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  1. #41
    Senior Member ptgatsby's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Varelse View Post
    :steam: There's no way that I'd trust my parents to make that decision.
    Interestingly enough, it seems to work... if you are to get married at a young age and your parents aren't after just money It seems that young people don't know how to pick a compatible mate and that societies that this is a norm involves more duty based expectations, which makes the relationship endure (and seemingly is generally happier... there is something to living up to expectations).

    Doesn't work that way in the modern world though, with western values (individualism) so omnipresent.

    But yes, that site is disturbing if that is what you mean It just depends on who you parents are... putting you up for auction is not a good sign.

  2. #42
    Wait, what? Varelse's Avatar
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    I can see where it would work sometimes, but I still wouldn't participate. My mom is very much traditional ISFJ, and would have put me in a situation where I'd be expected to be a housewife, bear children, and generally fit her ideal.
    We are not poets
    We have no right to make amendments

  3. #43
    Senior Member ptgatsby's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Varelse View Post
    I can see where it would work sometimes, but I still wouldn't participate. My mom is very much traditional ISFJ, and would have put me in a situation where I'd be expected to be a housewife, bear children, and generally fit her ideal.
    Yup, it really depends on the parents... I think it just depends on if we are able to pick ourselves (it seems that this is not really all that great) relative to if others could pick better. *shrug* I trust myself more than my parents, that much I can say.

  4. #44
    Lex Parsimoniae Xander's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by FMWarner View Post
    I don't understand a lot of the angst over this topic. Sure, lots of people's mothers would like them to have the traditional wedding with the usual bells and whistles. But it's the couple's day, and if I'm invited to a wedding where the bride and groom want to wear barrels and get married by a billy goat, then I'll toast the billy goat with a smile.

    By the same token, if they want a three tiered cake, a white dress, and "Here Comes The Bride" on the organ, I'll celebrate that, too. Just because something is the most preferred, comfortable option doesn't make it inherently bad. It doesn't mean people are mindless unthinking skin bags. It just means that for whatever reason (and the reason is irrelevant) that's what's going to make their day special and meaningful to them. And any guests worth inviting will defer.
    There are distinct differences between those who do these things because they're supposed to and those who do them because they prefer to. I recently went to a wedding where they were all dressed like you see in the photos but I knew the guy. He's the sort where the formal occasions are something he enjoys so yes it was a lovely day.

    There are however some who think that this is the only way a wedding can be and like a cat with claustrophobia I stay well clear of such narrow spaces.
    Isn't it time for a colourful metaphor?

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