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Thread: What types are your family and friends?

  1. #201
    Senior Member Array mlittrell's Avatar
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    Me- ENFP
    Sister- ESTJ
    Mother- INFJ
    Father- INTJ

    its an odd combination
    "Honest differences are often a healthy sign of progress. "

    "You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty."

    "An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind."

    Mahatma Gandhi

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  2. #202
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    ESTJ - father
    ESFJ - brother
    ENFJ - mother
    ESTP - myself

    I try to use my "shadow" introvert skillz to hide from the madness

  3. #203
    Junior Member Array pure_sterling's Avatar
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    ME: INFP
    Mom: INFP
    Dad:ENTJ
    Brothers:ENTJ
    I get along way more with my mother, mostly because she's much more sensitive

  4. #204
    .~ *aĉa virino* ~. Array Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Me: INtP
    Sis: ISFJ
    Mom: ISFJ
    Dad: ESTP

    I've come to the realization lately, in the midst of some changes in the structure, that my family never really did "get" me and I really was a Changeling. It's not an excuse to not try, but they just never really could easily perceive my inclinations or motivations or thinking; I've been more enigmatic than I had realized.

    The ISFJs were just trying to be loving (Fe) and meanwhile ignore any misunderstandings if possible. The ESTP just looked at everything as jockeying for position.

    I developed my Fe as much as I could and otherwise had controlled information as much as possible, to avoid conflict.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  5. #205
    ⒺⓉⒷ Array Eric B's Avatar
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    My parents and brother are ISTJ, and almost "pure Melancholy" in the five temperament/three area system. I became so fascinated with temperament/type theory because it explains a ot of our clashes, particularly in S vs N and J vs P.
    To them, logic is based on objective fact, where to me, it's based on an internal framework. So I basically came across to them as being "in my own world" regarding logic, and too "technical" and abstract. I saw them as too strict with the need for order and closure, and the logic they would shoot out in personal problems as too trite and cold, being based on concrete "reality" and ignoring other factors.
    Even my mother, who as an "old school" sort of person (raised on a farm by really old fashioned people), was very much in touch with her tertiary Fi, to the point of seeming to be a Feeler; the T preference would quickly come up in advice, and this was confusing as I grew up. It seemed she turned cold, but she was basically modernizing with the times in the 80's, as the traditional role of women had been more F. Fi was something both parents would push on me as I entered adolescence, but it went over my head. My "Feeling" was more concerned more with the external harmony with others, and they believed harmony should start within, and you should have more of a logical harmony on the outside to get along with people (neatness in appearance, order,etc.) I could never understand this, and it was often aggrivating, and came acrossbto me as pacifying. If others don't respect you, just "respect yourself" and it will all work out.
    Thus this came up in their use of Fe, which was Trickster. They were not really concerned with shared values (generally calling society an "insane asylum"), but when I was having problems with people, they appealed to external values, and even overestimated them, as Berens even says. Like suggesting I had trouble getting girls because I would sometimes have wrinkes in my clothes, or because they saw me with my shirt coming untucked sometimes. Yet one girl I liked would hang around with a bummy guy who was dirty from head to toe. I tried to tell them that couldn't be it, but then they appealed to their age and knowledge. So again, it was confusing for them to call society an insane asylum, but then criticize me for not going along with it. But that was their way of trying to motivate me to grow and survive in the world. When they did articulate Ti "principles", they were quite literally, "critical parents".

    All of this came to mind recently, when at work, I was complaining about something. A lot of people in supervisory titles in this job seem to be ISTJ's. Everyone knows the system is screwy, but ISTJ's don't seem to like to hear complaining (unless they're the ones doing it the many times they're frustrated about something). So I get lectures about "being happy you have a job" and "it takes time to 'earn' your way up to seniority where things are easier", and then suggestions about looking for a new position. I didn't ask for any of that; I just voiced frustration with something. But that's what they do, and it was the same way with my parents. It seems that if the dominating type of society is ESTJ, then ISTJ (whom Keirsey called "the Inspector") is the supporter and enforcer of the system, even if they don't like everything about it. "That's life; just deal with it" is their motto.

    My brother seems a little different, but then that's probably because he's younger. He's more like our parents in their younger, rebellious age, and his Ne and Fi haven't developed yet. He's like them in being totally unimpressed with type theory. He thinks it's just another category or "box" people are put into like race, (apparently, a negative reaction to Ti, and a sign he's not an ENTP, as he seems like in some ways) and everybody is just who they are. My parents also can't seem to get too interested in temperament theory (probably too abstract for them, still), but they're not as openly skeptical of it as my brother. They've basically "mellowed" in their age, and are also remorseful for being so cold in the past.
    APS Profile: Inclusion: e/w=1/6 (Supine) |Control: e/w=7/3 (Choleric) |Affection: e/w=1/9 (Supine)
    Ti 54.3 | Ne 47.3 | Si 37.8 | Fe 17.7 | Te 22.5 | Ni 13.4 | Se 18.9 | Fi 27.9

    Temperament (APS) from scratch -- MBTI Type from scratch
    Type Ideas

  6. #206
    lackluster primate Array Night's Avatar
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    Me: INTJ
    Dad: ENTJ
    Mom: ISTJ
    Bro: ISxP

    Wife: ENFJ
    Mom-in-law: ESTJ
    Dad-in-law: INFP
    Bro-in-law #1: iNTj
    Bro-in-law #2: ESTP

  7. #207

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    Me: ENFP
    Mom: INTJ
    Dad: ISTJ
    Sister: ESTP

  8. #208
    Member Array dyspraxion's Avatar
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    Father: xxTJ
    Mother: ISFJ
    Brother: ISTP

    ...probably. I'm not sure of the first two for my father.

    I don't get along great with any of them, my father the least.


  9. #209
    Senior Member Array Leysing's Avatar
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    Me - INFP
    Father - ISTJ
    Mother - ESFJ (with whom I clash very frequently.)
    Sister - ISFJ

    Close relatives:
    Aunt - ISFJ
    Uncle - I_F_ something, probably. He's very difficult to type. Definitely Introvert, though.
    Cousin - ESTP
    Mother's cousin - ESTP

    Mainly SJs here. Heh, somehow I always felt different.

  10. #210
    .~ *aĉa virino* ~. Array Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Eric B View Post
    Thus this came up in their use of Fe, which was Trickster. They were not really concerned with shared values (generally calling society an "insane asylum"), but when I was having problems with people, they appealed to external values, and even overestimated them, as Berens even says.
    That's pretty amazing. I had never thought much about it in this regard, but as you described it, yes, I see it. Do you think they believe in the values, or is it more an acknowledgment that, regardless of how crazy/arbitrary the value(s) is, it's still the way the world works and so it must be acknowledged?

    All of this came to mind recently, when at work, I was complaining about something. A lot of people in supervisory titles in this job seem to be ISTJ's. Everyone knows the system is screwy, but ISTJ's don't seem to like to hear complaining (unless they're the ones doing it the many times they're frustrated about something). So I get lectures about "being happy you have a job" and "it takes time to 'earn' your way up to seniority where things are easier, and then suggestions about looking for a new job. I didn't ask for any of that; I just voiced frustration with something. But that's what they do, and it was the same way with my parents. It seems that is the dominating type of society is ESTJ, then ISTJ (whome Keirsey called "the Inspector") is the supporter and enforcer of the system.
    Definitely. I have had to grapple with ISxJ mentality a great deal recently and have really gotten a good grasp of how resistant to change they are. They want stability, and the litmus test is what has existed in the past. Yes, they'll change things that don't work in the least, but otherwise if it works, it is now the ideal; and everything is bent towards preserving it. I'm realizing there is almost a physical sense of vertigo that some of the experience when the world changes against their will around them; they can't figure out where to stand or even who they are, and nothing makes sense.

    I've seen this behavior you describe a lot -- where a complaint or expression of feeling is seen more as an irrelevant critique. Sometimes I think the advice is even meant to be helpful: They have a strong Si sense of the world and they know how they have to accommodate and work it (Te), so they're imparting wisdom, albeit more stoic and resigned to the way things are.

    My brother seems a little different, but then that's probably because he's younger. He's more like our parents in their younger, rebellious age, and his Ne and Fi haven't developed yet. He's like them in being totally unimpressed with type theory. He thinks it's just another category or "box" people are put into like race, (apparently, a negative reaction to Ti, and a sign he's not an ENTP, as he seems like in some ways) and everybody is just who they are. My parents also can't seem to get too interested in temperament theory (probably too abstract for them, still), but they're not as openly skeptical of it as my brother.
    STJ tends to view things in a more authoritarian sense, so one lens they view the world through is subservience/rebellion. Some other types might seem rebellious, but more often they're just oblivious or indifferent to authority; I've seen younger SJs do things just to be socially cool (versus just being compliant), to assert that they aren't being dominated by authority, etc. It's a conscious paradigm, so often rebellion is a way to thwart authority rather than just a natural expression of the desire for autonomy.

    It's pretty common to see them "settle down" later and become "productive members of society," it seems part of the traditional narrative, and they tend to read other people's behavior as either being compliant or rebellious.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

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