jenocyde
half mystic, half skeksis
- Joined
- Jan 2, 2009
- Messages
- 6,387
- MBTI Type
- ENTP
- Enneagram
- 7w8
Jeno - there's no misunderstanding of the sources. The problem is the very lack of agreement across psychologists on how empathy is defined - that is the only consensus across fields.
Perhaps one of the reasons why we can see the concepts so differently is that I'm concentrating more on neuro and social psychology and you're looking more at child psychology that define the terms quite differently.
I am not focusing on child psychology, and I linked you to my previous post which spanned disciplines. But sure, we can agree to disagree.
Pushiness implies insisting the other person work on it too when they're no longer interested in working on something. That would be counter-productive. Interpersonal relationships simply can't be tackled when one party isn't willing. The motivation has to be there at both sides.
Again, semantics. Pushy to you seems to mean persevearing when someone is not interested in working with you. Pushy to me comes way before that, at the engagement level. I am always willing to work with someone if their approach is "not pushy".
Having said that, I think our disappointment is that likened to ENTPs and debate. I've heard ENTP friends online and offline say they're disappointed when people don't want to continue debating a subject that they're interested in. It takes two. Similarly, ENFPs are likely disappointed when people are not motivated to continue working on an interpersonal relationship, whatever the relationship may be (friend, family, partner). It's different types of engagement but the perseverence reflected is similar. In either case, one person can't make a difference to the outcome. Pushiness in the emotional realm would actually be quite contrary to an ENFP's perception of people and their prerogative to make individual choices.
I really don't care if someone chooses to engage me in conversation or not. My disappointment comes from not being able to complete a task that I feel I should be able to complete. This is the severest of let downs for me. It dials into my very self worth. Which is why I asked about the ENFP parallel, since you guys are so people focused.
But if I am talking (or "debating" as everyone calls ENTP talking) to someone and they call me pushy, I am usually pretty stunned. I have no idea why I am perceived that way but I can be. To me, as long as you keep talking, you want to keep talking. You wouldn't if you didn't. I would never speak about anything if I was asked not to. *shrugs*. I guess I am not aware of how people can perceive me either.
Correct me if I'm wrong...
ENTPs have a good intuition about everything BUT people.
I don't find that to be the truth at all. I study people the same way ENFPs do - just with a different motivation, therefore focusing on different things.