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  1. #21
    Senior Member norepinephrine's Avatar
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    Do you consider it an asset to be T or do you wish that you were a F?
    I consider it an asset (a HUGE asset when I was suddenly dumped into the chemistry department with no warning). I like being the office problem-solver and detective. And I don't mind being considered a little odd.

    Are you conciously trying to develop your F skills?
    Been there, done that. At my first review at my first real job, my supervisor noted that some of the clientele found me a bit cold. So, noted and fixed. Well, it wasn't quite that simple but I worked on putting more warmth into my interpersonal interactions. After a while it became more natural. About the only thing that I find overly draining anymore is the occasional dog-and-pony show anyone being paid by public funds is obligated to attend. I can do it, but afterwards is a cross between being exhausted and trying to come down off a high.

    If you are a parent, do you think you are less nurturing?

    I think I was a very good parent. Probably more so at the point my son became a functioning human entity with his own opinions. We have an excellent relationship. He's one of the few people I with whom I can really do that give-and-take humorous debating that leaves people on the sidelines making bets.

    What about romance?
    You would ask that. Right now, I'm content. But between my ex and current friend, I took a 20 year hiatus. It probably would have been longer (say... the rest of my life?) if ENTJs were not so persistent. Even then, it was 2 1/2 months between the point I let him close enough to make an offer and my decision to accept. So, I kind of feel as though I was rescued, in a way. Oddly, once there's someone in your life, alternate possibilities seem to appear out of the woodwork....

  2. #22
    o edward cullen! Ardea's Avatar
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    Ask SolitaryWalker about this. He knows his shizz.

    Perhaps being a T, you know how to properly synthesize emotions than say an F.

    I like being a T. I have strong F tendencies. I handle them well, or at least I hope I do. I'm constantly working on both, searching for that balance. I'm happy where I am.

  3. #23
    Senior Member ceecee's Avatar
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    Do you consider it an asset to be T or do you wish that you were a F? I don't wish I was an F. Not at all. It makes me a bit of an odd woman. I embrace that though.

    Are you conciously trying to develop your F skills? I think partially age helped me develop it. Becoming a parent did as well. I can appear cold but I never feel that way. I am feeling just as much as anyone. By not showing it outwardly and having to process it, I suppose that's how it looks. Being a woman makes it stand out much more.

    If you are a parent, do you think you are less nurturing? Absolutely not. I am a very good parent if I do say so. My kids always said..we know you won't fly off the handle and you will be rational about things. It's easy to come to you because of that. I think that's quite something to hear from your nearly grown children. I must have done something right. They never wanted for love and hugs and kisses (and still don't) or motherly coddling. I'm all about that stuff when they need it or I need to show it.


    What about romance? I am married to an ENFJ. This is a romantic man. I admit I was sort of blindsided by a man like this. In a good way though. I think he loves my creativity as far as romance is concerned. It may not be conventional but I adore him and I show it. (I made him a bunch of cookies shaped as letters that he had to put into words. It was HI-larious) He doesn't bring me flowers all the time (but he does a lot) and knows that a Spongebob bento box will make me squeal like a teenage F girl. I've grown very fond of romance, needless to say.
    I like to rock n' roll all night and *part* of every day. I usually have errands... I can only rock from like 1-3.

  4. #24
    Diabolical Kasper's Avatar
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    Do you consider it an asset to be T or do you wish that you were a F?

    There have been times where my NTness has been an asset, particularly in business, I've been able to get ahead while others have been looked over because of my result-orientated objectiveness but overall it's not an asset, it just is, often where I have strengths a SF has weaknesses and vice versa, you work with what you have.

    Are you conciously trying to develop your F skills?

    I always have, society expected it, can't say I ever liked the expectations that were placed on me but what can you do *shrug* balance in any function is a good thing though so I consider my balance in T v F a strength. In a weird way F males and T females have an advantage as they are expected to be the opposite and as such often develop a T/F balance quicker, the reasons may suck but the results are a benefit.

    If you are a parent, do you think you are less nurturing?

    Not a parent but no I don't think I would be. Nurturing is important for a child and I know this so would provide it as best as I could. My nephew gets smothered in love when I visit, just a matter of deciding what kind of parent you're going to be I believe.

    What about romance?

    I'm a hopeless romantic, think my N comes into play here. Getting me to reveal this is the hard part but once I do look out.

    Quote Originally Posted by Hmm View Post
    I'd rather have a T women snuggle-fest like in Jeffsters similar thread instead of a discussion.
    Grrrr



    ((snuggle-hug))

  5. #25
    4x9 cascadeco's Avatar
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    It's interesting reading these posts.

    Although not a 'T' woman, I relate to much of it.

    Growing up I never related to the vast majority of my peers, and definitely didn't understand or relate to all of the girly things, gossiping, etc etc in my teenage years. I was very much an outsider and was...unique. My interests were unusual, I didn't really fit in with ANY of the groups, was unpopular and nerdy and one of the 'smart ones', and was a social misfit.
    "...On and on and on and on he strode, far out over the sands, singing wildly to the sea, crying to greet the advent of the life that had cried to him." - James Joyce

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  6. #26
    not to be trusted miss fortune's Avatar
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    Do you consider it an asset to be T or do you wish that you were a F?

    I like it, it allows me some distance and objectivity in situations where an F may hinder me a bit. Why bother wishing to be a feeler when it's not going to happen?

    Are you conciously trying to develop your F skills?

    I remind myself that other people DO care about shit and that I shouldn't blurt out possibly hurtful things because I don't like to be the cause of people crying (you get mean looks and are expected to comfort them, which I totally suck at!)

    If you are a parent, do you think you are less nurturing?

    I'm not a parent and I hope never to become one. I'm perfectly sure that I would be a horrible parent, as I'm both totally spacy, like a good ExxP and I NEVER hug people and often forget to express fondness of people when they sometimes feel that I should

    What about romance?

    I'm romantic in the impulsive "roadtrip to another city to eat at a restraunt that you've never tried but always were curious about and then check out a museum that's filled with stuff that interests you" but I'm not romantic in the more conventional wuvvie dovie manner
    “Oh, we're always alright. You remember that. We happen to other people.” -Terry Pratchett

  7. #27
    Senior Member ZiL's Avatar
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    Do you consider it an asset to be T or do you wish that you were a F?

    I like being a T. I'm not sure if it's an asset per se - it can make things more complicated, especially in personal relationships when people project their ideas of what is female on me and then get confused or disappointed when they don't recieve what they dreamed up. But it's nothing I really want to change; I want to learn to work with it.

    Are you conciously trying to develop your F skills?

    Sure. I think I'm a very considerate person in general, though I might come off abrasive from time to time and not realize it. But on the inside I'm always trying to take others into consideration. I'll never be the type you can come crying to, though. I mean, you can come crying to me, but you'll get me trying to give you solutions to your problems rather than calming words of comfort or something like that. I have decent F skills, but I'll never be able to fulfill certain characteristics commonly associated with ze Fs. Just doesn't feel genuine trying to force them.

    If you are a parent, do you think you are less nurturing?


    I'm not a parent, and I have no idea what it might be like. I'd definitely be SOME kind of mother .

    What about romance?

    This is something that can cause me a lot of stress. I think I'm romantic, but not in the typical sense. This is definitely something causing me some issues right now! I've just started dating this guy (my first actual boyfriend - uggh I'm a 20-year-old loser, lol), and while he knows I'm not a "typical" (for lack of a better term) girl, I still feel he expects certain reactions out of me when he does sweet things. As soon as I feel that pressure to act a certain way though, I totally shut down. I appreciate the gestures, but I'm unable to react the "right" way. So romance as a T...this will definitely be a learning experience.

    If I had to say what I think romantic is at this moment, it'd definitely involve deep conversations where you reach those moments of what seems like total understanding. I'm more immediately affected by the words and the facial expressions that accompany them than by gifts or actions.
    ALL AROUND THE WORLD PEOPLE EATIN' GUMBO

  8. #28
    half mystic, half skeksis jenocyde's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ZiL View Post
    This is something that can cause me a lot of stress. I think I'm romantic, but not in the typical sense. This is definitely something causing me some issues right now! I've just started dating this guy (my first actual boyfriend - uggh I'm a 20-year-old loser, lol), and while he knows I'm not a "typical" (for lack of a better term) girl, I still feel he expects certain reactions out of me when he does sweet things. As soon as I feel that pressure to act a certain way though, I totally shut down. I appreciate the gestures, but I'm unable to react the "right" way. So romance as a T...this will definitely be a learning experience.

    If I had to say what I think romantic is at this moment, it'd definitely involve deep conversations where you reach those moments of what seems like total understanding. I'm more immediately affected by the words and the facial expressions that accompany them than by gifts or actions.
    I hear ya, sister.

    It bugs me that the words "thank you" are not enough for most people. Anything beyond that feels fake to me, but most people need a reaction above and beyond anything that I am comfortable giving.

    I also fall in love and feel closer after long, engaging talks. No amount of trinkets or hugs will affect me the same way.

  9. #29
    / nonsequitur's Avatar
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    Do you consider it an asset to be T or do you wish that you were a F?
    I can see advantages to being a T, but the same is true of being an F. I think I've gained enough self-acceptance to like myself the way I am, but sometimes I think I'm from another planet with regards to fitting in as a female. It definitely helps in my field though. It gets me a lot more respect from my peers.

    Are you conciously trying to develop your F skills?
    I was; now I concentrate on trying to be balanced because of Fi overload.

    If you are a parent, do you think you are less nurturing?
    I'm not a parent, and I don't think I'll ever be. I care about people, but I don't think kids would understand the concept of Mommy needing a lot of "alone time".

    What about romance?
    I don't respond well to romance/sweetness/flirting. I get awkward and incredibly embarrassed. Any level of public intimacy/affection is something that I turn into a joke, just so that it won't be taken seriously. I can do understated intimacy, where such moments/actions are never ever mentioned again. Otherwise I retreat and hide in my hermetic cave until I get over it.

  10. #30
    Queen hunter Virtual ghost's Avatar
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    I just want to say that some guys would date you exactly because of the things society does not like about you or the things you don't like about yourself.

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