When we visit relatives, they often require us to fulfill the hosting role without being directly asked. The point was to 'appear' like caring, responsible and good-natured young adults, whatever that means. My mother boasts of how wonderful her friend's children are: they inquire about their parents' well-being and immediately look after others' needs on their own. However, this idea is about as understandable to me as philosophy is to a chimpanzee. If you need help... then how about asking for it? Of course, you can't because it'd take the meaning out of the act. We ultimately have two choices: to follow through or don't. The repercussions for listening is considerably less, so I began viewing hosting as type of inexpensive payment for my stay at their place. I started by focusing on what I could manage and pinpointing the tasks where my relatives preferred additional assistance. To spice things up, my STP cousins and I made a competition out of it.
I'd take into account the people, the environment and the results I am dealing with. For someone more thin-skinned, I'd follow the advice I mentioned in the initial post. And given I might work with customers who share her nature, I'll ask exactly why I sound offensive. What should I say instead? What if the person needs to hear the truth? There must be a happy medium for anyone to proceed further. Try to openly talk this out and see what you both agree on. Otherwise, misery is guaranteed. I'd personally like to have a clear utility purpose behind the etiquette. Everything will be easier once I've figured out a way that will motivate me to do the said behavior. Negative reinforcement can drastically drain away energy. Then you're out of fuel for sure.
For an example:
- By the end of the month, you must finish this entire pile of paperwork or else you will not receive a vacation break.
+ Or... if you finish this little stack of files each day, you'll do enough to complete the entire pile and be rewarded with a vacation.