But I thought the OP was about which type is generally lonely and why they have that problem. None of the ESFxs I know are lonely because they fill up their time hanging around with others and usually fit in quite nicely with other people.
True...The ESFX's seem to have an easy time making friends. My ESFP sister makes friends wherever she goes, and my ESFJ grandma can strike up a conversation with almost any stranger.
"Charlotte sometimes dreams a wall around herself. But it's always with love - So much love it looks like everything else. Charlotte Sometimes - So far away, glass sealed and pretty." - The Cure
Shy/socially anxious ESF_ then but that's not really a type.
I would agree with that.
I've dealt with loneliness because even though I'm an introvert, I really do need one hermit buddy, a confidant. I'm not comfortable being completely alone. I get disconnected and start to feel like a non-person. A trusted friend is like a link to reality. Crowds are what bother me and wear me down. I could go the rest of my life without being around a large group of people at once.
The first man to raise a fist is the man who's run out of ideas. H.G. WELLS
The first principle is that you must not fool yourself, and you are the easiest person to fool. FEYNMAN If this is monkey pee, you're on your own.SCULLY
I'll throw another vote in for INFP (go us!). I think the problem for INFPs is what dotdalidot said, that we can be surrounded by people but still feel isolated from them. Which is strange for me personally, because I'm not someone who feels particularly misunderstood or alienated, but when I really think about it, I don't feel connected to people either.
Although I never thought this feeling was unique to INFPs (is it? ).
Yeah, it's not INTP. I get lonely every once in a great while, but most of the time, I realize that being around people can make you feel more alone than being alone can. Sometimes I wish for a soulmate/mindmate, but mostly I don't notice that I'm alone until someone points it out by asking nosy questions. I'm always wrapped up in my own thoughts/pursuits.
"How dreadful!" cried Lord Henry. "I can stand brute force, but brute reason is quite unbearable. There is something unfair about its use. It is hitting below the intellect." ~ Oscar Wilde - The picture of Dorian Gray
Just tell him to be himself and be proud of his type.
If I was to try and be more like an ENFP, I'd feel hella lonely too. But I'm not, I'm happy with who I am.
We create our own happiness and inner emotions for a great deal I'd say for the average INTP, only a quarter of our happiness is related to external sources we have no control over. It's a matter of choice. o/
Come to think of it, my friend mentioned that his test results indicated an idea type that was ES-something, and he seems to pine over generically popular, outgoing and "out of his league" girls. Perhaps he's inclined to think that his type isn't helping him in his pursuits, and thus values not being lonely in this manner. Either that or he needs to just get laid real bad
I've noticed that a lot of people indicate INFPs are very lonely. I'd like to wonder about how changing the F to a T makes a difference in this. As an INTP I sometimes get a strong sense of nihilistic disconnect from the world, as if my social consciousness and intellectual concern for it gets dampened and turned into an alienated frustration and apathy. Perhaps the Feeling INFP relates to this, but in a more personal fashion- extreme loneliness and depression from feeling a lack of interpersonal, positive closeness among people in their environment.. or simply a lack of people around that they can "heal" to create understanding and atmospheric positivity.
"Stop it, you fuck. Give him some butter."
Ti = Ne > Ni > Fi > Te > Se > Fe > Si INTP (I/PNT) 5w4
I remember my first clear perception of the lonely Extrovert syndome. It totally turned my view of the world upside down! And made the erratic behaviour of some "people-people" so much more understandable... so from personal experience I'm gonna say ESFP, just because of their apparent inability to be in a room alone with themselves without lunging for a telephone.
There's a chronic loneliness inherent in being an INFP. A feeling of detachment from humanity that is persistent. Feeling "off" but wanting so much to be a part, yet at the same time holding yourself apart. INFPs require depth in relationships in order to stave off the deep loneliness that's there even when they're mostly happy. But depth in relationships is very hard to find.
INFPs long to connect with people, but can have trouble doing so....which results in loneliness.
Exactly. This quote from the book Conscious Orientation says it well:
"In spite of ever-repeated collisions with the world and with other people, they can never give up their wish to love them both.
They conceal their sensitiveness behind a mask, which may be childish or simple, or again conventional, remote, or it may be friendly. But behind this mask the search goes on for someone who will understand, and for a community which will embody their ideals."