Extroversion vs Introversion. What really defines E and I? Bust Stereotypes? ;).

[INFtha14]

Hey all ,
Hopefully this hasn't been done in some other topic.
If anyone is up for it I want to know how did you
come to the decision that you were Extroverted and
for those who are Introverted?

If anyone can tell me what defines extroversion and
introversion? maybe it will help to hear straight from
the source and not some article.

I heard there can be quiet ones as well. So
I'm assuming that can't be used as a measure
to determine then .

Hoping to clear up some misconception of the E vs I thing.
I hear so much from articles on the web and such. I just want to
make sure I'm getting it right and not being misinformed.

*considering if i could be E not I *

 

[Eric B]

Extroversion and introversion are defined by the attitude of the dominant function. If your dominant is focused on the external world, you will tend to express yourself more towards the outside world. ("expressiveness" is one of the names for the E/I factor). If your dominant is focused towards the internal world, you will tend to express yourself to the external world less, as you are more in your own mind.

Of course, there are various reasons a person's expressed behavior might not appear to match the dominant function. That's why in most systems, outward behavior is distinguished from true inborn preference.

 

[Kasper]

Have posted this before;

After talking about the differences between I and E elsewhere this is what I've come up as the points that stood out to me as exclusively introversion and the opposite of what an extrovert would experience;

• The idea that you will eventually feel tired and drained even when talking to people whose company you enjoy, the conversation can be enthralling but if it goes on long enough at some point you will retreat into your head and get quiet, or if you can, leave and find your own space to recharge. At the end of socialisation you are less energised then when you started.
  
  
• One of the reasons these conversations are draining is because your preference is to think about what is being said before responding thus you are in a way exerting more internal energy than the average extrovert.
  
  
• In line with thinking before speaking, you do not need to verbalise thoughts in order to fully understand them.
  
  
• You have narrower but deeper interests.
  
  
• Exerting your energy outwardly through social interaction is your kryptonite. Your focus is on conserving energy.

Other things about disliking small talk, having a rich inner world and needing space etc are things that are not unique to introverts imo as an extrovert who feels the same way.

 

[Jeffster]

[*]You have narrower but deeper interests.

Can you please elaborate on what this means?

 

[INFtha14]

Thanks trinity and eric b .
I'll get back to you guys I just want to play around the idea first.
It seems like i might be E i just want to make sure when i say
that. It's for real.

On the first bulletin
how about if lately i have been feeling that way*drained easier*. Like i have been developing some I.

on the second bulletin
It seems i have had to learn to sit with ideas more instead of rushing off. My mother helped me with that one. hmm.

On the third one
according to this I am an E cause everytime i verbalize anything even here. I get some clarity on something or a new understanding. Like whenever i have a problem that i just need to talk to someone cause maybe they can help me see it different. Usually it helps to have that verbal expression.

On the fourth one
I think i've had to learn to develop the attention span to hold deeper interests actually. Guess that's why i'm surprised with learning the mbti and enneagram. Just very hard to focus my attention on a long book or article though i have improved ^^D. *starting to think I might be E afterall...? am i on the right path?*

on the fifth one
It seems that I learned to respect conserving my energy and slow down to let ideas jell. What I'm trying to do now to learn to jell.
Whenever i'd make plans with my friends i would always love to stay as long as possible if i could just as an example. Whenever i slept over at a friends i could never sleep heh/still can't.

Just thinking from what i read on a enfp discussion. one said she felt like she had to tone down herself when with people like her intensity.
Someone else mentioned a switch when something they like is brought up
I can see that too.

Just going to try to sit on it for now and leave it nfp cause i'm sure of that.
Thanks eric b and trinity.

 

[NewEra]

[*]One of the reasons these conversations are draining is because your preference is to think about what is being said before responding thus you are in a way exerting more internal energy than the average extrovert.


[*]In line with thinking before speaking, you do not need to verbalise thoughts in order to fully understand them.

I'm not sure I buy these two points. It's making it seem like extroverts are dumber than introverts because they think less. That's the impression I get at least.

 

[INFtha14]

I'm not sure I buy these two points. It's making it seem like extroverts are dumber than introverts because they think less. That's the impression I get at least.

ahhh...good point.
I don't quite understand it as much though so i'd love to hear anyone's input on what they think extroversion is really.

They don't think less just in a different way so that is a shame people might think that. If anything you think it might look like they would think more since they would need to interact with people to discuss there ideas and thoughts? .

 

[Kasper]

I'm not sure I buy these two points. It's making it seem like extroverts are dumber than introverts because they think less. That's the impression I get at least.

Ok but they're true for me and I don't consider myself dumb or suggest them as an indication of lack of thought.

The difference for me is I think as I talk, this isn't to say that I'm not a quick thinker, that's not the case at all, it's just that I usually think as I talk not before, my preference is not to think things through too much before I say them but to think and speak on my feet. I also often need to verbalise things to fully understand them, dunno why, speech is slower than thinking, maybe it's a way to slow down my thoughts.

I certainly don't suggest that extroverts think less. I'd have to take offence at myself if I did

Can you please elaborate on what this means?

It's a generalisation but the idea is an introvert would delve deeper than your average extrovert into subjects of interest but the extrovert would have a wider range of subjects of interest.

I'm sure most people would say they do both but when measured up against other people the trend should show.

 

[NewEra]

Ok but they're true for me and I don't consider myself dumb or suggest them as an indication of lack of thought.

The difference for me is I think as I talk, this isn't to say that I'm not a quick thinker, that's not the case at all, it's just that I usually think as I talk not before, my preference is not to think things through too much before I say them but to think and speak on my feet. I also often need to verbalise things to fully understand them, dunno why, speech is slower than thinking, maybe it's a way to slow down my thoughts.

I certainly don't suggest that extroverts think less. I'd have to take offence at myself if I did

Haha alright, fair enough.

 

[INFtha14]

Ok but they're true for me and I don't consider myself dumb or suggest them as an indication of lack of thought.

The difference for me is I think as I talk, this isn't to say that I'm not a quick thinker, that's not the case at all, it's just that I usually think as I talk not before, my preference is not to think things through too much before I say them but to think and speak on my feet. I also often need to verbalise things to fully understand them, dunno why, speech is slower than thinking, maybe it's a way to slow down my thoughts. Wow never thought of it this way. maybe to try catch them before another comes flying at us. I guess i could see this too.

I certainly don't suggest that extroverts think less. I'd have to take offence at myself if I did

It's a generalisation but the idea is an introvert would delve deeper than your average extrovert into subjects of interest but the extrovert would have a wider range of subjects of interest.

I'm sure most people would say they do both but when measured up against other people the trend should show.

thanks for adding to that trinity. Sounds similar to my style.
I too also do a think as a talk kinda thing haha here and irl.
hmm wider range of subjects of interest.
Does having to talk outloud include that too? cause I do that quite abit haha if i can't talk to a friend/cat or whatever xD. I do think outloud quite frequently. Mother does it too.

 

[Lady_X]

okay..i'll tell you how i realized because i wasn't sure at first. the people here helped me and then the more i thought about certain things i became certain that i was...but

at first i wasn't sure because i compared myself to other people that i knew to be extroverts and thought...i'm not like that...i'm not high energy all the time and totally confident talking to just anybody in every social situation...i don't need to be with people constantly...i don't talk all the time...but

i also...really don't think before i speak..i just get a quick big picture idea and then expand on it as i talk often figuring out what i mean or think or feel as i'm saying it.

i do feel totally lethargic and depressed after being alone or staying in too much.

i do often feel totally confident engaging strangers as i've known them for a long time...it just depends on a particular vibe i get from them...or rather or not i will enjoy talking to them...so it's not about ever feeling shy...it's just usually about relating to them or not on some level.

i don't need loyalty from friends in the same way i find other introverts do...i don't need just a few close friends...i like having a lot of casual friends and just see them whenever.
i do not hold grudges...i get over things very quickly...people can be just as they are...

hmm...i've lost track...maybe i'm finished.

 

[Kasper]

if i can't talk to a friend/cat or whatever xD. I do think outloud quite frequently. Mother does it too.

That on its own isn't an indication of IvE imo as plenty of introverts talk to themselves as well Maybe the reasons are different, not too sure of the reasons an introvert does it though so couldn't answer there.

Btw, your posting style does remind me more of other ENFPs than INFPs.

 

[Lady_X]

i never ever talk to myself and find it totally hilarious that other people do...it makes no sense to me...if other people could hear my thoughts i'd never talk...same thing...i think right?

 

[INFtha14]

okay..i'll tell you how i realized because i wasn't sure at first. the people here helped me and then the more i thought about certain things i became certain that i was...but

at first i wasn't sure because i compared myself to other people that i knew to be extroverts and thought...i'm not like that...i'm not high energy all the time and totally confident talking to just anybody in every social situation...i don't need to be with people constantly...i don't talk all the time...but

i also...really don't think before i speak..i just get a quick big picture idea and then expand on it as i talk often figuring out what i mean or think or feel as i'm saying it. * agreed*

i do feel totally lethargic and depressed after being alone or staying in too much.

i do often feel totally confident engaging strangers as i've known them for a long time...it just depends on a particular vibe i get from them...or rather or not i will enjoy talking to them...so it's not about ever feeling shy...it's just usually about relating to them or not on some level.

i don't need loyalty from friends in the same way i find other introverts do...i don't need just a few close friends...i like having a lot of casual friends and just see them whenever.
i do not hold grudges...i get over things very quickly...people can be just as they are...

hmm...i've lost track...maybe i'm finished.

Do these quotes resonate anything with you as an enfp.
I picked ones that i think illuminate what i think about, what motivates me etc. Big on following your dreams/heart's passion.
“Happy are those who dream dreams and are ready to pay the price to make them come true.”
The supreme object of life is to live. Few people live. It is true life only to realize one's own perfection, to make one's every dream a reality.”
"Dream what you want to dream; go where you want to go; be what you want to be, because you have only one life and one chance to do all the things you want to do.”
also i have a bracelet that says "dream it, believe it, become it" when i saw it *age 18*, i knew it would remind me to keep going in life after whatever suits my heart ^^D. To not give up.

hmm...
I find i hold grudges but not over just anything. it has to be something that was "really" just not fair/wrong or undeserved on my part.
When you say casual friends, you mean like acquiantence?

I have a five-six friends that i know really intimately like who they are, what there about. I also know there families as if i'm apart of there family.

I'll call their grandma "grandma" like "hey grandma...I love you. *cheek kiss*
This was after only meeting her a couple times. Just have a connection with her like she is very motherly/protective with me ^^D and i of her.

Now i will smile at strangers alot of time even to
just say "Hi" even if i don't know them. I find some
don't return it or will smile or return the hi or both.

I was out at a restaurant awhile ago and in line to get our food.
There was this women i never met before. Well we talked exchanged some funnies then went on our way. It always makes me happy to do that.
I do really love to connect with people in general. Like i'll feel a certain connection with a random stranger in line at the store, where ever. And
I will have to talk to them, act on that connection vibe i'm getting.
This connection happens at an eye glance, no words spoken, it's spooky
but amazing that just a glance you see into someone's world and feel there aura.

There was a stranger i met and was meeting them more frequently.
They were going through a similar situation that i went through.
So i told them about that and that i really do understand.
So if they need anything else or to talk I'm here. It felt weird for
me to reach out like that but good cause i actually could relate
to what they were going through.
It felt authentic. I don't like saying " i understand" when i don't.
But anyway just thought i'd throw that out there.

Thank you Lady X for taking the time to write that out

 

[INFtha14]

i never ever talk to myself and find it totally hilarious that other people do...it makes no sense to me...if other people could hear my thoughts i'd never talk...same thing...i think right?

hehe.
Oh yeah it's the funniest thing to see. I remember i was at the beach like a couple weeks ago there some guy on bike having a whole conversation with himself...no break in between just quietly you see his lips moving. And no bluetooth xDDD...in public hehe. It was a killer, my friend and me were dying *figurativly somewhat xD.Sides were hurting*

hah...I usually will say "hmm...what do i want?...maybe this...nah. well i had this yesterday so i can have this." kinda thing xDDD. But no to doing that in public I tell myself Don't think out loud . Only would do this in public if a friend was right there to hear the rambling xDD so i don't look nuts .

 

[ladyinspring]

I get energy from introverted activities:

Thinking, processing reading material, remembering, figuring things out, nurturing ideas, meditating, creating alone, listening, writing, imagining, dreaming, watching, reflecting

All of these activities give me a lot of energy. Then I have to share or engage the outer world to let off the energy. So sharing my ideas or the things I have created with others, responding to the needs of others, performing, socializing, reminiscing, and other extroverted activities. Doing these things eventually drains me (even if I enjoy them and even faster when I don't) and I need to recharge by engaging in introverted activity again.

I don't know what it's like to be an extrovert though many of my friends are extroverts. Everybody needs "alone time" and time doing extroverted things, but we don't respond the same way. My ESFJ brother gets tired from reading books, even if he enjoys them. But he doesn't get tired of discussing ideas learned from books. My ESFP friend gets tired from soaking and meditating in the bathtub, even though she loves to do it. It gets her ready for bed. I actually get energized from that and feel renewed so I can't take a bath before bed.

 

[dotdalidot]

I get energy from sleeping. That's pretty much it.

I don't really notice any significant energy decrease or increase when I'm around people or not. Well, actually, I do notice that after significant extroverting I feel more tired than I would if I hadn't extroverted. So maybe that's an indicator.

Also, every time I'm with people I just prefer not to talk. I usually say things in my mind and desperately wished I had a microphone connected to my brain so the words could just spew out of my mind instead of my mouth.

I've noticed that some extroverts absolutely hate when there's a silent moment. I don't know, I notice they get restless and believe that they have to fill in that silent gap. Maybe I'm generalizing here, but I only say this because it holds true to my experiences. But really, everyone's an exception to the rule.

 

[/DG/]

I don't really notice any significant energy decrease or increase when I'm around people or not. Well, actually, I do notice that after significant extroverting I feel more tired than I would if I hadn't extroverted. So maybe that's an indicator.

I've never felt this way after socializing. Perhaps I've never experienced enough socializing to ever feel this way.

I've noticed that some extroverts absolutely hate when there's a silent moment. I don't know, I notice they get restless and believe that they have to fill in that silent gap. Maybe I'm generalizing here, but I only say this because it holds true to my experiences. But really, everyone's an exception to the rule.

I dislike silent moments when I'm around friends. It's just so awkward and it makes me feel like I need to come up with something to say, which is something I don't like to do. I like someone to come up with a topic, and I'll contribute whenever I want to.

 

[Lady_X]

interesting...i think i'm alright with silent moments...especially if there's nothing that needs to be said...nothing i want to talk about with anyone...i must not experience that much though. i usually just hang out with people i like to talk to...but i don't feel the need to fill the silence if i'm stuck in a room with someone i don't have anything to say to....i imagine that would feel quite awkward though if i did.

 

[dotdalidot]

I've never felt this way after socializing. Perhaps I've never experienced enough socializing to ever feel this way.

Perhaps?

I dislike silent moments when I'm around friends. It's just so awkward and it makes me feel like I need to come up with something to say, which is something I don't like to do. I like someone to come up with a topic, and I'll contribute whenever I want to.

Yeah, I actually dislike silent moments more when I'm around new people. Because then I feel like my social ineptness is being severely criticized, like "Hey look she's awkward, I dont want to be her friend -leaves-" ): . When I'm around my good friends though, I don't mind the silence because I know that they're not criticizing me and or wondering why the heck I'm not speaking.

But yeah, I think that extroverts are more likely to want to come up with something. While introverts just hope someone else comes up with something. Which is what I hope for.