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Thread: The selfish Fi

  1. #31
    rawr Costrin's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lorkan View Post
    I think it has something to do with INTP's not being so much upfront in opinions. When my father (INTP) and I discussed interesting things, I tend to think that we are agreeing many things. But he seems to have alot of opinions that he deliveres when I'm off-guard, kind of a sneaky way. Exactly when my lighty P-side comes out. And it produces a reaction that seems very much like the ESTP shadow.

    So it's not that you don't have the right to your opinion, just don't be so snakelike in your attitude and be more upfront. And also. Im guessing the anger from her (them) could also be that your opinions is of that sort that it is about controling their lives and making it easier for you, and not about aiding them (wich it should be, if you want a healthy relationship). Or it would be good to express it in a sensitive way that you are not there to piss them of but to aid them, with the opinions.
    I am not sure how you got that anywhere in his posts.
    "All humour has a foundation of truth."
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  2. #32
    Senior Member Jaguar's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lorkan View Post

    So it's not that you don't have the right to your opinion, just don't be so snakelike in your attitude and be more upfront. And also. Im guessing the anger from her (them) could also be that your opinions is of that sort that it is about controling their lives and making it easier for you, and not about aiding them (wich it should be, if you want a healthy relationship). Or it would be good to express it in a sensitive way that you are not there to piss them of but to aid them, with the opinions.

    Cut the manipulative crap please. It doesn't fly with me.

    No one needs to aid a spoiled woman who cries over bedding,
    or a nutcase who accuses her husband of "abuse,"
    because he knocked over her obsessive-compulsive disordered coins on the kitchen table.

    Frankly, people like that are emotionally unstable. Period.

    BTW, I don't know what your INTP point was.
    If you are under the impression I'm an INTP you are dead wrong, cookie.
    I do find it unfair that you would somehow connect INTPs with being a snake.

    I don't know what thoughts are going on in that little head of yours,
    but my post was quite direct, as is this one.

    So far, the only snake-like creature I see . . . is you.
    There is nothing direct about your communication style at all.

  3. #33
    Senior Member sculpting's Avatar
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    you guys confused me. But I am knda slow so heh..

    For me Fi can be quite selfish, however once I understood the concept of each Fi being nique it did make it a lot simplier to understand why my version may not be quite accurate. Now when arond other Fis I can see when we conflict regarding our own internal version.

    (I had another enfp tell me I was unethical and lacked work ethic. It was so not true that it was kinda funny)

    Does hold true for Ti as well-Is each version unique? I think I asked this somewhere else... on a long lost thread perhaps.... but the rainbows are eating through my grey matter today.

  4. #34
    Senior Member Jaguar's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by happy puppy View Post

    For me Fi can be quite selfish, however once I understood the concept of each Fi being nique it did make it a lot simplier to understand why my version may not be quite accurate. Now when arond other Fis I can see when we conflict regarding our own internal version.
    Well there was an INFP who stepped into the NT room, making some smart-assed comment.
    What really struck me was, the person said they couldn't be bothered reading everyone else's posts.
    I thought to myself, shit, what a selfish idiot.
    Why should anyone bother to read their posts if the INFP couldn't be bothered reading the posts of others?

    BTW, does that mean all INFPs are like that particular person? Nope.

  5. #35
    rawr Costrin's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by happy puppy View Post
    Does hold true for Ti as well-Is each version unique? I think I asked this somewhere else... on a long lost thread perhaps.... but the rainbows are eating through my grey matter today.
    Yes, but in a different way. Each Ti functions pretty similiarly, and so does Fi, but the specific information and experiences they get are different. So for Fi, that leads to different values, but for Ti, it leads to different intellectual positions.
    "All humour has a foundation of truth."
    - Costrin

  6. #36
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lauren Ashley View Post
    I'm currently lying in a maroon comforter. With maroon sheets. Why you would want to mix maroon and blue is beyond me. You might want to add, on top of "inflexible," "uncoordinated."

    Oh, and welcome!



    INFJs like INTJs need to exert control on their external surroundings.

  7. #37
    Senior Member wildcat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by FireyPheonix View Post
    Hmmmm....I have heard this thrown about occasionally on this forum. What brought it to mind is my experience with a superior at work who I believe displays Selfish Fi.
    Has any one seen this in action (examples please) and they dealt with it? Did you manage to type the person etc.
    I would like to to get at the heart of why Fi can seem selfish.
    Perception is about the other.
    Judgement is about the ego.

    Ti and Fi is about the reflection of the ego.
    Te and Fe do not reflect.

    Reflection is to see in the eye of another.

  8. #38
    ⒺⓉⒷ Eric B's Avatar
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    That brings to mind this idea I came up with a while ago:
    http://www.typologycentral.com/forum...tml#post417057

    In that case, Fi is definitely the most "subjective". (introversion more "subjective" than extroversion; Feeling more "subjective" than thinking, and judgment more "subjective" ("about the ego") than perception ("about the other"). That's probably why it might come off as selfish.
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    Ti 54.3 | Ne 47.3 | Si 37.8 | Fe 17.7 | Te 22.5 | Ni 13.4 | Se 18.9 | Fi 27.9

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  9. #39
    Feelin' FiNe speculative's Avatar
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    My Fi wants to mix it up with this thread. I guess it is selfish... :smiley_violin: Just remember for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction; Fi is not the beginning or the end, something caused it and it will cause something else...
    "How can I be, all I want to be,
    When all I want to do is strip away these stilled constraints
    And crush this charade, shred this sad, masquerade"
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qGeq5v7L3WM

  10. #40
    Member michL87's Avatar
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    This makes sense, but it's more of a misunderstanding (one that strong Fi's should work on.. me included.) Fi lets people know how another person feels, and they don't have to ask outfront. I suppose to others this can be seen as selfishness, but to the Fi, why ask something you already know? It's important to remind ourselves that others can't magically know we understand, and we have to talk it out.

    While Fi might appear selfish in verbal situations, people get a clearer understanding of how it's not selfish when reading something written by someone with strong Fi and can experience how they actually are connected with people other than themselves, even if they don't show it 100% of the time.
    "Imagination creates beauty, hope, magic, and happiness, which are everything in this world."

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