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Thread: A favor

  1. #1
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    Default A favor

    Hypothetically speaking say there is a person A who does things for person B, things they would of done anyway regardless of if person B was around or not (but they benefit person B)

    Sometimes person B asks person A for specific favors, sometimes person A does them sometimes they don't

    Now lets say person A asks person B for a favor but person B says no

    Lets say person A gets extremely outrageously angry/upset and says harsh things towards person B

    Is person B wrong for refusing the specific favor?
    Is person A wrong for saying the nasty things?
    If so, why/why not?

    Eg. Because person A does more things for person B
    or should person A of said they "needed" the favor rather than asked therefore not giving person B the option of saying no (Eg. Is there a point in asking if you don't have a choice?)

  2. #2
    Senior Member Snow Turtle's Avatar
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    Person A is wrong - however the emotional outburst is understandable.

    The favors weren't exchanges. Basically as long as there is no clearly defined contract between two individual, it frankly doesn't exist. It's the same reason that it's wrong to assume that somebody will be nice to you, as long as you are nice to them. Most people find this a reasonable position to take because reciprocity generally works however it's not 100% guaranteed.

    Mentioning 'need' might have changed things as it introduces an element of urgency however Person B is always well within their rights to decline.

  3. #3
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    Thankyou Kai

    Do you believe most people out in the world would believe person B was in the wrong?

    PS. Person A had someone else backing them up/agreeing with them

  4. #4
    Senior Member Snow Turtle's Avatar
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    Many will see Person B as wrong considering people usually deal with unspoken contracts, unless they are working within a business setting. He'll definitely get berated for being a bad friend.

    Had I been in the position of A.

    First I'd speak about it's urgency - if Person B still declined. I'd then look into the motivation behind that decision to see whether it's a good reason. If not, I'd question our relationship and will most likely move away from the said person, dealing with them only when required on an impersonal level.

    I'd be pretty pissed off with the dude even if I understood logically that he's allowed to do that.

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    Thanks okay... now what if person B explains to person A that they only declined because they were given the option with a yes or no question but if they really needed the help they would (cause clearly they can see the person really cares about it)

    Person A in a fit of rage says to person B "No I'll do it myself!, just go away!"

  6. #6
    Senior Member Snow Turtle's Avatar
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    Mmm tricky. I'm inclined to agree with PersonB.

    Depends on the reason he did not want to offer help to PersonA. I can't say I'm surprised by Person A's reaction, he obviously thought that Person B would be willing to help.

    I could argue that Person B should have taken into considerations of Person A's feeling regarding the whole matter, and attempt to find out how urgent it was. But to be honest I also feel that people are responsible for themselves when it comes to communicating expectations and needs, though some would disagree with me here.

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kai View Post
    Mmm tricky. I'm inclined to agree with PersonB.

    Depends on the reason he did not want to offer help to PersonA. I can't say I'm surprised by Person A's reaction, he obviously thought that Person B would be willing to help.

    I could argue that Person B should have taken into considerations of Person A's feeling regarding the whole matter, and attempt to find out how urgent it was. But to be honest I also feel that people are responsible for themselves when it comes to communicating expectations and needs, though some would disagree with me here.
    Thats alright, I agree with you Interestingly the person backing up person A was an ESFJ

    Btw I agree with person B

  8. #8
    half mystic, half skeksis jenocyde's Avatar
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    B may be a bit of a douche for not just helping his friend in the first place, especially since it was so minor. What harm could it do, really? But A is clearly in the wrong for false expectations and bad behavior.

    I can imagine it like this: person A set person B up. Maybe A felt used or overburdened with the friendship and wanted to see if B would ever reciprocate. But the flaw is that A asked such a minor thing and saw that B didn't want to do it, so A was fed up and exploded. When B came back and said he'd do it, it was too little too late because he had already shown his true self - at least in the eyes of A. A felt justified in thinking he had a bad friend but failed to realize that maybe B would be there if shit really went down. The punishment did not fit the crime. But of course, all Ne speculation...

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