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  1. #11
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    Default Long-winded.

    One of my oldest friends types as INFP - and we are very different. Jennifer does well defining the differences, and I feel like I'm just going to echo her, but I still want to see what everyone else thinks.

    I would make a list!

    1) He often doesn't "get" social rules, and when he gets them, he doesn't bother with them probably nine times out of ten. (Fe?) I understand social signals, and know how to respond appropriately - without thinking about it - if I need to to get something done.

    2) "get something done." He doesn't seem to get things done! (closure?) He spends way more time deciding what he feels about the decision than just making it and doing something. But then - I can be too impulsive. If I think I'm right, I just do something and figure I'll deal with whatever comes out of it. But I almost never regret decisions if I know I'm right, so whatever.

    3) He's far more in tune with his own value system and what he feels is right (as opposed to what everyone else around him wants/needs) than I've ever been. I'm much more out of touch with my own feelings than he is, even though I spend at least as much time wandering my inner world. Mostly I talk to the (real and imaginary) people who live there. He talks to himself there! Separating what *I* want and feel from the people I care about is something that takes work and I'm only figuring out as an adult.

    Long response - and I'm interested in how much of this relates to some bigger pattern that someone who understands MBTI better can see, and how much is just my friend's and my personal quirks.

    On revenge... So, I don't know about anyone else, but I'm not really aware of a desire for revenge most of the time. I try very hard to be forgiving and polite to people who violate some important idea I have about the world ("there must be a reason you suck" ), but it will build up. When I was younger, eventually I would explode at them, and they'd think I was nuts. Nice,quiet,nice,quiet... *YOU ARE THE SOURCE OF ALL EVIL*. But I don't think I really want them to be hurt. Unless they do something truly horrible. But that's different. And they deserve it.

    Finally! I'm not convinced anyone fits perfectly any of these categories or we'd have 16 kinds of robots wandering the streets. Life is a complicated mix of temperament and background and who you were raised by. If you really want to find a category, I think focusing on how your mind works would be smart - that's where I really see how these two types are different. The outer behavior you have and your beliefs seems to me like it has so much to do with how and where you've lived your life.

    I can be long-winded.... now you all know.

  2. #12
    Protocol Droid Athenian200's Avatar
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    I'm appeased now, Jennifer. Because you admitted to having a similar thought process to them, and especially since InFlux pointed out enough negative INFP traits to make me feel better. (Thank you, InFlux.)

  3. #13
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    Default Hmm

    No problem.

    Fair and balanced I may not be, though...

  4. #14
    Senior Member Sahara's Avatar
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    I think it's downright cruel that athenian would ask for a nagative critique of the INFP when she knows how sensitive INFP's are to criticism.
    "No one can be free of the chains that surround them"

  5. #15
    にゃん runvardh's Avatar
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    I picked up Ni and Te for the exact reason of my flaws, especially with how they compounded with the flaws of others in my immediate family. Grew up in the house of Fi, someone has to stand up and do something eventually.
    Dreams are best served manifest and tangible.

    INFP, 6w7, IEI

    I accept no responsibility, what so ever, for the fact that I exist; I do, however, accept full responsibility for what I do while I exist.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  6. #16
    Plumage and Moult proteanmix's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sahara View Post
    I think it's downright cruel that athenian would ask for a nagative critique of the INFP when she knows how sensitive INFP's are to criticism.
    FJs tend to take quite a beating on the MBTI message boards. That could be a reason why she was asking for a more balanced critique.
    Relationships have normal ebbs and flows. They do not automatically get better and better when the participants learn more and more about each other. Instead, the participants have to work through the tensions of the relationship (the dialectic) while they learn and group themselves and a parties in a relationships. At times the relationships is very open and sharing. Other time, one or both parties to the relationship need their space, or have other concerns, and the relationship is less open. The theory posits that these cycles occur throughout the life of the relationship as the persons try to balance their needs for privacy and open relationship.
    Interpersonal Communication Theories and Concepts
    Social Penetration Theory 1
    Social Penetration Theory 2
    Social Penetration Theory 3

  7. #17
    Member Andy K Octopus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    Well, it is a bit difficult to weigh things out for you, without having any real information to go on or observation of you...

    Although there are similarities between INFJ and INFP, the motivations are different (similar to INTJ and INTP "almost being the same" but not really). They are both NFs, but operate off different functions.

    INFJ runs off Ni but expresses Fe. Thus, what you see on the surface tends to be more structured, more desire on closure, a more formalized sense of interaction with others (because they use Fe rules to express commitments). They tend to speak with more detail or at least with more of a sense of delineation in what they say. And internally, because of Ni, INFJs are very able to see other viewpoints as "equal" if different. They will judge people more often based on their actions or what they express.

    INFP runs off Fi but expresses Ne. They tend to speak in more generalized terms and patterns (because of the Ne). Their warmth is more individualized in some ways, because it's coming from Fi (internal and thus personally expressive) rather than Fe (the external rule system defining what different acts "mean" relationally). They seem to judge people based more on their motivations, not necessarily what comes out.

    Out of the two, in terms of interaction (which occurs in the external world), INFPs (using Ne) seem more flexible than INFJs (using Fe), who seem to be more self-controlled and have their world a bit more orderly and prioritized. In terms of control issues, INFPs seem to control their inner world and let the outer go more, while INFJs seem to like to control their outer world more.

    Also, there is this thing called "revenge" that I see so much more in INFJs than in INFPs. I cannot really define it well yet, but INFJ dreams seem to be more violent and expressions of anger and retaliation and implementing "justice" against someone for the wrongs they have committed against them. It is like the INFJ has been prevented by Fe from acting on their anger, so it comes out in other ways; also, emotions have to be carried out in specific acts, implemented in some way.

    The INFP can be gravely wounded by someone as well, but the judgment is something they carry around internally. Outwardly, they might fail to show or implement it, and even waver / show doubt about it. They tend to resolve the matter internally, rather than needing to extrovert it like the INFJ.

    Note: In light of all this, it seems much better to piss off an INFP than an INFJ.

    Note: These are just my first thoughts of some of the differences, and so they are prone to revision.

    I definetly fit the INFJ description here more, except I don't have vengeful dreams---I am more like an INFP when it comes to resolving problems.

    But on the outside I am much more organized than on the inside

  8. #18
    Member Andy K Octopus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by InFlux View Post
    One of my oldest friends types as INFP - and we are very different. Jennifer does well defining the differences, and I feel like I'm just going to echo her, but I still want to see what everyone else thinks.

    I would make a list!

    1) He often doesn't "get" social rules, and when he gets them, he doesn't bother with them probably nine times out of ten. (Fe?) I understand social signals, and know how to respond appropriately - without thinking about it - if I need to to get something done.

    2) "get something done." He doesn't seem to get things done! (closure?) He spends way more time deciding what he feels about the decision than just making it and doing something. But then - I can be too impulsive. If I think I'm right, I just do something and figure I'll deal with whatever comes out of it. But I almost never regret decisions if I know I'm right, so whatever.

    3) He's far more in tune with his own value system and what he feels is right (as opposed to what everyone else around him wants/needs) than I've ever been. I'm much more out of touch with my own feelings than he is, even though I spend at least as much time wandering my inner world. Mostly I talk to the (real and imaginary) people who live there. He talks to himself there! Separating what *I* want and feel from the people I care about is something that takes work and I'm only figuring out as an adult.

    Long response - and I'm interested in how much of this relates to some bigger pattern that someone who understands MBTI better can see, and how much is just my friend's and my personal quirks.

    On revenge... So, I don't know about anyone else, but I'm not really aware of a desire for revenge most of the time. I try very hard to be forgiving and polite to people who violate some important idea I have about the world ("there must be a reason you suck" ), but it will build up. When I was younger, eventually I would explode at them, and they'd think I was nuts. Nice,quiet,nice,quiet... *YOU ARE THE SOURCE OF ALL EVIL*. But I don't think I really want them to be hurt. Unless they do something truly horrible. But that's different. And they deserve it.

    Finally! I'm not convinced anyone fits perfectly any of these categories or we'd have 16 kinds of robots wandering the streets. Life is a complicated mix of temperament and background and who you were raised by. If you really want to find a category, I think focusing on how your mind works would be smart - that's where I really see how these two types are different. The outer behavior you have and your beliefs seems to me like it has so much to do with how and where you've lived your life.

    I can be long-winded.... now you all know.

    I definetly appear more organized and concientious to the outsider. Responsible, easy to get along with, gets things done. It is my internal thought process that is a shambles of eccentricities

  9. #19
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by proteanmix View Post
    FJs tend to take quite a beating on the MBTI message boards. That could be a reason why she was asking for a more balanced critique.
    Well, since I seem to be getting myself into a heap o' trouble nowadays in general, I might as well offend everyone equally... so that no one feels left out.

    <goes out to shop for baskets of band-aids and buckets of first-aid cream>

    (hmm, i do have to say, though, maybe it would be more clear how much we love FJs here if you go visit INTPc for about, say, 25 minutes... Just sayin'! )
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  10. #20
    Member Entropy's Avatar
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    Have you taken the Cognitive Processes test ever?
    Understanding the Eight Jungian Cognitive Processes / Eight Functions Attitudes
    This should help show you whether you use Ni-Fe or Fi-Ne, and thus whether you are more INFJ or INFP.

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