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  1. #31
    Senior Member mlittrell's Avatar
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    i make fun of their cynicism. it lightens them up a bit. or i do an over dramatic cynicism and they see how stupid it is. depends on the person.
    "Honest differences are often a healthy sign of progress. "

    "You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty."

    "An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind."

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  2. #32
    Artisan Conquerer Halla74's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kai View Post
    A friend believes that people are fundamentally bad. How do you react?
    Tell you friend that means he/she is also fundamentally bad. So there. Rock on with your bad self.

  3. #33
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Halla74 View Post
    Tell you friend that means he/she is also fundamentally bad. So there. Rock on with your bad self.
    haha!! that's how ya do it kids!
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  4. #34
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    I am a fluctuating bias towards both cynicism and seeing the light in all people. Though i believe the whole neutral thing.

  5. #35
    Artisan Conquerer Halla74's Avatar
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    All human beings are capable of doing great good, or doing great evil. We are creatures of free will. We are the products of our genetics + our formative environment operating in the life of our current experiences. To cast all humans into the "all good" or "all bad" category is juvenile bullshit, IMHO.

    Thinking as above causes needless pessimistic baggage to poisons one's constitution and wastes brain capacity from accomplishing bigger and better things, like helping old ladies with their groceries, finding great new music, or doing whatever necessary to give the cute girl that's about to get on a bus a flower with your phone number wrapped around it. I'm living my life, not walking around with a poopy little attitude sulking about how mean and bad all the people around me are. Whatever.

  6. #36
    Plumage and Moult proteanmix's Avatar
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    Wow, so I guess I'll check in as a cynical person.

    I aspire to be realistic (not pessimistic) about the range of behavior people are capable of. I'm not one who particularly wants to have on rose-colored glasses about people, but wants see them for who and what they are.

    And I just looked cynical up and it suggests a disbelief in the sincerity of human motives. Yeah, I do that a lot. In fact I just got this email from Career Track about the different types of "people:"

    • The Know-It-Alls: They're arrogant and usually have an opinion on every issue. When they're wrong, they get defensive.
    • The Passives: These people never offer ideas or let you know where they stand.
    • The Dictators: They bully and intimidate. They're constantly demanding and brutally critical.
    • The Gripers: Is anything ever right with them? They prefer complaining to finding solutions.
    • The "Yes" People: They agree to any commitment, yet rarely deliver. You can't trust them to follow through.
    • The "No" People: They are quick to point out why something won't work. Worse, they're inflexible.


    I guess what I call being cynical (I can't think of a more neutral word for it) is having a conscious awareness of the more negative aspects of a person's behavior and incorporating that element into my assessments about that person. You see this type of behavior from people on a daily basis and being ready for how to recognize and deal with it is my approach. I mean I can picture a few of my coworkers doing some shady shady shit, based on how their mind runs and what they've done. I'd be stupid to ignore that, I think.

    I'm not saying it should overtake you and morph into some horrible misanthrope or a perpetual Debbie Downer or Bob Bummer cause that really isn't any fun. Nope, not at all.
    Relationships have normal ebbs and flows. They do not automatically get better and better when the participants learn more and more about each other. Instead, the participants have to work through the tensions of the relationship (the dialectic) while they learn and group themselves and a parties in a relationships. At times the relationships is very open and sharing. Other time, one or both parties to the relationship need their space, or have other concerns, and the relationship is less open. The theory posits that these cycles occur throughout the life of the relationship as the persons try to balance their needs for privacy and open relationship.
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  7. #37
    Senior Member ceecee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by proteanmix View Post

    I aspire to be realistic (not pessimistic) about the range of behavior people are capable of. I'm not one who particularly wants to have on rose-colored glasses about people, but wants see them for who and what they are.
    I see myself fitting this description more than being cynical. I have difficulty with the concept of trusting/believing/feeling people are good right from the get-go until they cause me to believe otherwise. That's foolish. Lay it out there in front of me, mane. If you're an asshole then show me. If you're not I want to see that too.
    I like to rock n' roll all night and *part* of every day. I usually have errands... I can only rock from like 1-3.

  8. #38
    Senior Member Moiety's Avatar
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    I just tell them "You're right. Best start watching your back next time we hang out."

  9. #39
    Senior Member Tiltyred's Avatar
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    That's something I would definitely leave the other person alone about. If you can't handle their outlook, leave them be. Telling them they're wrong won't help anything. If they could trust talk, they would not be where they are now.

    Really the only thing you can do to change the opinion that people are bad is not to be bad.

    And I think if you get caught up in forcing the person to change his/her mind via talk rather than the slow way, via experience and letting the person come to see this on his own, you will get dropped before you will have a chance to have an effect.

    So polish your halo and practice your patience and be good, really good, good enough so they can see it.

    Or walk off.

  10. #40
    Member Antreus's Avatar
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    Fundamentally bad is pretty ambiguous if you ask me. Economists relate many things based on individuals decisions that are rooted in self-interest. But people don't always do things in their self interest, are rather gregarious, and do follow herd mentality.

    The world does suffer. I guess it depends on how you deal with cynics. I think it is healthy to incorporate what is ideal with what is reality and set a course from there. The goal being to alleviate or end suffering. I think most of our problems are man made, thus they can be fixed by man.

    Saying all people are fundamentally bad, which is subjective entirely, I don't see as a good argument. What is bad depends on where in society you stand at any given point, as is what is good. What is bad for me and my circle may not carry the same light in another.

    Saying all people are bad, it seems he is protecting himself far too much from the external world thus limiting his perspective a bit I think. If that is your only outlook on life it will reciprocate to you in kind. Seeing the world as ugly in bad tends to have it reflect that much heavily on your reasoning and perceptions.

    All things are perpetual and in motion, hard to say one thing is the same no matter what.
    His form has passed away, he has become a mirror: naught is there but the image of another's face.

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