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  1. #1
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    Default T women - come here please

    I'd love to have a discussion about being a T woman in a society that expects you to be an F. Do you consider it an asset to be T or do you wish that you were a F? Are you conciously trying to develop your F skills? If you are a parent, do you think you are less nurturing? What about romance?

    Personally being a T and also slightly I, it's really caused some issues over the years. While I've always been relatively 'accepted' by my peers and I have friends, looking back I realize that I was always on the fringes of the popular girls and I realize now that they were mostly feelers. I felt like a square peg. I didn't have Tiger Beat posters all over my wall, nor did I scream when Shaun Cassidy came on TV, I wasn't into all of that. I secretly read encyclopedias and how-to books. As an adult, I have lousey sympathy skills, though I'm trying to make an effort in this area. I am embarrassed that when someone has a death in the family, I never know what to say other than 'I'm sorry' and I only sign my name on the bottom of the card and call to offer to make a casserole. I never have the right words to make someone feel better. Though sometimes depending on the situation I will offer lots of practical advice. When my friend was going through infertility, I offered to help her find the clinic with the highest IVF success rate. That was all I could do.

    I'm fairly confident and am quite happy about myself, still I can tell that I'm 'different.'

  2. #2
    Senior Member bluebell's Avatar
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    That's pretty much what my life has been like but I've learnt to accept it (accept is not quite the right word but close enough). This is hard to put into words. I've typed and deleted quite a few sentences writing this post. The typical female stuff I see at work I generally don't relate to and can't picture what it would be like to be like that, so I don't really have a 'I want to be like them' kind of mindset. XSTJ women seem to fit in reasonably well as far as I can tell, though.

    I'll think about this and maybe post a bit more later when I can articulate my thoughts a bit better.
    ...so much smoke pouring out of each chromosome.

  3. #3
    insert random title here Randomnity's Avatar
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    I'm happy being a T. It might make me stick out more, but I think it's more...useful to be a T in our society. I don't relate well to most females and hence all my good friends, and most of my acquaintances, are male. This doesn't bother me.

    I do wish I had better interpersonal skills, though I think that's more I than T. I haven't really seen it cause "problems" in romantic relationships. It maybe means I'm more blunt than average, I don't know.

    How many of the typical "female" traits do you think are F-traits?
    -end of thread-

  4. #4
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    Some of that describes me and I have consciously tried to develop my F with some success (Fi anyway). I don't wish I was a different type, I work at being as balanced as I can be.

    I went the tomboy route, I was one of the guys since I couldn't be one of the girls. I was a jock so that fit me pretty well. I've always had a lot of guy friends. I'm not a parent so I can't answer that question. Romance wise I enjoy flirting so that helped me fit in, plus I intentionally played down how smart I was as a teen.

    Don't you be dissin' Shawn Cassidy, I totally crushed on him (and his half brother David of the Partridge Family ).

  5. #5
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    I'm happy being T, but sometimes I feel like an inadequate nurturer because of it, and I feel like some guys are not as interested in me because I'm not the sort of woman who just constantly gives out strokes to make others feel good.

    I work in a technical field, though, so in that sense the "T" is more useful -- it builds credibility in the eyes of the men, who are prone to discount women who act too "fem." They do well with T's and most FJs -- anything that provides structure -- but FP women are treated as sort of "fluffy" by them.

    I don't know. I think I've developed a really good F/N face, so I can emote soft and encouraging in circumstances I want to, while other times remaining scrappy and resilient.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  6. #6
    Shaman BlackCat's Avatar
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    I think T women who are in touch with their F side to be ridiculously attractive (in a non physical way of course). When I meet one of these kinds of people I feel compelled to keep up the communication, whether it's for friendship or anything more. Rock on.

    EDIT: Let me clarify what I said. I think your personalities are very attractive.
    () 9w8-3w4-7w6 tritype.

    sCueI (primary Inquisition)

  7. #7
    heart on fire
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    I felt like a square peg. I didn't have Tiger Beat posters all over my wall, nor did I scream when Shaun Cassidy came on TV, I wasn't into all of that.
    This isn't exclusive to T females. I was totally this way as a teen.

  8. #8
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    The letter T is ambiguous.

    Teenage
    Tiny
    Tall
    Threatening
    Tampered
    Tangled
    Tacky
    Terrific
    Tarnished
    Tangy
    Typical

  9. #9
    Occasional Member Evan's Avatar
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    T women are hot. The problem is that a lot of young ones are very unrealistic about the world of feelings. I tend to connect most deeply to NF women unless the T women has a well developed F side.

  10. #10
    Senior Member bluebell's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Evan View Post
    The problem is that a lot of young ones are very unrealistic about the world of feelings.
    Yep, that's what I was like in my teens for sure. Fe makes more sense to me these days, although I'm still prone to being emotionally clueless at times.

    Edit: I don't think that's exclusively a female thing, though - younger INTX males have those tendencies as well.
    ...so much smoke pouring out of each chromosome.

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