you use informing, but then you say you prefer informing because people are so sensitive? Do people react well when you are informing or no? I would say that other directing types prefer direct communication, however I think culture has a lot to do with it. In America, direct is the ideal way to communicate, so many people who are naturally informing types probably feel uncomfortable and inadequate with their own style. On the other hand, Japan is an informing style culture, so direct people might feel uncomfortable there. So which style we prefer from others may be influenced by culture.

Interpersonal interaction is dyadic, involving a sender and receiver, so I'm breaking it down to study each role. My question is in respect to the person who is taking on the role of receiver. From what I've read about informing and directing, these styles refer primarily to the sender.

Therefore, I was asking whether one prefers the sender's style of communicating to be the same as yours (i.e. if you are an informer type do you prefer informing over a direct and vice versa).

When I referred to myself, I was saying the reason I choose infj over infp is because of the dominant and auxilliary function, not because of the directing/informing category. I know that infj is known to be a directing style. My point was that I don't consider my type to be infj for that reason.

To answer your question, my informing style can annoy people and when I use a direct style, people can be annoyed as well, however, I would rather people be directly informing with me, and polite as well. :doh: Now I've confused even myself.

The point you made about the cultural environment one grows up in was a good one. Maybe the way we prefer to have people communicate is more diverse and dependent on context than the way we communicate to others, which could be more stable as a function of type.
 

Mole

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Americans constantly ask me to be direct.

Yet indirection is the voice of diplomacy or negotiation or even the voice of poetry.

Indirection allows for possibilities to open up, while direction closes them down.

Direction is convergent, while indirection is divergent.

So direction is the language of control, while indirection is the language of discovery.

But in truth they are two sides of the same coin - they are point and counter-point.
 
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