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Idealists - How do you deal with cynical people?

Kangirl

I'm a star.
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So polish your halo and practice your patience and be good, really good, good enough so they can see it.

Or walk off.

Word.

I am of the 'neutral/capable of everything good or bad' school, in general.
 

Nonsensical

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I feel like highly cynical people do it for attention. They kind of strike me as being full of themselves so they have to beat down on a lot of things and sometimes promote their cynisism in times of a need for attention.
 

lunalum

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A friend believes that people are fundamentally bad. How do you react?

I haven't found a way to prove the neutrality or good of humanity yet, so I leave cynical people alone... for now.
 

BerberElla

12 and a half weeks
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That's something I would definitely leave the other person alone about. If you can't handle their outlook, leave them be. Telling them they're wrong won't help anything. If they could trust talk, they would not be where they are now.

Really the only thing you can do to change the opinion that people are bad is not to be bad.

And I think if you get caught up in forcing the person to change his/her mind via talk rather than the slow way, via experience and letting the person come to see this on his own, you will get dropped before you will have a chance to have an effect.

So polish your halo and practice your patience and be good, really good, good enough so they can see it.

Or walk off.

Absolutely. I'm a really cynical person inspite of being an idealist, infact my cynicism stems from realising idealism is a false image of everything around me.

I am slow to trust anyone, slow to let anyone in and the only people who ever get in are the ones who just let me see rather than try to force me or get judgemental upon me just because I have obviously found it harder to cope with the bad things that have happened to me in my life.

Sometimes people have been broken so much that they no longer find it easy to believe in people. Of course some types are better equipped to bounce back quicker, but that's them.

However my cynicism is hidden in sarcastic humour that my friends highly enjoy, and I very rarely let anyone see just how distant I really am from them.

I know cynical people too, and of course I understand that it can be draining upon an empathic person, or annoying to the non empathic, I feel it too whenever I am on a high and I am around them. I just grin and bear it because that's what friendship means to me.

However 2 cynics trying to cheer each other up can be frustratingly hilarious at times. :rofl1:

I idealise my friends though, because they got past my cynical barrier with time and patience.


I feel like highly cynical people do it for attention. They kind of strike me as being full of themselves so they have to beat down on a lot of things and sometimes promote their cynisism in times of a need for attention.

I don't think so, I think highly cynical people are so hurt they can't manage to believe in anything or anyone anymore. I don't think they want attention from it, since as a highly cynical person I very rarely tell anyone what I feel when I'm in a darker period. Attention is the last thing I want, to bring someone else low with my dark mood? hell no.

I think judging people who have lost their mojo is a waste of time, just try to understand what must have driven that person to become so jaded.
 

Tiltyred

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Hey, BerberElla, you just might be all right. I'd give you a shot, anyway. :hug:
 

PuddleRiver

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A disappointed idealist can be a pretty cynical person. On the outside, anyway. On the inside... 'where there's life, there's hope'. :cheese:
 

MrME

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I've actually had this conversation with somebody, and I understand it. I am quite cynical myself. BerberElla said pretty much everything that I'd say, almost verbatim, actually.

Are we born into goodness or badness? No. People are born neutral, with the capabilities for both good and bad. Our parents and peers set most of the values we eventually adopt, but most people don't seem willing or able to question the values that have been handed down to them, even when those values are obviously destructive.

If you have some poor kid being raised by apathetic or abusive parents, what kind of values does that teach? "I punch you because I love you." Now you have a kid that associates violence with love. Nice going, Dad. :mad:
 

Serendipity

the Dark Prophet of Kualu
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Mar 24, 2009
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Cynicism. Originally it's a view that concerns a type of idealism, IMO.
Seeing the world for what it is, and defining your values in a way to better alter yourself for further comings.
I am an idealist cynic. I value feelings and truth, freedom and knowledge.

Regarding the question though and the new way of seeing cynics; I try to find every possible solution to their problems and if that does not work, I try, and try and try again. And then I usually get frustrated and give up. Later, perhaps an hour or two, I guess I just set in to try again.
I usually win the debate and I can see that most think of what I may have answered. Most aren't that cynical towards me, I always get under their skin. A friend once told me; "Whenever I am around you, I feel I can behave as if there's no one there, naturally. You never judge me for what I do. I like that."

Change is the only known constant. ( if we do not allow math into the scene, then of course; 1+1 is always 2. But that is a sphere that stands alone, in and out of itself.)
 

OrangeAppled

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Absolutely. I'm a really cynical person inspite of being an idealist, infact my cynicism stems from realising idealism is a false image of everything around me.

I am slow to trust anyone, slow to let anyone in

Yeah, I am similar.
If people ask me if I am optimistic or pessimistic, I say neither, I am idealistic which inevitably leads to disappointment. I always maintain some hope in life though, or I probably wouldn't be here anymore....


I have known some cynical types who think it makes them smarter to be so, and they do look at upbeat people critically and like to smash their hopes/dreams with their remarks. I don't particularly like that attitude. My cynicism is usually reserved for myself. I retain my idealism for others, and try to encourage them in their goals.
 
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