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[MBTI General] What types are your family and friends?

mlittrell

New member
Joined
Sep 3, 2008
Messages
1,387
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
9w1
Me- ENFP
Sister- ESTJ
Mother- INFJ
Father- INTJ

its an odd combination
 

Unique

New member
Joined
Oct 14, 2008
Messages
1,702
ESTJ - father
ESFJ - brother
ENFJ - mother
ESTP - myself

I try to use my "shadow" introvert skillz to hide from the madness ;)
 

pure_sterling

New member
Joined
Nov 4, 2008
Messages
27
MBTI Type
INFP
ME: INFP
Mom: INFP
Dad:ENTJ
Brothers:ENTJ
I get along way more with my mother, mostly because she's much more sensitive
 

Totenkindly

@.~*virinaĉo*~.@
Joined
Apr 19, 2007
Messages
50,187
MBTI Type
BELF
Enneagram
594
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
Me: INtP
Sis: ISFJ
Mom: ISFJ
Dad: ESTP

I've come to the realization lately, in the midst of some changes in the structure, that my family never really did "get" me and I really was a Changeling. It's not an excuse to not try, but they just never really could easily perceive my inclinations or motivations or thinking; I've been more enigmatic than I had realized.

The ISFJs were just trying to be loving (Fe) and meanwhile ignore any misunderstandings if possible. The ESTP just looked at everything as jockeying for position.

I developed my Fe as much as I could and otherwise had controlled information as much as possible, to avoid conflict.
 

Eric B

ⒺⓉⒷ
Joined
Mar 29, 2008
Messages
3,621
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
548
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
My parents and brother are ISTJ, and almost "pure Melancholy" in the five temperament/three area system. I became so fascinated with temperament/type theory because it explains a ot of our clashes, particularly in S vs N and J vs P.
To them, logic is based on objective fact, where to me, it's based on an internal framework. So I basically came across to them as being "in my own world" regarding logic, and too "technical" and abstract. I saw them as too strict with the need for order and closure, and the logic they would shoot out in personal problems as too trite and cold, being based on concrete "reality" and ignoring other factors.
Even my mother, who as an "old school" sort of person (raised on a farm by really old fashioned people), was very much in touch with her tertiary Fi, to the point of seeming to be a Feeler; the T preference would quickly come up in advice, and this was confusing as I grew up. It seemed she turned cold, but she was basically modernizing with the times in the 80's, as the traditional role of women had been more F. Fi was something both parents would push on me as I entered adolescence, but it went over my head. My "Feeling" was more concerned more with the external harmony with others, and they believed harmony should start within, and you should have more of a logical harmony on the outside to get along with people (neatness in appearance, order,etc.) I could never understand this, and it was often aggrivating, and came acrossbto me as pacifying. If others don't respect you, just "respect yourself" and it will all work out.
Thus this came up in their use of Fe, which was Trickster. They were not really concerned with shared values (generally calling society an "insane asylum"), but when I was having problems with people, they appealed to external values, and even overestimated them, as Berens even says. Like suggesting I had trouble getting girls because I would sometimes have wrinkes in my clothes, or because they saw me with my shirt coming untucked sometimes. Yet one girl I liked would hang around with a bummy guy who was dirty from head to toe. I tried to tell them that couldn't be it, but then they appealed to their age and knowledge. So again, it was confusing for them to call society an insane asylum, but then criticize me for not going along with it. But that was their way of trying to motivate me to grow and survive in the world. When they did articulate Ti "principles", they were quite literally, "critical parents".

All of this came to mind recently, when at work, I was complaining about something. A lot of people in supervisory titles in this job seem to be ISTJ's. Everyone knows the system is screwy, but ISTJ's don't seem to like to hear complaining (unless they're the ones doing it the many times they're frustrated about something). So I get lectures about "being happy you have a job" and "it takes time to 'earn' your way up to seniority where things are easier", and then suggestions about looking for a new position. I didn't ask for any of that; I just voiced frustration with something. But that's what they do, and it was the same way with my parents. It seems that if the dominating type of society is ESTJ, then ISTJ (whom Keirsey called "the Inspector") is the supporter and enforcer of the system, even if they don't like everything about it. "That's life; just deal with it" is their motto.

My brother seems a little different, but then that's probably because he's younger. He's more like our parents in their younger, rebellious age, and his Ne and Fi haven't developed yet. He's like them in being totally unimpressed with type theory. He thinks it's just another category or "box" people are put into like race, (apparently, a negative reaction to Ti, and a sign he's not an ENTP, as he seems like in some ways) and everybody is just who they are. My parents also can't seem to get too interested in temperament theory (probably too abstract for them, still), but they're not as openly skeptical of it as my brother. They've basically "mellowed" in their age, and are also remorseful for being so cold in the past.
 

Night

Boring old fossil
Joined
Nov 2, 2007
Messages
4,755
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
5/8
Me: INTJ
Dad: ENTJ
Mom: ISTJ
Bro: ISxP

Wife: ENFJ
Mom-in-law: ESTJ
Dad-in-law: INFP
Bro-in-law #1: iNTj
Bro-in-law #2: ESTP
 

dyspraxion

New member
Joined
Nov 3, 2008
Messages
89
MBTI Type
INtP
Enneagram
4w5
Father: xxTJ
Mother: ISFJ
Brother: ISTP

...probably. I'm not sure of the first two for my father.

I don't get along great with any of them, my father the least.
 

Leysing

New member
Joined
Mar 21, 2008
Messages
309
MBTI Type
FiSi
Me - INFP
Father - ISTJ
Mother - ESFJ (with whom I clash very frequently.)
Sister - ISFJ

Close relatives:
Aunt - ISFJ
Uncle - I_F_ something, probably. He's very difficult to type. Definitely Introvert, though.
Cousin - ESTP
Mother's cousin - ESTP

Mainly SJs here. Heh, somehow I always felt different. :D
 

Totenkindly

@.~*virinaĉo*~.@
Joined
Apr 19, 2007
Messages
50,187
MBTI Type
BELF
Enneagram
594
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
Thus this came up in their use of Fe, which was Trickster. They were not really concerned with shared values (generally calling society an "insane asylum"), but when I was having problems with people, they appealed to external values, and even overestimated them, as Berens even says.

That's pretty amazing. I had never thought much about it in this regard, but as you described it, yes, I see it. Do you think they believe in the values, or is it more an acknowledgment that, regardless of how crazy/arbitrary the value(s) is, it's still the way the world works and so it must be acknowledged?

All of this came to mind recently, when at work, I was complaining about something. A lot of people in supervisory titles in this job seem to be ISTJ's. Everyone knows the system is screwy, but ISTJ's don't seem to like to hear complaining (unless they're the ones doing it the many times they're frustrated about something). So I get lectures about "being happy you have a job" and "it takes time to 'earn' your way up to seniority where things are easier, and then suggestions about looking for a new job. I didn't ask for any of that; I just voiced frustration with something. But that's what they do, and it was the same way with my parents. It seems that is the dominating type of society is ESTJ, then ISTJ (whome Keirsey called "the Inspector") is the supporter and enforcer of the system.

Definitely. I have had to grapple with ISxJ mentality a great deal recently and have really gotten a good grasp of how resistant to change they are. They want stability, and the litmus test is what has existed in the past. Yes, they'll change things that don't work in the least, but otherwise if it works, it is now the ideal; and everything is bent towards preserving it. I'm realizing there is almost a physical sense of vertigo that some of the experience when the world changes against their will around them; they can't figure out where to stand or even who they are, and nothing makes sense.

I've seen this behavior you describe a lot -- where a complaint or expression of feeling is seen more as an irrelevant critique. Sometimes I think the advice is even meant to be helpful: They have a strong Si sense of the world and they know how they have to accommodate and work it (Te), so they're imparting wisdom, albeit more stoic and resigned to the way things are.

My brother seems a little different, but then that's probably because he's younger. He's more like our parents in their younger, rebellious age, and his Ne and Fi haven't developed yet. He's like them in being totally unimpressed with type theory. He thinks it's just another category or "box" people are put into like race, (apparently, a negative reaction to Ti, and a sign he's not an ENTP, as he seems like in some ways) and everybody is just who they are. My parents also can't seem to get too interested in temperament theory (probably too abstract for them, still), but they're not as openly skeptical of it as my brother.

STJ tends to view things in a more authoritarian sense, so one lens they view the world through is subservience/rebellion. Some other types might seem rebellious, but more often they're just oblivious or indifferent to authority; I've seen younger SJs do things just to be socially cool (versus just being compliant), to assert that they aren't being dominated by authority, etc. It's a conscious paradigm, so often rebellion is a way to thwart authority rather than just a natural expression of the desire for autonomy.

It's pretty common to see them "settle down" later and become "productive members of society," it seems part of the traditional narrative, and they tend to read other people's behavior as either being compliant or rebellious.
 

NewEra

New member
Joined
Dec 21, 2008
Messages
3,104
MBTI Type
I
Thus this came up in their use of Fe, which was Trickster. They were not really concerned with shared values (generally calling society an "insane asylum"), but when I was having problems with people, they appealed to external values, and even overestimated them, as Berens even says. Like suggesting I had trouble getting girls because I would sometimes have wrinkes in my clothes, or because they saw me with my shirt coming untucked sometimes. Yet one girl I liked would hang around with a bummy guy who was dirty from head to toe. I tried to tell them that couldn't be it, but then they appealed to their age and knowledge. So again, it was confusing for them to call society an insane asylum, but then criticize me for not going along with it. But that was their way of trying to motivate me to grow and survive in the world. When they did articulate Ti "principles", they were quite literally, "critical parents".

All of this came to mind recently, when at work, I was complaining about something. A lot of people in supervisory titles in this job seem to be ISTJ's. Everyone knows the system is screwy, but ISTJ's don't seem to like to hear complaining (unless they're the ones doing it the many times they're frustrated about something). So I get lectures about "being happy you have a job" and "it takes time to 'earn' your way up to seniority where things are easier", and then suggestions about looking for a new position. I didn't ask for any of that; I just voiced frustration with something. But that's what they do, and it was the same way with my parents. It seems that if the dominating type of society is ESTJ, then ISTJ (whom Keirsey called "the Inspector") is the supporter and enforcer of the system, even if they don't like everything about it. "That's life; just deal with it" is their motto.

My brother seems a little different, but then that's probably because he's younger. He's more like our parents in their younger, rebellious age, and his Ne and Fi haven't developed yet. He's like them in being totally unimpressed with type theory. He thinks it's just another category or "box" people are put into like race, (apparently, a negative reaction to Ti, and a sign he's not an ENTP, as he seems like in some ways) and everybody is just who they are. My parents also can't seem to get too interested in temperament theory (probably too abstract for them, still), but they're not as openly skeptical of it as my brother. They've basically "mellowed" in their age, and are also remorseful for being so cold in the past.

lol not all ISTJ's are that serious. In fact, I don't even like hearing about the seriousness right there. They must be very strong in some of the MBTI categories.
 

NewEra

New member
Joined
Dec 21, 2008
Messages
3,104
MBTI Type
I
From reading all the responses, it seems like there's not a big correlation in personality and genetics. I know I'm really not like my parents, and it seems many of you aren't either. Very interesting.
 

Eric B

ⒺⓉⒷ
Joined
Mar 29, 2008
Messages
3,621
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
548
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
That's pretty amazing. I had never thought much about it in this regard, but as you described it, yes, I see it. Do you think they believe in the values, or is it more an acknowledgment that, regardless of how crazy/arbitrary the value(s) is, it's still the way the world works and so it must be acknowledged?
I've seen this behavior you describe a lot -- where a complaint or expression of feeling is seen more as an irrelevant critique. Sometimes I think the advice is even meant to be helpful: They have a strong Si sense of the world and they know how they have to accommodate and work it (Te), so they're imparting wisdom, albeit more stoic and resigned to the way things are.
That's basically it. I even edited the first post to add that their overall motto in those situations is "That's life; just deal with it"

Definitely. I have had to grapple with ISxJ mentality a great deal recently and have really gotten a good grasp of how resistant to change they are. They want stability, and the litmus test is what has existed in the past. Yes, they'll change things that don't work in the least, but otherwise if it works, it is now the ideal; and everything is bent towards preserving it. I'm realizing there is almost a physical sense of vertigo that some of the experience when the world changes against their will around them; they can't figure out where to stand or even who they are, and nothing makes sense.
I was recently in a discussion somewhere about the ISTJ's and the other SJ's, and someone said the ISFJ would be somewhat like this as well, while the ESJ's would be less like that. Perhaps they're more into the certainty of the past, but both SFJ's would be less cold and trite about it. The ESTJ might be less into the past, but I imagine would be even more cold and domineering since the Te is out front, and he is an In Charge or Choleric in social skills. I know one likely ISFJ, but don't know how resistant to change she is. My wife is ESFJ, and she too is very much into drawing wisdom from past experience, and doesn't seem so resistant to change, depending on what it is. She does avoid the unknown, for instance.
STJ tends to view things in a more authoritarian sense, so one lens they view the world through is subservience/rebellion. Some other types might seem rebellious, but more often they're just oblivious or indifferent to authority; I've seen younger SJs do things just to be socially cool (versus just being compliant), to assert that they aren't being dominated by authority, etc. It's a conscious paradigm, so often rebellion is a way to thwart authority rather than just a natural expression of the desire for autonomy.

It's pretty common to see them "settle down" later and become "productive members of society," it seems part of the traditional narrative, and they tend to read other people's behavior as either being compliant or rebellious.
That's interesting. You don't normally hear of SJ's as rebellious, but in my correlation, I had predicted that they would be under certain circumstances. What I believe is the corresponding type in FIRO is called "The Rebel". FIRO's descriptions focus more on the negative aspects of most of its behavior descriptions than MBTI does. What this is actually describing is the person's reactions to being forced into the unknown, or othewise having his boundaries crossed. With low expressed Control, he doesn't move to control others, but is a good leader in known or familiar areas, and is generally loyal to superiors. Yet with the low wanted control, he does not want to be pushed into the unknown or unfamiliar either. This obviously sounds like the Si preferring SJ type.

lol not all ISTJ's are that serious. In fact, I don't even like hearing about the seriousness right there. They must be very strong in some of the MBTI categories.
They were just being parents, and they were basically what we would now call "old school". Back then, they were considered new school, and their parents' generation was the original "old school" before hip hop picked up the term, and then it spread to everything else. They were actually more lenient than their parents were, as they kept reminding me. (My father's mother appearing to be ENTJ). But now, things have changed even further. They were much more lenient with my brother, who's 11 years younger. They attribute this both to learning from their mistakes with me, as well as growing older and more tired (and my brother was much more rambunctious). Some of it may also be simply me being the odd man out as a different type, and they didn't know what to do with me as we thought so differently.
 

entropie

Permabanned
Joined
Apr 24, 2008
Messages
16,767
MBTI Type
entp
Enneagram
783
Dad: istp
mom: isfj
sister: probably isfj or esfj (too early to type)

grandma 1: isfj
grandpa 1: intp

--

grandpa 2: estj (loved him !)
grandma 2: enfp

--

uncle 1: istj
aunt 1: no clue

uncle 2: isfp
aunt 2: no clue
 

redacted

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 28, 2007
Messages
4,223
mom: istj 6
dad: intp 5
younger brother (3 years): entp 3

aunts (mother's side): enfp 2, infj 9, infp 4 (i'm close to the enfp and the infp)
 

Spartacuss

wholly charmed
Joined
Apr 27, 2008
Messages
677
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5w4
ISFP Mom
ENFJ Dad
INFP Younger Brother
ESTP Younger Brother

--
I got along best with my dad growing up.
 

Jeffster

veteran attention whore
Joined
Jun 7, 2008
Messages
6,743
MBTI Type
ESFP
Enneagram
7w6
Instinctual Variant
sx
Mom - INFJ
Dad - INTJ
older brother - INTP
me - ISFP
younger brother - ISTP
son - ESTP
 

NewEra

New member
Joined
Dec 21, 2008
Messages
3,104
MBTI Type
I
STJ tends to view things in a more authoritarian sense, so one lens they view the world through is subservience/rebellion. Some other types might seem rebellious, but more often they're just oblivious or indifferent to authority; I've seen younger SJs do things just to be socially cool (versus just being compliant), to assert that they aren't being dominated by authority, etc. It's a conscious paradigm, so often rebellion is a way to thwart authority rather than just a natural expression of the desire for autonomy.

It's pretty common to see them "settle down" later and become "productive members of society," it seems part of the traditional narrative, and they tend to read other people's behavior as either being compliant or rebellious.

I've noticed this in me actually. I generally don't like authority ruling over me and telling me what to do, and I couldn't understand why. I don't think that being socially cool is what I'm trying to do though.
 

soon

New member
Joined
Jan 5, 2009
Messages
9
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
5w4
Mother: ISTJ
Father: INTJ
^ both to the EXTREME.

maternal grandparents didn't really speak english, so I don't know.
Paternal grandfather... probably INTP? or J?
Paternal grandmother, probably ESFJ, or something.

majority of relatives on my mothers side have at least E, S or J.
 

Jwill

New member
Joined
Jan 6, 2009
Messages
85
MBTI Type
INTJ
Mom: ISFJ
Dad: INFP (I always describe him to friends as "a guy a lot like Clark Kent")
Bro: ISTP
Sis: ESFJ
Sis: ISFJ
Me: INTJ

You can imagine the emotional arguments we had (have) in my family, especially between my parents and between my sisters. No rationality at all. It was insanely annoying for me, always playing the rational peacemaker. Luckily for me, no one was too extreme in their F-ness (except maybe my oldest sister).

I've been thinking that most of my immediate relatives are introverts. They never seemed that way to me before, but now it all makes sense. Outspoken inside the family, but few close family friends.
 
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