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Can "Nice Guys" Be T's??

Mondo

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Most of my peers describe as a nice, sincere, and good-hearted person. More than one person has described me as one of the kindest people he or she has met.

Does this necessarily make me an F though? I consider myself someone who is loyal and is extremely devoted to his friends. I care a lot about others. However, does that mean I'm definitely an F or could these be traits of a T too?


I say this because I am not particularly comfortable with expressing emotion but it bothers me when those close to me aren't happy..
 

BlackCat

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Nice guy = personality trait, not type trait. There are PLENTY of T type nice guys. PLENTY.

You think that you're an F because you're devoted to your friends, because you're loyal, and because you care about others? Those are also personality traits, not type traits.

What got that thought going through your head?
 

Lady_X

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i don't really know you at all but know you've been confused about your type for a long time. do you really not relate to one description over the other? i would think even if you were very balanced on t/f that one would feel more accurate...no?
 

ajblaise

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I think F types are more likely to take someone's feeling into account before they make decisions, so that can prevent a lot of assholishness if they so choose to. But IxTx types can also sometimes come across as the nice guy because of the introversion.
 

BlackCat

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I think F types are more likely to take someone's feeling into account before they make decisions, so that can prevent a lot of assholishness if they so choose to. But IxTx types can also sometimes come across as the nice guy because of the introversion.

I don't think he means nice guy in that sense, the sense of nice guy vs asshole toward women.
 

ajblaise

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I don't think he means nice guy in that sense, the sense of nice guy vs asshole toward women.

He put it in quotes, so that made me think of the stereotype "nice guy", versus just a nice guy.
 

BlackCat

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He put it in quotes, so that made me think of the stereotype "nice guy", versus just a nice guy.

Yeah I was responding to the stereotype nice guy as well, then I actually read the OP. :D
 

Mondo

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I don't mean it in the nice guy vs. asshole sense necessarily.
It's just that I've been getting a better sense of how my friends perceive me and I've been letting my friends know how I perceive them.
We've been letting each other know what's good about us and what we can improve on. I was more surprised by the compliments than the criticisms.. I criticize myself much worse than any of my friends can.. but many sincerely called me one of the kindest people they've ever met. I always try to help others and give my support. I guess 'kind guy' may be a better word.

However, I have observed many of the more Feeling-oriented people in my group of friends.
Even if they aren't necessarily kind, something many of them have in common is an easiness and willingness to express their emotions to others.
Such emotional expression often bothers me and I think that's somewhat of a motivation in itself for me to help others.
 

BlackCat

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So explain why that relates to T vs F? Some of the T people I know are some of the nicest people I've ever met.

Man, only a jackass T would disregard the OP like that.

Crap, that must mean I'm INTP! I knew it! I knew that scoring 51% feeling (borderline, 2% less and I'd be a T) meant that I was an oddball! [/sarcasm] Personality Profile of Chris W (Personality Type) WHAT DOES THIS MEAN AJ (lol that test fails by the way, for me anyway).
 

Lauren Ashley

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I know a few ISTP guys who are very nice. One is so nice and caring, it's a bit eerie.
 

substitute

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this reminds me of the phenomenon that sometimes causes friction between my brother and I.

When people first meet us, their impressions are that he (ENFP) is really warm, friendly, open and nice. Nice is the word they always use about him. Whereas they're more likely to use "good" about me, seeing me as a little too cold or detached perhaps, to be called "nice", but yet willing to help all the same and pretty much without malice.

Several months later, they find that most of the things my brother said he'd do, he's bailed on, and the warmth and friendliness he expressed once was situational and not an expression of deep sentiment. Whilst I've gradually and steadily earned their trust by not making extravagant promises and expressions of sympathy, but just modest ones and following them through. So whilst I'm still just "good" and not "nice", he's now being called flaky, unreliable and insincere.

In a way I have the potential to be like that too, but I think being side by side with my brother all these years who's quite a lot higher P and lower N, has forced me to play the role of the "sensible one" against my nature, to save us both from running into disaster. Though most of my friends who don't see me with my brother often or at all see me as "head in the clouds" and eccentric, crazy etc, those who tend to either deliberately or otherwise automatically pair and compare me with him in their heads, tend to see me as level-headed and even uptight - though in reality this is only by comparison.

I'm not saying this is representative of anything, just a little anecdote to illustrate that there's more to being a good person than being a nice person.
 

substitute

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I know a few ISTP guys who are very nice. One is so nice and caring, it's a bit eerie.

Yeah, ISTP's are total rocks, man. They're like, the salt of the earth, innit. They're not sweet, and will probably glare at you in that way they do if you say they are. But definitely good, and usually nice.
 

Mondo

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Another thing I am thinking about is criticism.
I often have difficulty giving criticism but easily take it from others.
I tend to understand when criticism is meant to be helpful.
There are some people who are much easier to criticize than others.. I have trouble doing so for people who I feel will get pissed off at me- even if what I have to say is very much true.
People say that I tend to be reassuring, in terms of body language and words, that when I criticize someone- it's hard to offend the person though.
 

A Schnitzel

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Dude it sounds like you have some pretty bad social confidence issues.

Is there a nice guy stereotype? Whenever I read nice, I hear Borats voice in my head.
 

Lauren Ashley

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Another thing I am thinking about is criticism.
I often have difficulty giving criticism but easily take it from others.

This leads me to think you're more ENFP. No ENTP I know, not one, has difficulty giving criticism, which results in many debates and fights that could have easily been avoided. On the other hand, the ENFPs tend to be concerned about how their words will be received.
 

run

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all the ENFPs I know (like 9) are nice people...
 

Cenomite

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When push comes to shove I consider myself to be nice, nicer than most people I know actually. With me at least, how nice I am isn't obvious at face-value. It just becomes apparent when I get deep into a situation.

I'd elaborate more but I'm not sure exactly what you want to hear, ask specific questions if you want.
 

Orangey

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This leads me to think you're more ENFP. No ENTP I know, not one, has difficulty giving criticism, which results in many debates and fights that could have easily been avoided. On the other hand, the ENFPs tend to be concerned about how their words will be received.

Maybe this is different extroverts, but for the time being I consider myself to be INTP, and I definitely temper the things that I say to certain people. If I know someone is sensitive and will take the criticism badly no matter how I say it, then I will avoid saying it. It doesn't seem worth the conflict. Does this make me F?

Furthermore, and in line with substitute's anecdote, the differences between me and my INFJ friend show in how we express our feelings to others. On the surface, she is much more friendly and willing to reach out to others and connect (even at her own expense sometimes). This leads people to think that she's the nicer, more pleasant one. Then they react badly when she's not in the mood and won't go through on things that she promised she'd do earlier when she was in a good mood (or she will go through with them, but not happily, and this will show). For me, I won't be as effusive or willing to sacrifice myself for the sake of accommodating the feelings of others, but if I say I'll do something for you, I will do it with all the good will that my unexpressed feelings demand.
 
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