Relationships have normal ebbs and flows. They do not automatically get better and better when the participants learn more and more about each other. Instead, the participants have to work through the tensions of the relationship (the dialectic) while they learn and group themselves and a parties in a relationships. At times the relationships is very open and sharing. Other time, one or both parties to the relationship need their space, or have other concerns, and the relationship is less open. The theory posits that these cycles occur throughout the life of the relationship as the persons try to balance their needs for privacy and open relationship. Interpersonal Communication Theories and Concepts Social Penetration Theory 1 Social Penetration Theory 2 Social Penetration Theory 3
Father - XSFP (probably I, but so conforming that I can't tell when he's doing it to fit in or if he enjoys being in company)
Mother - ISTJ
Older brother - ESFP
Me - INTP
My position in the family swaps between Bearer of All Enlightment and Strange Space Alien, which makes for somewhat tenuous relationships (especially with my brother).
Edited to Add: And if you want to talk about an unhealthy Feeler/Thinker dynamic, you need only view my parents. My mother constantly appeals to my dad's logic to motivate him towards goals she thinks are important, while my father is too concerned about hurting others (including my mother) to truly assert his own way of doing things. It's utterly toxic.
"The subject chooses to sit in shadow and search for wisdom by reflecting upon his trial. The problem is not that he is cold and wet, but that cold and wet seems problematic, so he embraces those hardships in order to best them."